Whine & Wine
By Jyl Barlow
Whine & WineApr 25, 2023
The Most Unqualified Stepmom Interview
Has it really only been a year since Jyl's best-selling memoir, What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting, hit bookshelves around the world? Kind of.
This book about the challenges of building a blended family has been scooped up by (step)moms worldwide as they've discovered that they are not alone. Jyl has appeared on podcasts in several countries, chatted with a few radio hosts, and even put on her lip gloss for a live television interview.
None of that was as terrifying as this month's episode of Whine & Wine in which Kathy takes the lead like a baby Barbara Walters.
To celebrate the release of What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting's audiobook (read by Jyl and her husband, Rich), Kathy finally got the interview she'd been begging for and she arrived with pages of notes.
Listen along in the first of a three-episode series as the Whine & Wine team dives into the world of blended families.
Want to check out the book first? Choose your media!
Buy What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting (Parenting Tales of the Most Unqualified (Step)Mom Ever) here.
***
Sneak Peek from the book? Sure:
The truth is, nobody dreams of marrying a man with an ex-wife and pre-made kids. The reality is, it happens anyway.
What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting is a memoir chronicling Jyl Barlow’s bumpy road to success as a (step)mother. Shared are the struggles of being inserted into an existing family that has yet to fully emerge from the emotional woodchipper of divorce. Jyl shares real-world lessons, not the mumbo-jumbo one can receive for the low price of a co-pay. If you are a (step)mom, if you are on the path to becoming a (step)mom, or if you know a (step)mom, this book will serve as a sanity saver, offering endless reassurance in knowing that you are not alone in your struggle to find stability.
This memoir is for the whole family, meant to be shared among husbands and mothers-in-law and (step)children and ex-wives. What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting offers readers a greater understanding of just how difficult it is for (step)mothers to dive headfirst into a role in which they are typically not welcome.
Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few.
Get to know us!
Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.”
Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and often overshares
What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target!
Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram. Watch videos of all our Nonsor products on YouTube or TikTok!
Wine & Whine is part of Bearlow Productions and is created Jyl Barlow and Kathy Crowley.
Zombie Closets
This month, your friends at Whine & Wine dive into the Zombie Closet. Added bonus? Yes, please! The master of preparation himself (and husband to your host), Rich Barlow joins the podcast.
How'd it go? Let's just say that before we were finished, Rich was ready to dig into the very back of our own Zombie Closet for that hidden box of wine. Do you know the difference between a prepper or a homesteader or a hoarder? We went to the Google!
Do you know the difference between Bugging In or Bugging Out? Kathy and Rich explain it all, shopping lists included.
Things we chatted about that can be added to your life with the click of a button:
The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Handbook by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
Amateur Radio License (need to use your BaoFeng)
One Second After by William Forstchen
One Year After by William Forstchen
And, of course, the most glorious Bug Out bag in the world, presented to us by our Nonsor, Stealth Angel Survival. Check out this page to find your new favorite bag.
This episode was not sponsored by Stealth Angel Survival, but I bet they wish they had!
***
Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few.
Get to know us!
Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.”
Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and often overshares
What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target!
Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram. Watch videos of all our Nonsor products on YouTube or TikTok!
Whine & Wine is part of Bearlow Productions and is created Jyl Barlow and Kathy Crowley.
New Year's Resolutions: We're Doing It Wrong
Ask a GenZ
As humans, we have more in common than we think we do.
Or, do we?
This month, our gift to you. We found a Gen Z'er willing to spend an hour with us answering all those mind-blogging questions that we've always wanted to ask. Or at least a few. Honestly, we were having so much fun that we might have gone on for hours if it weren't for my pesky date night.
What did we get into?
- Kathy finally put her foot down and gave a full explanation of which years cover which generations in an attempt to stop Jyl from misgenning all the time.
- The right way to say and drink Boba (turns out, we shouldn't be doing either).
- How the pandemic affected the Gen Z'ers vs how the Gen X'ers think it should have.
- What are Gen Z'ers passionate about?
- How did they make tattoos acceptable?
- Which socials are in and which are out?
- Why and how Gen Z'ers navigate so many communication portals.
- How the Gen Z talent of acceptance also causes some difficulties in handling conflict.
- My favorite? A day to rot. I took one yesterday so now I'm scrambling to get this episode posted.
Facts:
- The Greatest Generation: born 1901-1927
- Silent Generation: born 1928-1945
- Baby Boomers: born 1946-1964
- Generation X: born 1965-1979
- Millennials: born 1980-1994
- Generation Z: born 1995-2009
- Generation Alpha: born 2010 - 2024
Mentions:
- This episode was not sponsored by Wiggy, but be sure and mention us!
- Angus Barn (Hey, Van!)
- Boba, Poppers
- All the fillers (Botox, Juviderm)
- In the Flow by Alissa Vitti (be sure to grab this phenomenal book!)
Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few.
Get to know us!
Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.”
Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and often overshares
What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target!
Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram. Watch videos of all our Nonsor products on YouTube or TikTok!
Wine & Whine is part of Bearlow Productions and is created Jyl Barlow and Kathy Crowley.
Gratitude: 5 Things
This month, we take a deep dive into things we are grateful for. No, not the standard, canned response (“my family”) but even further down the path.
Want to find out what the people around you are truly grateful for? Ask for five bullet points and you will get past the “I have to say this” answer to learn what really moves them.
This episode was not sponsored by Marcus Uraan, the inventor of Ocean Spray Cranberry Sauce.
We went back and forth on our list of five items (we chose from either people or experiences) and learned some wonderful things about each other. Hopefully, you will as well. In no particular order:
Family: Okay, yes, still number one but also inclusive of those friends who become family and those wonky family members who may teach you by example (good or bad). We both listed this one first in case our family members only listen to the first five minutes.
Sports: We both chose sports, though for very different reasons. For Kathy, sports reeled her in and, she believes, likely kept her out of a lot of trouble. For Jyl, sports was all she knew about herself until a shoulder injury sent her in a different, even better direction.
The Pandemic: Really? No, really. A relationship saver in Jyl’s home.
Education: But not just the book kind. For Kathy, education means constantly creating opportunities for herself to evolve as a person.
Scouting: Kathy’s time in Girl Scouts shaped endless relationships including the one with her father. It was through her time as a scout that she quickly recognized the importance of female friendships.
Glimpses of God: For Jyl, this book by Michelle Peele was life-changing. Peele bravely shares the story of losing her teenage daughter and the moments prior that ended up mattering so much more than she ever would have imagined.
Travel: Getting outside your bubble may be the most important thing we can do for ourselves. A big plus? Finding out you are not (gasp!) the center of the universe.
The Person You Are Kind to Next: Whoa. Jyl may have gone a little deep on this one but, for her, it matters. In sports, we learn that you are only as good as your next swing or hit or landing. In life? You are how you act towards others and being kind is a huge character plus.
Mentions:
West Chester University’s Abbe Society
Maya Angelou, “When You Know Better, You Do Better”
Michelle Peele, Author of “Glimpses of God”
Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few.
Get to know us!
Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.”
Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and often overshares
What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target!
Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram. Watch videos of all our Nonsor products on YouTube or TikTok!
Wine & Whine is part of Bearlow Productions and is created Jyl Barlow and Kathy Crowley.
Adult Hobbies (not that kind)
This month, we dive into Adult Hobbies (not that kind)!
As many baby adults turn to young adults turn to seasoned adults, participation in extracurriculars drops as focus becomes, well, focused on work or maintaining a home or just about anything that is not optional.
Hello? This is a call to action. Get back out there and do something for you that is not at the demand of your employer or school district or roommate. Hobbies are incredibly important for our mental health, yet they are often the first thing dropped when we feel stretched too thin. Why, many of us don't even remember what we like to do in our free time.
Don't worry, we have endless suggestions that range from diamond art to Duolingo to naming the birds that frequent your feeder. Okay, maybe not all of them are good suggestions, but still.
Have you heard of the 5-Hobby Rule? According to some, we should have hobbies that meet each of these categories:
- One to make you money
- One to keep you in shape
- One to be creative
- One to build knowledge
- One to evolve your mindset
While we agree that the creators of this guideline have more free time than us, it does make some sense.
Today's Episode was not sponsored by Nippies! Nippies are the perfect way to keep your personal thermometers at bay.
Other mentions? Well, yeah, there were a few ... turns out we have a lot of hobby ideas:
Duolingo (celebrating Jyl's 1300th day in a row)
Michaels (check here for Diamond Art, Woodburning Kids, Paint by Number ... the list is endless)
***
Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few.
Get to know us!
Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.”
Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and often overshares
What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target!
Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram. Watch videos of all our Nonsor products on YouTube or TikTok!
Wine & Whine is part of Bearlow Productions and is created Jyl Barlow and Kathy Crowley.
The Meandering Homestead
Last month, we talked about The Meandering Career Path and how having a single job at the same company for the entirety of one’s life is incredibly rare. Today, we extend that zig-zag of a challenge into our homes, literally, as we chat about what it’s like to move one’s entire HOME to a new location.
Yes, a fresh start sounds wonderful but, by GAWD, it is terrifying.
We have both been on the UHaul end of one of those “start over somewhere else” decisions and thought it would be fun to share the things we learned along those dark, confusing and lonely treks.
Key thoughts?
Have a plan prior to packing. Are there clubs or organizations you can join? Get yourself on their radar before you say “So long!” to your old life. If you are opting for temporary housing until you can get on your feet–set a finish line. Know when you want to be on your feet and where those feet will be standing and stick to the goal.
As you settle in, take the road less traveled and do it without the benefit of your GPS. Really. The quickest way to feel comfortable in your new skin is to get lost - especially if it means asking a stranger for help. You will find most people are quite helpful and welcoming to the new kid in town.
Leave your house/apt/condo/tent. Leave it a lot. We have so many avoidance techniques at our fingertips but put them all away and get out in public. It may seem much more appealing to spend days on the couch catching up on Gilmore Girls but now is now the time to wallow under a blanket.
Embrace the Suck. This is true in many aspects of life, but especially in starting anew. It will suck. You will cry. You will feel lonely. You will feel like you will never be happy again. Embrace it all as, eventually, those feelings will be a thing of the past.
You are not alone. Ask. Really. Find yourself standing in a checkout line? Half of those in line with you were new to the area at some point. Be brave and ask.
This episode was not sponsored by Fly Away Products, providing the best alternative to swatting those picnic pests directly into your potato salad. Buy several! They make a great holiday present!
Mentions:
Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few.
Get to know us!
Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.”
Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and often overshares
What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target!
Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram. Watch videos of all our Nonsor products on YouTube or TikTok!
Wine & Whine is part of Bearlow Productions and is created Jyl Barlow and Kathy Crowley.
The Meandering Career Path
This month we dive into The Meandering Career Path, a topic at the top of our minds with so many companies offering workforce reductions and with grade schoolers being encouraged to map out an entire life of aspirations in kindergarten.
Did you know the average number of jobs held by most people throughout their lifetime is 12? Yeah, we didn't either ... yet here we are, nailing that number.
Listen as we chat about what really matters in your career path:
- Relationships
- Skill Sets
- Understanding that you are dispensable (and that's okay!)
- Using your benefits as a negotiation tool
- The ability to write an accurate obituary
- Trying to find that dang piece of cheese
How did two gals go from plans to be teachers to rambling in your ear? I'm not actually sure we ever got to that.
Special Shoutout to our friend, Karey Lamancusa who has worked for, um, one company her entire life.
If you do nothing else, watch this speech from North Carolina State University's May 2023 graduation ceremony. It is amazing.
To read more about Jyl's Dell Exit, click here.
Here's a link to Who Moved My Cheese?, a book that Kathy did recommend but a question that was never answered.
This episode was not sponsored by EZ EGGS Hard Boiled Egg Peeler and, really, Eggland's Best ... isn't it time you become a sponsor?
Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few.
Get to know us!
Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.”
Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and often overshares
What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target!
Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram. Watch videos of all our Nonsor products on YouTube or TikTok!
Wine & Whine is part of Bearlow Productions and is created Jyl Barlow and Kathy Crowley.
Vacation's All I Ever Wanted
Ask any Gen X'er (am I doing it right?) about there very first "real" job and you will likely hear how an $18,000 salary was enough for cartwheels. You will also hear how the added benefit of "Paid Vacation" turned those cartwheels into actual flips.
It's a big deal - that first time when someone is willing to PAY you to be away. Of course, we couldn't afford more than a trip to our parent's home, but still, PAID? It was a glorious time and also a time when companies stopped just short of demanding their employees take a dang break once a year.
Today? It's gotten quite blurry. Why? The multiple names changes? What was once vacation became Paid Time Off which became Personal Time Off which became Unlimited Time Off. Or is this the need for an endless list of colleagues to cover for your absence that, in reality, won't matter very much?
Another challenge? Not judging those who do use their vacation. You know what? Stop worrying about them and get something on your schedule.
Taking time off from most anything is important at some period, but work especially. As the saying goes - if you end the year with time off left on the table, you didn't do it right. As the other saying goes, no one ever wishes they worked more on their deathbed.
Okay, that got dark.
This episode was not sponsored by Javasok.
If cup condensation is not your thing, Javasok is! Hate reminding guests to use a coaster? Keep a fleet of Javasoks at the ready! Should it be called a cup condom? Um, yes.
Get your Javasok HERE.
Other fun things?
A Court of Thorns and Roses - is an amazing book (series) and if I would start reading before midnight it would probably stop landing on my face. Check out the author's page to purchase your copy: Sarah J. Maas.
Speaking of vacation, Kathy just returned from an amazing state at the Melia property in Punta Cana. If you go, make sure Julia is in charge of your glass. Don't forget your Javasok! Book HERE.
Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few.
Get to know us!
Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.”
Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and often overshares
What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target!
Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram. Watch videos of all our Nonsor products on YouTube or TikTok!
Wine & Whine is part of Bearlow Productions and is created Jyl Barlow and Kathy Crowley.
Boutique Farms: We Love Them.
In this month's episode, we head out to the farm to chat about our favorite InFarmlucers. Yes, it is a stroll through the socials and the boutique farms that are kidnapping our productivity. Why do we love them? Which ones are our personal favorites? Why did this show get away from us so quickly? Oh, because those cute little emus and piglets kidnapped our productivity right in the middle of recording. Admittedly, the sound is not up to our two-episode standard. Why? Look, Kathy was sick and had to mute a lot to do her coughing in private. And I am not an audio producer. Next time we are going to invite my husband to get us started. What could go wrong? Mentions: Eggstractor, the nonsor of this month's episode and from which we receive zero monies but still, who doesn't want perfectly peeled eggs? Knuckle Bump Farms, home of the very famous emu, Emmanuel Todd Lewis
Useless Farm, with Karen and her emu friends Matt Mathews, comedian and farmer Bayley the Mini-Sheepadoodle, this doggo is a Snoopy look-a-like Miss Jazzy Doodle, the only doggo currently pulling off pearls
Openly Gay Animals, because it's PRIDE month! The Iggy Family, Italian Greyhounds are now my weakness Texas Beeworks, I have so many questions for Erika and her ability to walk through clouds of bees. Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few. Get to know us! Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.” Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and often overshares What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target! Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram. Watch videos of all our Nonsor products on YouTube or TikTok! Whine & Wine is part of Bearlow Productions and is created Jyl Barlow and Kathy Crowley.
Figuring out Female Friendships
Welcome to Whine & Wine
- Why do female friendships often seem to take so much work?
- Are we doing this to ourselves with incorrect assumptions, over-scheduling, or putting too much weight on social media?
- Or, are we just expecting too much from each other?
If there is one thing that all women have in common, it is having to fight each and every day for something. Turning on each other in the midst of that fight is, well, not great.
Instead:
- What if we lifted each other up?
- What if we stopped examining our interactions with a magnifying glass?
We also chat about boundaries, permission to say "no," growth via accountability, and getting back to in-person moments.
Kathy's Thought for the Episode: You can straighten another woman's crown without telling everyone.
Take a trip down relationship lane with us on this episode of Whine & Whine.
Spoiler alert: This is an epiphany-free podcast.
Shout out to our Nonsor, Pampered Chef! Your three-in-one fly swatter circa a decade ago is still going strong! So strong that we'd like it re-introduced to your catalog. Please and thank you. Make sure you tweet @pamperedchef to get this beast back in production!
Can’t get enough of us? Well, you’re one of very few.
Get to know us!
Jyl Barlow has all things Jyl! Also, it’s pronounced, “jill.”
Which Way's Up is Jyl’s blog, home of weekly epiphanies and overshares.
What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting is Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother. Buy it online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and Target!
- Kathy Crowley's Thought for the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent) can be found on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok!
A Podcast in Progress
Did we just invite you to our planning meeting? Um. Yes.
Welcome to Whine & Wine - the "In Progress" episode.
When I printed my new business cards last year, I added "Podcaster" to my skill set in an effort to totally overshoot my abilities. I mean, it might have worked if:
a) I knew where the Podcast App was located
b) I knew anything at all about recording a podcast
c) I had a partner who knew anything at all about recording a podcast
Who better to engage than Kathy Crowley - a longtime friend who I had not spoken to in nearly a decade? Kathy Crowley - who also had no idea how to make a podcast. After a few months of "are we really doing this?" we opted to just push record and see what happened.
This podcast is what happened.
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Get to know Jyl and Kathy:
- Jyl Barlow
- Which Way's Up where Jyl offers weekly epiphanies and often overshares
- What to Expect When You Weren't Expecting Jyl's best-selling memoir about her hilarious struggles as a (step)mother
- Kathy Crowley's Thought of the Day (accessorized with a favorite timepiece and signature scent); Also found on YouTube and TikTok