the virgin & the bees

What are some common dating dealbreakers? Signs of a toxic and/or abusive relationship? How do you know whether to commit to a relationship or let go of it?

These are some core questions this episode revolves around and my ~attempt~ to answer them with help from some of the sources listed below :)

It's a big question! To get started, I polled listeners via the pod's Instagram asking what they think is key to healthy relationships. I share their answers in this episode, as well as discuss a healthy relationship model from world-renowned psychologists and researchers, the Gottmans.

Check us out on IG :) @thevirginandthebeespodcast

RESOURCES:

 We're back with Part 2 of our revisit of (500) Days of Summer.

This time, guest Sophia and I discuss:

• how (and even if) the characters grow throughout the film 
• our thoughts on the film's take on love & rom-coms 
• the manic pixie dream girl  
• does Tom actually love Summer?
• the villainization of people who want casual relationships 
• the bench scene
• the ending

☀️☀️☀️

My childhood bestie Sophia and I revisit the thought-provoking movie (500) Days of Summer and discuss....   

• the roadblocks in Summer & Tom's relationship
• the problem with the "nice guy" trope & how toxic masculinity presents in Tom
• situations in which we reminded ourselves of Tom
• situations in which we felt like Summer
• rejection (and some of our experiences with it, on both sides)
• the best character of the whole film... Tom's little sister!

☀️☀️☀️

LINKS/RESOURCES

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! ❤️ 

Join us for a fun lil chat as guest Darcy and I reflect on Valentine's Day and share ideas of what to do if you're single, mindful reminders if you're in a relationship, and some of our previous Valentine's Day experiences.

2022 is just around the corner! So I thought I'd share some rituals for transitioning from the old year to the new

Moving on is messy. Whether you've broken up with a longtime partner you co-owned a cat with or you're trying to get over someone you never even dated — both are painful and difficult in their own way — and we're here to talk about it and share what we've learned along the way. Thank you to Olivia for joining us today, and thank YOU for tuning in :) Keep on buzzing!

I made a playlist curated with songs that fit the vibe of the podcast! 

In what ways can your body image shift when being intimate with different genders? What does it mean to "dress queer"? What are some pros and cons of labeling your sexual orientation? How can you respond to the question "who is the spoon and who is the fork?" when asked about a same-sex relationship? Tune in for a conversation exploring the intricate nature of these topics, as guest Bella and I dive into how our bisexuality has impacted our self perception and expression.

What are people's honest thoughts about hookups? I separately interviewed six guests to find out! Listen in to hear about their experiences and lessons learned in navigating hookup culture.

🌻QUESTIONS 

Q1: What has your experience been like navigating hookup culture? (2:37)

Q2: What have you learned about yourself? (13:33)

Q3: What advice do you have for others? (28:24)

Bonus Question: How has the pandemic affected dating for you and how have you handled it? (38:09)

🌸GUESTS (in order of appearance)

- Lauren (IG & YouTube: @laurenvan_ | TikTok: @caliherdaddy) 

- Austen 

- Darcy (IG: @d__rcyb8) 

How does people pleasing affect dating, sex and relationships? How can you assert your boundaries in a way that’s comfortable for you? How can you find a healthy balance if you’re a people pleaser?

In the pod's 9th episode, sexpert (former UCSC SHOP educator) and Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, Carly Shaul, joins in again to continue our conversation from our previous episode "The Virginity Myth". In that episode, we discussed the complicated social construct of “virginity” and Carly shared how she coped with negative sexual experiences, which were intricately tied to people pleasing. This time, we talk about how people pleasing affects dating, sex and intimate relationships (and Carly shares her tips on how she navigates this!).

Society places so much pressure on young people when it comes to "losing their v card" — but how much of this is helpful versus harmful? What even is virginity? Do we place too much importance on it? Do we have unrealistic expectations? What if your first time isn't a good time?

In this episode, I chat with sexpert (former UCSC SHOP educator) and Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, Carly Shaul, about how we define virginity and the impacts of purity culture. Carly also shares her "first time" experiences — reflecting on the intricate, complicated nature of teenage sex and how she coped with negative sexual experiences.

In today's episode, I'm joined by fellow bisexual Lauren Van for a discussion on the complexities of labeling yourself and your sexual orientation, as well as some of the experiences and issues we've faced as bisexuals — including external & internalized biphobia, changing ratios, common misconceptions and more!

How can you bring mindful masturbation into your partnered sex life? What are some ways you can explore virtual intimacy if you can't physically be with your partner? What are some tips for mindfully consuming porn and making sure it plays a healthy role in your life?

We're back with PART 2 of "Mindful Masturbation" with Corinne Guichard, yoga instructor and sexpert (former editor-in-chief of UC Santa Barbara's SexInfoOnline), as we tackle the more external factors of mindful masturbation... porn and your partnered sex life.

Stronger orgasms, learning more about yourself, and developing a stronger sense of connectedness to your body, sexuality and spirit — these are just a few benefits of mindful masturbation! But how can you begin to incorporate mindfulness and yoga principles into your masturbation practices? What does that look like? Corinne Guichard, yoga instructor and sexpert (former editor-in-chief of UC Santa Barbara's SexInfoOnline), joins today's episode as we explore these questions! 

How does dating even work during a pandemic? What are some best practices when it comes to dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge? Why do you sometimes have chemistry over text but not in real life?

Chelsea and I have spent 6+ years on dating apps and Chelsea is now engaged to a partner she met on Hinge. Together we share some of the good (and the bad) we've experienced on dating apps as we go through what makes a good profile, what photos you should use, messaging tips and tricks, how to secure a first date, mindsets going into a first date, mindsets after a first date, and transitioning from the "dating" stage to defining the relationship. We also discuss general attitudes towards online dating, as well as burnout on dating apps.

What does healthy consent look like? What is its role in a committed, established relationship? In a hookup? In something in between? How does our society view and interpret consent and how can we move towards better understanding? Sexpert Nick Kludjian, former editor-in-chief of UCSB's SexInfoOnline, joins today's episode as we explore these questions! 

DISCLAIMER/TW: We know that consent is closely tied to sexual harassment and rape culture. While we do not go into detail with these topics, we do briefly discuss them throughout as they are closely tied to consent.

What even is virginity? In this first episode of the virgin & the bees, we cover a lot of topics — from discussing what it's like to be a virgin in college amidst hookup culture (and having sex "late") — to some things you should know before sex like proper condom use, hymen facts, healthy mentalities, the myth that it's supposed to hurt the first time and more!