The Empathetic Workplace

With 25 years of international management consulting and business leadership experience, and a passion for creativity, transformation and human development, Laurie Cameron is dedicated to helping people learn mindfulness to live with meaning and lead with purpose-driven performance. As a former Accenture management consultant and business executive with three companies, her clients tell her she “gets their challenges” – in how she translates mindfulness into practical language and applications for everyday life.

Laurie founded PURPOSEBLUE on her realization that mindfulness is the foundational competency for achieving human potential,  happiness and optimal well-being. Mindful, resilient leaders deepen their self-awareness and self-mastery, which allows them to be in a place of choice during difficult moments. Mindful leaders are able to stay connected to purpose and thrive during uncertainty, change, and the distractions of our tech world. In this episode, Laurie shares the benefits of mindfulness at work, in our homes, and throughout our lives, and gives advice on starting and maintaining mindfulness every day. 

You can learn more about Laurie on her website, https://lauriejcameron.com. See the training she offers to individuals and corporations at https://purposeblue.com. You can buy Laurie's book, The Mindful Day, at https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Day-Practical-Morning-Evening/dp/1426218362, and if you use Audible, the audiobook is currently free! You can register for the retreat Laurie is planning for March here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-art-and-science-of-being-fully-alive-tickets-136041771601?aff=erelexpmlt. Finally, don't forget to check out Laurie's guided meditations on the Insight Timer app, https://insighttimer.com. 

Dr. Shauna Springer is a nationally recognized expert on initiatives that benefit the military community. Known as "Doc Springer", she is a trusted adviser for a vast network of veterans, military families and fellow thought leaders. She has helped thousands of veterans and their partners thrive after military service, supporting warriors in reconnecting with their tribe, strengthening their relationships, and building lives driven by their values.

In this episode, Doc Springer shares her role at the Stella Center, a treatment facility for those suffering from PTSD that uses the stella ganglion block to target symptoms. She explains how this procedure offers healing by addressing the overactive “fight or flight system” that afflicts many with PTSD. She also discusses her book, Warrior, about supporting loved ones experiencing trauma.

You can see more about Doc Springer at https://www.docshaunaspringer.com. Learn about the trauma therapy discussed in this episode at https://stellacenter.com. Doc Springer's book, Warrior: How to Support Those Who Protect Us, is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Warrior-How-Support-Those-Protect/dp/1732167818/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=shauna+springer&qid=1612213780&sr=8-1. 

This week's conversation with Maryann Karinch got me thinking about a book I read recently, Whistling Vivaldi by Claude Steele. Steele talks about the stereotypes that affect all of us, both those being stereotyped and those who are stereotyping others. What are we missing when we make a snap judgment? What are the opportunities for connection that we can reap when we look past stereotypes to see someone more fully? 

In this episode, I recount the story that serves as the basis of the title of Steele's book, involving the college experience of NYT columnist Brent Staples. You can read Staples' account of his experience at https://www.ohlone.edu/sites/default/files/documents/imported/justwalkonbyblackmenandpublicspace.pdf. 

In this age of social distance, we are hungering for connection. Author Maryann Karinch is an expert in listening and body language. In this episode, she helps us learn how to use our body language to enhance connection, how to recognize the signs of stress in others, and the value of curiosity. We also talk about writing. Maryann's 32nd book (!!) releases Feb. 9th. Hear her tips on writing and learn about her newest book, Cosmic Careers, which releases on Feb. 9th. 

In this episode, Maryann mentioned the work of Paul Ekman, https://www.paulekman.com/blog/, and her article on Psychology Today, Paranoid? Not if You Either Go Away or Smile, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healthy-connections/202005/paranoid-not-if-you-either-go-away-or-smile. 

You can find more about Maryann at https://karinch.com and her work at the Rudy Agency at https://rudyagency.com.

For more on cosmic careers, see spacetalent.org.

Earlier this week, educator Lynne Azarchi mentioned that reading aloud to kids and discussing the book afterwards helps to build empathy in kids. It also builds empathy in adults! In this episode, I discuss the power of reading and recommend some favorite books that help build empathy. 

The study I mention in the article is discussed here: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/novel-finding-reading-literary-fiction-improves-empathy/

The books recommended in this episode are:

Grendel by John Gardner, https://www.amazon.com/Grendel-John-Gardner/dp/0679723110/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1VK04CE3FXOXZ&dchild=1&keywords=grendel+john+gardner&qid=1611227203&sprefix=grendel%2Caps%2C167&sr=8-1

Jazz by Toni Morrison, https://www.amazon.com/Jazz-Toni-Morrison/dp/1400076218/ref=sr_1_1?crid=6QR145U8QNND&dchild=1&keywords=jazz+toni+morrison&qid=1611227236&sprefix=jazz+toni+%2Caps%2C153&sr=8-1

The Life of Pi by Yann Martel, https://www.amazon.com/Life-Pi-Yann-Martel/dp/0156027321/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=life+of+pi&qid=1611226957&sr=8-2

The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak, https://www.amazon.com/Book-Thief-Markus-Zusak/dp/0375842209/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=book+thief&qid=1611227341&sr=8-1

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara, https://www.amazon.com/Little-Life-Hanya-Yanagihara/dp/0804172706/ref=sr_1_1?crid=18QTYHNLME15N&dchild=1&keywords=a+little+life&qid=1611227307&sprefix=a+little%2Caps%2C163&sr=8-1

Bel Canto by Ann Patchett, https://www.amazon.com/Canto-Harper-Perennial-Modern-Classics/dp/0061565318/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=bel+canto&qid=1611227383&sr=8-1

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles, https://www.amazon.com/A-Gentleman-in-Moscow/dp/0143110438/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3YMO2Q3DTPK8&dchild=1&keywords=gentleman+in+moscow&qid=1611227423&sprefix=gentleman%2Caps%2C157&sr=8-1

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo, https://www.amazon.com/Poet-X-Elizabeth-Acevedo/dp/0062662813/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=poet+x&qid=1611227451&sr=8-1

Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds, https://www.amazon.com/Long-Way-Down-Jason-Reynolds/dp/1481438263/ref=sr_1_1?crid=Y4VD72V8SLBR&dchild=1&keywords=long+way+down&qid=1611227491&sprefix=long+way%2Caps%2C160&sr=8-1

In this era of political strife, it's clear how important it is that kids learn empathy at an early age. Lynne Azarchi has taught empathy to children through her organization, Kidsbridge, for more than 18 years. She is also the author of The Empathy Advantage: Coaching Children to be Kind, Respectful, and Successful. In this episode, she shares advice for parents, educators, and anyone who loves a kid on how to help them to be empathetic, compassionate, and supportive of those who are different from them. 

Learn more about Kidsbridge here: https://www.kidsbridgecenter.org

Lynne's book, The Empathy Advantage: https://www.amazon.com/Empathy-Advantage-Coaching-Respectful-Successful/dp/1538143704/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=empathy+advantage&qid=1611011238&sr=8-1

Kidsbridge@Home, a free resource with activities for parents and educators to do with kids: https://www.kidsbridgecenter.org/kidsbridge-at-home/. 

The book that Lynne mentions, telling the story of the three little pigs from the wolf's perspective, is Jon Scieszka's The True Story of the Three Little Pigs (illus. by Lane Smith), https://www.amazon.com/True-Story-Three-Little-Pigs/dp/0140544518/ref=asc_df_0140544518/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=247586506947&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13193342678820050139&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007768&hvtargid=pla-435133916869&psc=1. 

It's okay if you're having some trouble focusing this week. Here is my take on taking care of ourselves and how to talk at work about what's happening in the world. Condensed transcript below.

I was on the Touchy Subjects podcast recently, which I highly recommend by the way, and they were referring to 2020 as the Year of Trauma. It’s easy to see why, with the coronavirus and political upheaval, institutional racism, environmental disaster. Unfortunately, that trauma seems to be following us into 2021. I’ve talked with so many people this past week who are distraught, unable to focus at work, not sleeping. I see arguments on Facebook like I’ve never seen before, even in the run-up to the election. How do we get out of this? 

First, I think we have to take a moment to acknowledge how horrific and scary this time is. It’s pretty clear now that there was a coordinated attack on our democracy, by people who intended to kidnap and possibly murder the Vice President and members of Congress, in anger because they refused to overturn a valid election. It’s okay if you need a minute to process that. This might not be your most productive week. Take a run, listen to music, write in your journal, draw or paint. Whatever your self-care is, now is the time to lean into that.

Second, we have to be willing to talk about it. Whatever the feelings we have are, just talk about them. Talk about them with your family, your friends, and at work. In this week’s interview with Anjali Chaturvedi, I loved that she said, the important thing is THAT you talk about it. We may be afraid that we’ll do it inartfully, or we’ll trigger someone into an emotional response, or that we’ll reveal our own ignorance about something. We have to be brave enough to step into that vulnerable place. Because honestly, it’s the only way forward. We can’t keep papering over these feelings—just try to jump to unity, peace and flowers. It’s not authentic. We have to be willing to look at the hard emotions we’re experiencing.

In terms of how to do it, you can just say, “This has been a really hard week. How’s everyone doing?” Then be quiet for a second and let people talk if they want to. The key is not to jump in--allow the silence—count to ten if necessary. Most of the time people will fill that silence. If not, chime in yourself. “I’m exhausted. I’m having a hard time concentrating.” Or whatever you legitimately are experiencing. When others do share their feelings, let them get it out and then acknowledge it. Say things like, “I hear you.” “Yeah, I think anger is totally understandable right now.” “That makes sense.” Try to acknowledge everyone who speaks in some way, even if by group: “Yeah, I’m seeing a lot of people say that they were really scared. I can understand that, it was really frightening.”

If it starts to get into a political debate, that’s okay as long as people are civil. Try to keep the discussion to feelings rather than debating facts.

Third, engage outside help. Remember that EAP is there for a reason. If your organization has an Employee Assistance Program, and most do, remind people about them. They’re free, they’re confidential, and if you don’t want to talk to them, they can refer you to outside services. If you don’t have EAP there are community resources. Call 211—it’s a free community call line that connects you with local organizations that can provide free assistance. It’s hard to know who needs help right now. Make sure everyone is aware of it.

We have to lead differently in 2021. We have to model compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and grace, in our families, our schools, our communities, and our workplaces. We have to be willing to talk about the hard stuff. Good luck with all of this my friends. May we have more peaceful times, may we create more peaceful times. Thanks for listening.

The Homicide Families' Victims' Rights Act was introduced into the House of Representatives this fall. It proposes to give those who've lost a loved one to homicide the right to a second look if the investigation has grown cold. Hear more about the legislation and what it adds for victims. 

You can read the full text of the proposed legislation here: https://swalwell.house.gov/sites/swalwell.house.gov/files/wysiwyg_uploaded/Homicide%20Victims’%20Families%20Rights%20Act%20of%202020.pdf. Here is a press release regarding the legislation: https://swalwell.house.gov/media-center/press-releases/swalwell-and-mccaul-introduce-bill-give-more-rights-families-homicide. 

MSNBC commentator and former prosecutor Glenn Kirschner has worked with families through the most difficult times in their lives--when a loved one has been murdered. Hear about how he builds rapport and trust, and why he knows that treating people with respect makes a bigger impact than the result you can get for them. 

Please note that this episode was taped a few months ago, so you'll hear a few references that are now out of date, including to the then-upcoming election!

Learn more about Glenn's nonprofit, Homicide Family Advocates, at https://homicidefamilyadvocates.wordpress.com. Glenn's podcast is called Justice Matters and you can see it on Apple podcasts here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/justice-matters-with-glenn-kirschner/id1526751534. Glenn's YouTube channel is https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrWmonkmTk5NbvmVnc7f70w and you can follow him on Twitter @GlennKirschner2, Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/glennkirschner2, and Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/glennkirschner2. His Patreon is https://www.patreon.com/glennkirschner.

Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate! The holiday season can both incredibly joyous and incredibly hard. This episode is about a time when I lost my joy and how I found it again. 

Remember to check out Meghan Riordan Jarvis's fantastic blog, www.griefismysidehustle.com, her facebook group, https://www.facebook.com/griefismysidehustle, and her Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/meghan.riordan.jarvis/.

Meghan Riordan Jarvis is a therapist who has worked with kids and adults in trauma for 20 years. She has some fantastic advice on how to support those who are struggling while also taking care of yourself--and finding joy along the way. You can see more from Meghan on her blog, www.griefismysidehustle.com, her Instagram, www.instagram.com/meghan.riordan.jarvis/, and her Facebook group, www.facebook.com/griefismysidehustle. 

Volleyball coach Hugh McCutcheon had some great advice on leading with consistency and empathy to build trust among team members and inspire responsibility to one another as well as individual effort. This got me thinking about coaches who lead with fear, in particular about the environment on the U.S. Women's Olympic Gymnastics Team that allowed the years of abuse perpetrated by Larry Nassar. 

To see more on Nassar, watch Netflix's documentary Athlete A (trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzeP0DKSqdQ) and check out this article in Glamour: https://www.glamour.com/story/women-of-the-year-2018-larry-nassar-survivors. You can view the victim impact statements from the Nassar state court sentencing hearing here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXlYRDMVULU. 

Hugh McCutcheon is a volleyball coach with outstanding lessons for anyone who is trying to motivate, inspire, and lead others. He is the head coach of the women's volleyball team at the University of Minnesota, where he has led the Golden Gophers to three NCAA Final Four appearances and been named Big Ten Coach of the Year twice. He also coached the Men's and Women's U.S. Olympic Volleyball Teams to gold and silver medals. I loved his messages on building trust among team members and mastery in individuals. I find myself quoting him almost weekly since our interview; I know you're going to find some great inspiration here. 

You can find out more about Hugh here: https://gophersports.com/sports/womens-volleyball/roster/coaches/hugh-mccutcheon/2330. Follow him on Twitter @McCutcheonMN.  

I learned so much from this week's interview with Leilani Schweitzer. In this short episode, I reflect on what I learned, including why it's so important that we show up for those in trauma and the moral and business reasons for sharing information with those who have been injured.  

Leilani Schweitzer's full TED talk can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmaY9DEzBzI. 

See below for the citations for the studies discussed in this episode:

Richard C. Boothman et al., “A Better Approach to Medical Malpractice Claims? The University of Michigan Experience,” Journal of Health and Life Sciences Law 125 (January 2009): 144. 

Jathan Janove, “A ‘Sorry’ Strategy,” SHRM, March 1, 2006, discussing apologies in medical malpractice, airline, and employment disputes. F.R. LeCraw et al., “Changes in liability claims, costs, and resolution times following the introduction of a communication-and-resolution program in Tennessee,” Journal of Patient Safety and Risk Management, 23, no. 1 (2018): 13–18. 

Bonnie Ackerman, “You Had Me at ‘I’m Sorry,’: The Impact of Physicians’ Apologies on Medical Malpractice Litigation,” National Law Review, November 6, 2018.

Jennifer K. Robbennolt, “Apologies and Medical Error,” Clinical Orthopedics and Related Research 467, no. 2 (February 2009) 376–82, finding that apologies “can decrease blame, decrease anger, increase trust, and improve relationships” and “have the potential to decrease the risk of a medical malpractice lawsuit and can help settle claims by patients.”

Leilani Schweitzer works at Stanford Children's Hospital, guiding families and medical providers through discussions after difficult outcomes--informed by her own experience losing her son due to a medical error in that same hospital. In this episode, she shares her insights on honesty, forgiveness, and knowing our boundaries as we care for others. A must-listen for those who work in healthcare, in-house attorneys, and anyone who doesn't know what to say when faced with someone going through an unspeakable loss. 

See Leilani's TED Talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmaY9DEzBzI. She was also featured on the TED Radio Hour's episode on transparency, available here: https://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/567499335/transparency and on RadioLab, available here: https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/radiolab/articles/radiolab-apologetical. 

You can see Leilani's incredible artwork on her website, https://www.verachroma.com, and her instagram, https://www.instagram.com/verachroma/. 

Learn more about The Empathetic Workplace podcast and your host, Katharine Manning. Thanks for tuning in!