Physician Assistant Burnout: Tips, Tools, and Interviews with PA and Life Coach Hope Cook

This episode is full of small, almost too-simple changes I've made over the years to help me still like seeing patients and shift the way I think about my "have to" list.

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After spending time dreaming and getting to know the new you, post burnout, you'll get to a point where you're ready to make big changes. Maybe you change specialities or maybe you stay put and work part-time or change your duties. How do you know what to do? Because this is a frequent question, I decided to put all my answers in an episode to help you navigate the changes and decisions that lie ahead.

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The good news is that you won't stay in the "barely surviving" stage of burnout forever. At some point, the smoke clears, and you rise from the ashes. But you're a different version of yourself. How do you decide who you'll be going forward? What will be different?

You may be surprised at the answer!

If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend and leave a review on Apple iTunes so others can find it!

Get ready for some ah-ha moments with these powerful questions. I've noticed a pattern when I ask PAs these magic questions, and I've included them in this episode. Sit and listen when you're free of distractions so you can see what bubbles to the surface as I ask them.

Being married to a forester, we talk about controlled burns, what measures need to be taken beforehand and what they do to prevent the fire from getting out of control. Listen and reflect on your own work life and burnout.

Have you noticed that you're hypervigilant when it comes to "making" other people happy? Do you scan everyone else's emotions but rarely think about what YOU need? Does the term "self care" make you mad because you don't have time for that when you're too busy taking care of everyone and everything?

If you answered yes to any of these, you might be mixing up the perfect recipe for burnout. You might be codependent.

I've been there and I still struggle with it. Let's talk about ways to reverse it! Listen to today's episode for tips and tools to combat codependency and burnout.

Have you ever felt everything inside you say "YES!"? Or maybe "NOOO!" These are huge clues from your subconscious (also known as your gut, your spirit, your intuition, or your essential self). I'll share times in my life when I've had this whole-body knowing and give you tips on how you can access this same knowing in your body.

In this episode, I interview my friend and fellow dermatology PA, Archana Sangha. Archana is a past president of SDPA and is currently working as a Medical Science Liaison. Not only does she share how she landed her job, but she also talks about her path to get there and how she managed two little ones, a full-time dermatology job, and held PA leadership positions during the pandemic.

Archana and I met on a Kenya medical mission trip when we were new dermatology PAs, and our most recent escapade was dressing as Tina Turner and Dolly Parton at a Nashville conference. This woman is amazing; you won't regret listening to her interview!

Do you ever feel like you're bashing your head against a wall? You know what you're doing isn't working out so well, but the idea of making change feels like too much? You end up following the same pattern again and again, blaming everyone around you, and nothing changes?

If this is you, give yourself the gift of 20 minutes to listen to this episode. This episode will help you break that pattern.

If you found this episode helpful, consider leaving an iTunes review (if you didn't, no need to leave a review!) and share it with a friend!

I recorded an entirely different episode, but the energy was definitely off. It took a walk around the block to decipher why. I was having a hard time with jealousy. Not something I'm proud of, but I decided if I'm struggling with it, maybe some of you are, too.

Here's how I shook it off, used it as good information, and reversed the effects.

If you found this episode helpful, consider leaving an iTunes review (if you didn't, no need to leave a review!) and share it with a friend!

It can be maddening when you're "off" or "out of alignment," but you don't know your next move. We want action, and we want it NOW, but if we skip the cocoon/inner work stage of healing, we'll have to repeat this lesson at a future date.

This episode is all about what you CAN do while you're waiting and trying to figure things out. This tool can be used immediately and will improve not only your career, but also your relationships. I'll talk about how it helped when I had intrusive thoughts about bosses and my husband, as well as how I see it has helped clients.

If you found this episode helpful, consider leaving an iTunes review (if you didn't, no need to leave a review!)

Burnout is like a clogged pipe; it's an ugly mass of hair, toothpaste, dental floss, and who knows what else. It starts months before you realize it with stress and overwhelm. If the stress goes unchecked, you find yourself with a major problem. The funny thing is how we're the ones taking on everyone else's issues--essentially taking on more grossness to create our clog in the first place. What if you were able to Let Go and Let Them (manage their own dang issues)?

If you found this episode helpful, consider leaving an iTunes review (if you didn't, no need to leave a review!)

Are you frequently disappointed with your job, your luck, or whatever life hands you? The next 25 minutes will change all that! Get back in the driver's seat of your life. Only one person can make the kind of changes in your life you desire (hint: it's you!)

My book will be out later this year, so limited coaching slots are available; email me if interested, hope.cook@gmail.com

I woke up at 38 and realized I'd checked all the boxes on my wish list. A boy, a girl, a house, a good job, a cute husband, a degree, and money in the bank. But I'd never felt more lost and bewildered. Why wasn't I happy? I'd gotten exactly what I wanted.

Reading Sue Monk Kidd's When the Heart Waits and Martha Beck's Way of Integrity opened my eyes about why I didn't feel good despite getting what I wanted. In this episode, we talk about wantings vs yearnings. What the brain thinks you want vs what the heart wants.

If you do all the self-care "things" and still feel crappy, this episode will explain why. I'll also give you 3 tools you can use to get reoriented on your path to purpose and joy. This is an episode you might need to save and listen to every few months as a reminder of what your Self really needs.

Think about it. If you're starved or depleted from life, maybe you're not getting soul food. Honestly, how much of your life makes you feel excited, happy, giddy and joyful? What abou the reverse--what makes you feel flat-out awful, drained, and heavy? Here's a shocker--this isn't the direction you want to keep going.

None of us are immune to down moments, dips in mood, catastrophes and disasters. They're part of life, right? What can you do now (assuming you're not in the throes of a cataclysmic event) to help the Future You get back up when she gets knocked down? Don't worry, these are pretty simple, yet powerful concepts. If you implement even one suggestion, you'll be better prepared the next time sh$% hits the fan.

We spend 1/3 of our waking hours at our jobs. How happy are you with your job? How much meaning do you feel around your work? Does what you do for a living matter?

These are some of the questions I tackle in this episode. Most of my thoughts and words on this subject come from reading Shawn Achor's book, The Happiness Advantage, a book I highly recommend.

I also discuss Shawn's quick habits you can implement to boost your happiness, plus I add a few of my own.

Do you get mad at yourself for not going after your dreams or not even dipping a toe into whatever it is you're curious about? Do you blame yourself, your busy life, lack of money, age, etc.? You're not alone. Resistance isn't unique to you. I'll describe what it looks like and how to win the war. This podcast is loosely based on Steven Pressfield's amazing book, The War of Art as well as Gay Hendrick's Zone of Genius.

Show notes:

1. The Journey Begins: Understanding the Struggle Bus:

• We kick things off by talking about the notorious "struggle bus." We've all been there, right? Feeling stuck and overwhelmed in your career, your relationships, or with another person. Today, we're going to break it down.

2. What if you saw your struggles as tests in the classroom of life?

• Life presents us with tests, and passing the tests helps you move to the next level. I'll share a few tests I've faced and we'll explore how we can look at life through the lens of "earth school"

4. Embracing Imperfection:

• Perfection? Not our goal here. Let's discuss the importance of embracing imperfections and understanding that they're all part of our journey.

5. Unpacking the Purpose:

• Time for some introspection. What's the point of your current struggle? How can you learn and grow from it? We'll uncover the wisdom hidden within challenges.

6. Stay in Your Lane:

• Comparison is a tricky game. I'll teach you why it's crucial to focus on your unique path and not get caught up in comparing your struggles to others.

7. Self-Reflection and Journaling:

• Grab your pen and paper, folks. We're diving into self-reflection and journaling. These tools are essential for processing emotions and finding clarity during challenging times.

8. Emotional Intelligence and Coping Strategies:

• Let's explore emotional responses and healthier ways to cope with life's challenges. Building emotional resilience is a key lesson.

9. Rewrite Your Story: Shifting Self-Labels:

• What if you could change how you see yourself? I'll show you how envisioning a different narrative for yourself can lead to personal growth and transformation.

10. Paying It Forward: Inspiring Others:

• Lastly, we'll talk about the ripple effect. Sharing your experiences and wisdom with others is a powerful way to inspire personal growth in yourself and those around you.

Conclusion:

• Remember to embrace your unique journey, accept life's tests, and keep your focus on the big picture. What is this teaching you or what could it teach you if you let it?

Show notes:

Introduction:

• Who do you want to be vs. who you really are
• How your unhappiness has everything to do with how you see yourself, others, and the world.

Segment 1: What is Dissonance? (00:02:15)

• Understand dissonance as a feeling of being out of alignment with your ideal self.
• Relate dissonance to beliefs, actions, and thoughts.
• Listen to specific examples to grasp the concept better.

Segment 2: Recognizing Dissonance (00:04:00)

• Honestly assess your alignment with your desired self.
• Reflect on whether you genuinely like yourself and whether you match up your past aspirations.

Segment 3: Choosing Your Thoughts (00:06:30)

• Contemplate past moments of unhappiness and self-questioning.
• Recognize the tendency to blame external factors when feeling out of alignment.
• Grasp the significance of the term "dissonance."

Segment 4: The Impact of Our Thoughts (00:09:45)

• Learn from Viktor Frankl's experiences during the Holocaust.
• Understand how thoughts influence your perception and response to circumstances.
• Understand that suffering is often a result of your thoughts.

Segment 5: Getting Out of the Box (00:13:30)

• Comprehend the concept of being "in the box" and its effects on emotions and physical well-being.
• Realize that staying in the box, even if you're right, is a choice and will lead to suffering 100% of the time
• Create an alternate story to shift your perspective and observe how it affects your feelings and reactions.

Segment 6: Self-Reflection and Accountability (00:16:45)

• Commit to daily reflection, journaling, or seeking support from others to acknowledge the times you're in the box
• Understand that no one else can put you in the box; you are responsible for your thoughts and reactions. You put yourself in the box

Chase and I went on our first-ever marriage retreat after finding ourselves in a relationship rut for the past year or two. As I learned new ways of thinking about things and how to shift my perspective, I realized the information would also help my wonderful podcast listeners with their career struggles.

I've done a lot of therapy and reading to make sure my marriage is able to survive, but when I read John Gottman's book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, I started seeing parallels with work relationships. Dr. Gottman talks about the "Four Horsemen" of marriage. These are things like contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, and criticism. If present when a couple is interacting, Dr. Gottman says their relationship has a high likelihood of collapsing. The same could be true with your workplace relationships. If you're shutting down or filled with contempt for your boss, guess what? You might need to start job searching. Or, you can work on turning it around. I'll go through the 4 horsemen and how they might show up in your workplace and what to do about it to try and salvage your job.

It's time, people! You finally get to nail what's sucking your energy and wasting your time. I'll teach you how to figure out who or what needs to go bye-bye and how to carry this out. If you like this episode, listen to 159 and 160 for decluttering your space and decluttering your emotions.

In this episode I review the most common emotions I encounter in my life coaching. I'll give you steps to figure out which emotions are "body snatching" you, how to be a thought detective, how to do a thought audit, and finally, what to do about those BIG emotions keeping you stuck.

Today I share a powerful tool that can help you clear out the clutter in your life and create space for meaningful change. In order to move forward on your career journey, you'll have to clear out the space to become (whatever that means for you).

Who Can Use This Tool: Are you ready to embrace change but find yourself overwhelmed by where to start? This episode is for anyone who's feeling stuck and yearning for a new direction, whether it's a career shift or a fresh perspective on life. If you often get lost in the details or struggle to imagine your next steps, this tool is designed just for you.

Who This Isn't For: If you're currently in survival mode or immobilized by the thought of change, this episode might not be the right fit for you. This tool is best suited for those who are ready to dream and take action.

Introducing the Declutter Decoy: The Declutter Decoy, is a game-changer that helps you create order and clarity in your life. This tool was taught to me as the "living space tool" by Martha Beck, but I like calling it the Declutter Decoy because it can shift your mindset without you even realizing it.

How It Works: Our lives often become cluttered, hindering our ability to see the bigger picture. Imagine zip-lining through a forest – you see the tops of trees and bald spots that are invisible from the ground. The same applies to our lives. We're going to explore four types of clutter: physical, emotional, human, and time clutter over the next few episodes.

Step 1: Physical Clutter: Physical clutter is present in everyone's life – from messy drawers to chaotic closets. The disorder distracts you from focusing on your dreams. Establishing order and discipline in your environment is essential for growth.

Examples of Physical Decluttering: We delve into practical examples of decluttering, from cleaning out your purse, and getting a haircut, to tidying up your car. Physical clutter affects decision-making and drains our energy.

The Declutter Decoy Technique:

1. Select a small, stress-inducing area in your space.
2. Describe it in detail – how it looks and makes you feel.
3. Contrast it with a clutter-free area that brings you calm.
4. Analyze the feelings and sensations each space evokes.
5. Identify parallels between cluttered spaces and areas of your life.
6. Make cluttered spaces feel more like the calm ones.
7. Break down the process into the simplest steps.

Personal Example: I share my experience using the Declutter Decoy technique to tackle my purse clutter, and how it relates to my social media posting habits. By taking small, manageable steps, I'm working to bring the calm and purpose I feel in coaching to this aspect of my life.

Applying the Technique: You're encouraged to take the lessons learned and apply them to your own cluttered spaces – whether physical, emotional, human, or time-related. By taking even the tiniest steps, you can create significant shifts in your life.

Conclusion: Remember, making even the smallest changes can lead to significant results. Just like a ship adjusting its course by a single degree, you can chart a new path and arrive at an entirely different destination. Embrace the Declutter Decoy and start recharting your life with hope.

If you found this tool valuable, don't forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review. Until next time, keep decluttering and keep believing in the power of change.

Everyone has fear to some degree. But how do some people keep doing scary things and others get stuck for years (or a lifetime)? What do you do about fear of making a mistake or fear of failure?

🗣️ In this thought-provoking episode, we'll dive deep into the world of self-compassion and its profound impact on healing burnout. You may have heard Kristen Neff's remarkable TED talk on the subject, but get ready for even more eye-opening revelations!

🚀 Discover how fostering radical self-compassion can transform your life, boost resilience, and dissolve the chains of self-criticism.

After reading dozens of Facebooks posts and comments from people who say they'd love to cut back to part-time but can't, I decided to share 3 tools to give you the shift you need to make it happen. If you've longed for a change in your schedule but a part of you says it'll never happen, this episode is for you.

If you still don't feel ready, reach out and I'll walk you through the steps to get you there.

Want to know a trick to determine if you're resisting change because of fear? Tell yourself you have to stay put and see how that feels in your body. If it feels bad, you need to make changes. Likewise, if you tell yourself you can have a do-over and change your mind, and if your body feels free, relieved, or expansive, this is a sign you need to make a change.

Plus, how to talk to fear in a way that'll calm it down and allow you to choose the right path going forward.

Step 1 was all about inner work: admitting you're lost, confused, and stuck. This step is all about dreaming and giving yourself permission to do so without rules or restrictions. Have you ever noticed how, when you first experience an "I'm stuck and don't have a clue what to do next" type situation, you become paralyzed for a while? Then, you eventually start seeing glimmers of hope, you start brainstorming and thinking "what if" type thoughts. This is step 2!

Every single time life throws us a curve ball (aka CHANGE), we go through the 4 stages of change according to Martha Beck. When you first experience a big change, you might feel completely lost, angry, or have total disbelief. Listen to find out more about stage 1 of the change cycle and how it relates to your career.

Did you hear the story last summer about the lady who fell head-first into the porta-potty while trying to retrieve her cell phone using her dog leash? I use this fascinating story of (attempted) resilience and failure to illustrate what we can do when we find ourselves in situations involving shi%$y work situations.

If you're curious about whether life coaching can help you get unstuck or make your next career move, let's talk! We'll meet up on zoom and chat.

I'd love to meet you, so stop thinking about it and take action! Remember, you can't think your way to clarity, but taking action will lead you there.

The day I recorded this episode I said YES to bringing my son's computer to school when he forgot it. I wanted to say no, but mom guilt and people-pleasing made me say yes. 20 minutes later I was pulled over and given a ticket. I've learned that lesson and tried to share my insights and tips with you!

If you're curious about whether life coaching can help you get unstuck or make your next career move, let's talk! We'll meet up on zoom and chat.

I'd love to meet you, so stop thinking about it and take action! Remember, you can't think your way to clarity, but taking action will lead you there.

When I was asked to write an article on burnout and how lifestyle medicine can help, I dragged my heels, thinking I wasn't perfect enough to offer tips or advice. But, it turns out I already do many of the things lifestyle medicine promotes, and you can, too. They're not complicated and don't require enormous change. And I can promise you'll feel better if you try these on for a week.

For years I held myself to such high standards I made myself miserable. I walked around on Empty. But I wasn't able to see that I was the problem. Instead, I blamed others and my job. Learn to assess which things fill you up and which things drain you, then give yourself permission to let go.

If you're curious about whether life coaching can help you get unstuck or make your next career move, let's talk! We'll meet up on zoom and chat. I'd love to meet you, so stop thinking about it and take action! Remember, you can't think your way to clarity, but taking action will lead you there.

Y'all know I share too much sometimes, including arguments with my husband, yelling at my kids, and being mad at whatever injustice I think I've suffered. Today's episode takes a look at what the anger is all about using examples from my own life. I'll give you a few tools to use the next time you feel angry. Don't let anger cause you to "burn down" your life or your marriage. Instead, look underneath it and get curious about why it's there.

If you're curious about whether life coaching can help you get unstuck or make your next career move, let's talk! We'll meet up on zoom and chat. I'd love to meet you, so stop thinking about it and take action! Remember, you can't think your way to clarity, but taking action will lead you there.

In this episode I share a vulnerable truth about not getting to do the Mastercoach program I applied to, I talk about the mistakes I've made when I squeeze my eyes shut and hope for the best, and I tell about a relative who ate poison by accident.

After 20 years of marriage, we thought it was time to celebrate with a childless trip to Italy! Listen for tips on how you can get the same perspective shift without leaving your home!

This is the last episode of Season 3, so click the subscribe button so you'll receive new episodes when Season 4 starts.  

In the meantime, why not get coached?

Who I coach: burned-out working women who can't imagine staying in their jobs for another 10 years, but they a) feel a lot of GUILT for not loving their job b) aren't sure WHAT they'd do next c) aren't sure HOW do leave or pivot.  

Why use me?  You know life is too precious to waste years being in a job you dread.  I've been there and came out stronger on the other side.  You can, too!  I've got tools that I'll teach you so you can make life adjustments going forward.  

When do I coach?  When my kiddos are in school from 7:45-3:00