I'm Uncomfortable

Is it imposter syndrome, or are you actually not qualified? In this episode we try finding a new job - reading job descriptions, writing 500 different resumes, getting to stage 4 in the interview process only to get that dreaded "Thank you for your time...". We share practical tips on finding your confidence, making the application process more efficient, and questions you can ask during the interview to help you stand out!

It might SOUND gross, but having a "rot" day may just be exactly what you need! "Rot day" seems to have originated as a concept on TikTok, where users share content related to self-care, relaxation, and indulgence. It's essentially a designated day to take a break from the usual responsibilities and activities to focus on prioritizing your well-being and recharge your batteries. We go over a few basic components to help you create the PERFECT rot day and share our own indulgences from a Popeye's meal to yummy smoothies.

If you've ever had a friend disappear after getting into a relationship (or if you've been that friend...) you know balancing your friendships and your relationship can be challenging! Who do you prioritize when date night lands on the same night your friends want to hang? How do you manage your expectations of your friend's time if they're in a new relationship, or if they get married? In this episode we respond to TikTok user Kaj Mahal's list of "How to have friends while being in a relationship".  

We discuss the idea that one person cannot fulfill all your needs, the importance of retaining your own personality when in a relationship, and important boundaries that need to be set – like maybe not sharing every single thing about your significant other to your whole friend group. Of course, we also dish on our own personal experiences being both the friend in the relationship and the single friend. 

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Sometimes doing something new or scary can feel impossible - what will people think? What if I fail? We get stuck on the "right" way to do something or the "right" choice to make that we actually end up feeling stuck (and doing nothing at all). We get into the clingy "what-ifs", how to face the actual worst case scenario, and ways to take small actions (that may lead to surprising outcomes!)

It sometimes feels like college was just yesterday. Other days you realize it isn't as close as it once was. Millennials specifically have faced a lot of L's (losses) in comparison to our parents - from being told our coffee or avocado toast habits are the reason we can't buy a house to college costing 100x more to putting off having kids/getting married because "in this economy!?" When we came across TikTok user @imsadalex 's response to @aimeecarty 's "2 Days Into College" video, we actually cried. We discuss the things we thought we wanted or would have achieved by a certain age, what's important to us now, and get into why the Daily's "It Sucks to be 33" thinks we're experiencing these passing "milestones".

Armed with Chat GPT, the color picker tool, and our time of birth - we pit the Color Matching trend against the Venus Sign trend to see which worked best for helping us determine our personal style. You may have seen these trends and wondered if you should pay for the Astra subscription or $300 to get color matched yourself. Don't worry - we got you with this try. Tune in to find out which prompts to plug into Chat GPT to figure out which "season" of colors looks best on you and what styles of clothing, accessories, and makeip is best for your astrological Venus sign.

We think of voice as a product, an end result, but how often have you thought about what it feels like as it's leaving your body? Have you been in talk therapy repeating the same patterns of ideas? Carrie and Ellen join us in this episode to talk about sound as play, the neuroscience of sound, and share how somatic work allows us to come back to our bodies in a way that can be deeply healing. 

SmashUp Somatics compassionately and playfully explores the felt sense of the body in connection with emotions, with a focus on the voice, gentle movement and body awareness. Tune in for some uncomfortable sounds and a lot of laughs. 

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We've got some juicy listener submissions in this episode - and some crazy stories of our own! Weddings can be beautiful, wonderful, crazy, stressful, horrific times. We get into why weddings (especially being in them) can be such an uncomfortable and stressful time. From bridesmaids fighting in the Vegas club line to bachelorette activities going way over budget, we share our own "first time" experiences being in weddings and how to proactively be more comfortable and set boundaries once you say "yes" to being part of someone's special day.

"Rotting" sounds great in theory, but if you're not used to resting and taking the time to recharge it may cause more anxiety than anything else. Inspired from a text reminder from Melissa to Vanessa, we explore why intentionally getting rest can feel uncomfortable. We discuss the pitfalls of rest as a reward, how to start small (even if it means scheduling in rest time), and share our best tips for after-cry care (which, believe it or not, is very real). If the spirit moves you, have a lil cry (or just rest) yourself.

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What if instead of counting down the days until your period ends, you tracked your cycle...the entire time? Melissa has been a fan of knowing the science behind the cycle but Vanessa shares why she was so reluctant to track her period. Like, what men used to do to women (and might still do) in a misogynistic way?! No thanks. BUT over time Vanessa's mind has changed, and yours might too if you're not already a regular tracker. We each share the apps we use to track our cycles and what we like about it and discuss the benefits EVERYONE can enjoy when we're in tune with our cycles. From knowing when your body might need to do less intense workouts to predicting the best times to take on new projects, tracking what phase you're in can offer a newfound sense of control and self-awareness. In fact, it sometimes offers peace of mind to know why you might be feeling a certain way (physically and emotionally).

Throwing up your hands and saying "Jesus take the wheel" (even jokingly, shout out Carrie Underwood) can be uncomfortable AF. But no matter how much you try, sometimes the only thing you can control...is yourself. In this episode we discuss what it's like to be the planner, organizer, and person "in control" of the details - which sometimes leads to feelings of burn out or frustration when things don't turn out "right" or people don't show up in the ways we want or expect. As always, we share advice from our therapists on how to let go of control which can look like changing your expectations, shifting your perspective, and letting others show up in the way they can and want.

What happens when you force yourself to be uncomfortable? For Vanessa, it meant finding out pottery was not for her. We're diving headfirst into the wild world of discomfort and exploring how leaning into those cringe-worthy, awkward and sometimes terrifying situations can actually be the secret sauce to leveling up in life.

Vanessa reveals her secret new hobby and Melissa sets clear rules for what Fear and Discomfort are allowed to do on a road trip. Tune in for a book rec from Olivia Rodrigo, more words of wisdom from our therapists, and stories about how stepping outside of our comfort zones has lead to personal growth and fostered resilience.

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"It's not you, it's me" is a real thing. We kick this season off exploring the discomfort breaking up, making up, and dating brings. Whether it's the angry break up, the mutual break up, and the "what even was that" "break up", we cover the importance of defining boundaries after a relationship or friendship ends, why "block them" isn't always the best advice (even though it's the most popular), and share mantras and coping mechanisms to help you navigate it all.

We discuss Vanessa's recent break up and why the "mutual" break up can feel the worst. Melissa shares what dating again after a period of learning to love herself and protect her peace feels like. We wrap up our conversation sharing tips for how to feel more comfortable putting yourself out there (again) and finding out what you want and need from a relationship with a partner or friend.

Do you know the difference between being empathic, thoughtful, and caring and being a people pleaser? As self proclaimed "recovering people pleasers", we're excited to spill the tea on eight dead giveaways that you might just be a people pleaser too. We discuss how trying to please everyone can please no one and the negative effects that bending over backwards can have on your mental and emotional well being. In this season finale we share the uncomfortable ways we've learned to set firm boundaries, practice self-care without feeling selfish, and summon the confidence to say "no" when it counts the most.

Ever wondered what's hidden in the lines on your palms? Vanessa tries psychic tinder and Melissa goes to the local psychic in our hometown in order to confront our fears by getting our palms read for the very first time. Tune in to find out if we become palm reading believers.

We are thrilled to welcome Heather Kornman to share her "one room at a time" approach to less waste living and her journey to bringing her sustainable business idea to life. If you find yourself wanting to reduce your waste and just generally be better to the planet, we discuss recycling, package free goods, and what products you can start replacing first. Heather had the idea forThe Golden Triangle, a refill shop in Lomita CA, during the pandemic. She describes how to push past the discomfort of sitting with questions about your purpose and how to leverage your unique gifts to make your dream a reality one brick at a time.

Sunday Scaries got you bad, you're over hustle culture, you're done living for the weekend, and maybe you're even wondering what the point of any of this is. "Is this just life?" Career and Life Coach Meghan Murphy had those same reflections. Meghan describes reaching her breaking point and deciding it was time to start designing a life she loved, including doing work that fulfilled her. She shares how we can do the same and why "failure" may not be your biggest fear.

The bloodier the better! Today's bakers face the challenge of baking bloody brain spooky cupcakes with a limited amount of time. With one baker down an oven and the other completely deviating with her own fancy plans, will our bakers finish in time? More importantly, would they 10/10 reccomend this try activity to a friend?

We have Karmen Huerta, "in studio" to share what it's like to break off a situationship "no contact", deal with being unemployed, and learn to authentically put yourself out there to meet new people. Host of the Y Tu Novio Podcast and Single AF Party, Karmen explains why talking about sex even with friends can feel so taboo and how to step outside the discomfort of dating in a way that feels natural and less pressured. If you're feeling single AF, stuck with your job (or recently got laid off and don't know what to do next), or are struggling to find and follow your passions, this one's for you.

Barbie nailed it when her response to Ken's "I feel what can only be described as admired but not ogled. And there's no undertone of violence.” with: “Mine very much has an undertone of violence.”

We get vulnerable and uncomfortable today as we share our earliest memories of being objectified and the impact it had on us throughout our adolescence. The unfortunate reality is that if you ask women when they first felt objectified or had something inappropriate said or done to them, most of them were just kids.

It's taken us both a while to be more comfortable with our bodies and some days we still feel uncomfortable or scared, but it helps to know we don't struggle alone.

Why spiral alone when you can spiral with friends? Just kidding - kinda. If you find yourself apologizing to your friends for "dumping" your issues on them or feeling bad about a having little menty-b (mental breakdown) via text/call, this one's for you.

We know dealing with mental health and just the every day crazy that is life sometimes can be hard, and we always advocate therapy, but there's something special and healing about sharing your experience with those you trust. Sometimes, they feel the same kind of crazy you do!

Nothing has made us feel as old as realizing we don't understand all the slang words "the youth" use these days. We shamelessly try to guess the meaning of numerous terms from "bussin" to how to properly use "stan" in a sentence. Guess along with us, or laugh at us, either way this episode is hilarious and a lot of fun.

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We explore a fascinating and frustrating tendency of our parents: the tendency to avoid saying the simple words, "I'm sorry," even when they know they're in the wrong. If your parents would rather suddenly be extra nice to you or buy you ice cream than actually apologize, we can relate.

Is it cultural? Generational? Situational? We get into how we've attempted to communicate with or parents when they've messed up and get comfortable with THEIR discomfort with the word "sorry".

Sometimes the pressure to make the "right" choice is crippling - the right choice is so definite, so black and white. It makes it feel like if you don't choose correctly, your life will be altered in some terrible way...forever

Making a "right for right now" choice puts you more in the moment. It's a reframe that makes the choice seem smaller because your answer only needs to be right for you in that moment. You can always make a different choice later.

In a world that constantly demands perfection, it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling inadequate or unworthy. But what if we challenged the notion that we have to be "enough" before we can prioritize self-care and pursue the things that bring us joy? In this episode, we delve into the concept of embracing imperfection and the power of self-care, even when it seems daunting or falls outside our comfort zones.

It's time to redefine "enough" and start caring for ourselves, no matter where we are on our journey.

Have you ever encountered someone who leaves you feeling exhausted and drained? If so, you might have crossed paths with an energy vampire. We dive deep into the fascinating concept of energy vampires - friends, family, or coworkers who feed off positive energy, leaving you emotionally depleted and mentally exhausted.

Join us as we explore the signs and traits of energy vampires, helping you identify them in your own life. From constant negativity and excessive complaining to gossip and emotional dumping, you may be surprised to find you're a vampire yourself!

Fear not! Our episode doesn't stop at identifying energy vampires; we equip you with practical strategies to protect yourself and maintain your emotional well-being. Discover the power of setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and cultivating a positive support system to shield yourself from vampires' draining influence.

We're bringing back a special episode - an interview with Ashleigh, the CEO of Recycle2Riches, about the benefits of thrifting and upcycling and how it can help us save money, especially in the face of inflation and rising prices.

We discuss the environmental impact of fast fashion and the importance of reducing our consumption, as well as the financial benefits of thrift shopping. Ashleigh shares tips on how to thrift effectively, including how to find items that you love and getting comfortable with the idea of items being "new to you" versus "used" or "old".

She also provides practical advice on how to incorporate thrift shopping into your lifestyle and how to make it a fun and enjoyable experience.

Whether you're a seasoned thrifter or just getting started, this episode will provide valuable insights and inspiration for anyone looking to save money and reduce their environmental footprint.

As we age, so do our parents. Obvious, right? But it can be a difficult process to witness. It can be hard to see our parents lose their independence or experience health issues that can impact their mobility, cognitive function, and emotional well-being - especially if they're unwilling to talk about it themselves.

In this episode, we discuss moments where we've realized that our parents are indeed getting older, various ways we've dealt with the discomfort, and how to cope with the different feelings that surface when facing this issue.

We kick off Season 6 by diving into the often nerve-wracking world of first dates. Our listeners shared some of their worst first date experiences, from texting the wrong address to suffering through an entire dinner. 

But fear not, we also discuss tips and tricks for having the best first date possible. From making sure you can find your date to showing yourself some compassion, we share some resources on how to get in the right headspace when you're getting out there. 

Whether you're a seasoned dater or just starting out, this episode has something for everyone looking to navigate the exciting, yet sometimes bumpy, road of first dates.

Oh, and Happy Valentines Day!

From baking sheets to books to sweaters and even ipods, how do you deal with giving an ex their stuff back? We're here to discuss how to approach the stuff swap and share stories that run the range from petty to enlightening. Vanessa shares her "shove it in a bag and drop it off in the dead of night" method vs Melissa's mature two-day discussion with a well-planned exchange of items. There's no right or wrong here (as long as you're not leaving a flaming pile of poop in a bag...)

Ever wonder why some people seem so comfortable in relationships, why you avoid them or have been frustrated with how anxious you get? Apparently, each of us has an "attachment style" - secure, anxious, and avoidant - that describes how we form relationships. Which style are you? 

AKA "How to tell your boss to go f*** themselves" - we get into it about why boundaries are so hard to set, what setting them can sound like, and what to do when a boundary has been breached. 

Being more mindful and thankful is just three easy steps away! We're going beyond just saying "thank you" this month and exploring a few easy ways you can infuse your life with more gratitude. 

Have you ever felt like an old soul and then found out it's because you've been reincarnated many times? Maybe you've felt stuck or jaded only to realize it's because your aura needs to be cleansed. In this Halloween special episode, we get our tarot cards read for the first time - listen to find out where tarot cards came from and why we may never do it again.

Want to be ridiculously happy? Look no further! Jokes aside, we discuss how little choices can lead to contentment, the discomfort of accepting we've been chasing a future that the Bible likely set out for us, and how to choose enlargement when faced with the question "Will this make me happy?"

Article: "Oliver Burkeman's last column: the eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life" (theguardian) 

Sometimes social media is amazing! Other times it makes you feel unworthy, annoyed, frustrated or broke. Want to step away but not delete your account in case you can never remember your password again? In this episode, we share tips from us and our listeners on how to manage the time you spend on social media and the way it makes you feel.

What are the benefits of muting/blocking people? What makes it hard to do it? When it comes to this issue, your personal safety and mental health should be the most important thing. This may be just the form of self-care you need.