beyond the SPECTRUM

These episodes with Mikey were the best! hehe I felt like I gained even more insight into his brain and was totally loving the continuation of our journey! I really hope that this helped people along the way - and even later, if people happen upon this podcast in the future!

Thanks for letting us share our family's heart with you!

We continue with the question and answer session, and will conclude tomorrow!   Enjoy!

Though we thought that our interview and Q&A portion of the podcast would only be 2 episodes - it ended up going for a bit more!!!  We were having too much fun and I hope that at least it offers you more insight and more opportunity to get to know Mikey!

Here is part 2, and more parts will be released each day for the next few days!

See you tomorrow!  Dreem (and Mikey!)

When I first heard this, I wasn't sure it was a compliment.  Did she mean that Mikey was arrogant?  full of himself?  or just the "most interesting person of the show". hehe  Being the mom, I had to flesh this out several times before I was OK with it.   The thing I love about it - and as you'll hear in this episode where FINALLY you get to hear from Mikey himself - is that... Mikey might indeed BE the main character - but... he doesn't think so himself.

He recognizes that well - in this case, the show is all about him, and the journey surrounding him.

But - there's a sweet and tender sort of shyness wrapped in humility that makes it all the more endearing.

Am I just a huge fan of Mikey?  Heck yeah. hehehe  Unashamedly so!!

What started off as 2 episodes quickly became  4!   I felt a little bit apologetic about making it take so long, until after the 3rd fifteen minute episode, Mikey said "Oh believe me, I know how fast 15 minutes goes when you're having fun."

Aw.  hehe

He was having fun!  LOL

So, I hope you enjoy this.  I really did !  And who knows - maybe there will be more in the future as little followups or updates... we'll see!

In the meantime, I really hope that whoever you are, wherever you are, this series has helped and hugged you!

❤️, Dreem

Music by our Mikey ❤

We are almost caught up to present time - and certainly you were expecting that I had all the answers and that we had figured out EVERYTHING in this journey.  Of course you surely shouldn't have! LOL  But this episode once again takes you through the practical application of all the things we've learned along the way.  It was pretty neat going back to some of the things that we shared from the very beginning that he struggled with - and we struggled with, only to have us STILL dealing with those same things, with a bit more insight, a lot more wisdom (hopefully) and an appreciation that we had been RIGHT  in how we handled it from the start!  What a refreshing feeling!!!

Not to say that we haven't continued to make mistakes - because if you've been following along, you know that we HAVE!  But - to know that in spite of the mistakes, we keep adjusting and fine-tuning and re-aligning ourselves with the right focus!  One more day to end my side of things, and then we'll hear from Mikey!  I had mentioned before if you have questions - to share... so, please do!  And if we get questions that are too late for the airing of the episode, then we might do a follow up episode, a week later as a little add-on.  But - we'll see what happens!

In the meantime, I hope you're ready to finish up this audio journey with us and I hope that it's been helpful!

 ❤, Dreem

Music by our Mikey ❤   Peer pressure never really ends.  It might even increase with time.  It's difficult to stay focused on your goals when you're being convinced that you're missing the mark, but sticking to your guns seems to be a lot more possible when you are surrounded and supported by family.  Listening to this episode, I was reminded that two very different children going through the same terrible experience came out on the other end, stronger, more refined and more capable - even though their journeys weren't very similar.  It's only been two years, but it felt like a lifetime to wade through those waters!  I'm sure that each family had their own stories to tell, and their own challenges to overcome!  I hope that as we are nearing the final end of this season as we approach 2023, you're reassuring one another that you can accomplish even more of what's ahead, as long as there is unity and love!   ❤, Dreem

Music by our Mikey, ❤️

You never know when those situations will pop up, but you need to be ready for those "aha moments". We have had plenty of them - some negative, some positive, but all learning experiences.

Today, I talk about the "magic ball".  This was one of those special memories that I'll never forget - because it was the day when something clicked, unlocked, and shifted our universe. 

I'm so thankful for these points of inspiration - and so thankful that God let me be alert enough to grab it when offered.  And even more thankful that Mikey was brave enough to change the narrative with me.  

I'm wondering what keys you've been given with your life.  Have you used them to unlock new worlds?  Would love to hear your victories!

❤️, Dreem

MUSIC BY OUR MIKEY, ❤️

Therapy comes in all forms.  

In this episode, we talk about the many therapists in our lives.  And maybe something that you never take the time to think about - but how your child on the spectrum is also an amazing therapist for YOU.

The things that we all learn together, and the way that we stretch one another - it's amazing how hand-picked we all were as that team.  Teachers, family, friends, official therapists - every person brought something to the equation. 

This is really not something that you want to miss - how all the puzzle pieces fit together.  It's a blessing, and they might come in the most unexpected forms - but recognize them!  Appreciate them.  Embrace them!

Hope that your team is ready to rally!

Cheering for you!

❤️, Dreem

MUSIC BY OUR MIKEY ❤️

The  word "normal"  - what in the world could be wrong with such a NORMAL word?

Well, maybe we are all just a bit too sensitive.  or maybe - just maybe, there are connotations to that word that go unchecked, unnoticed, until they have done their damage. 

Is there a better word?  Maybe. Maybe not.  Maybe the real issue lies with the hearts of people who turn words into weapons.  Maybe when we solve that problem, we can just allow words to be words again. 

I give my insight here on this topic, and encourage you to simply hear it, and make the best decision for you and your family.  I hope this video encourages you on your journey with autism - whether its in your own family or friend's family.  That you would grow in sensitivity and compassion, and hey... if that's not the norm?  

Then start to normalize... compassion :)  

Nothing but love for you,  

❤️, Dreem

Feel free to Gush!

Celebrating the little wins is a must - and gushing over the massive victories is a MUST.

I was in full nostalgia mode today, watching old videos and laughing with my daughter over her antics with her brother at 2 and 4, respectively.  I can't wait until I get to talk more about specifics of our family dynamics - but for now, I'll restrain myself!  

But as we watched some clips, I knew that I had to show this one.  I had about 50 photos selected to share over the course of this podcast, and some videos also - but then I hesitated.  It's hard to know what is for everyone and what is just for us.  But this video - I had to share, and you'll hear why in the podcast.

It wasn't just a win for Mikey and our family - it was him charging ahead and slaying the dragon while we sat in awe, beaming with joy and pride!

I'll not say anymore - but the video is a 2 minute extension of the podcast.  If you want to just see the video - and not listen to the podcast - go for it!    You'll lose some of the context, but maybe you're a "eat dessert before dinner" kind of person. haha  You have my blessing!

But if you're looking for a bit more of the meat behind the message, and more importantly WHY "the label" of autistic has pros and cons...  with boundaries to protect, and boundaries to push beyond... check out the podcast above FIRSTt!  I think it can maybe help you to get some ideas of what conversations need to be had by you and your family - for your household! 

All my love!

❤️, Dreem

https://youtu.be/jXvVCUdvOPA

MUSIC by our Mikey ❤️

I'm reminded about those movies where the devil tricks people into "getting exactly what they thought they wanted".  In those situations, it always seems like what appears to be the life you wanted - doesn't quite turn out that way.  

There were a lot of people who thought that i was "so lucky" to have a baby who didn't cry so often. Believe me - that comes with the lack of noise in the house!  But - when you think about the reason WHY it's so quiet, it's difficult to complain. 

And it's hard to explain.  

Because so many of your peers are struggling with sleepless nights (and yes, I've had my fair share of those with our other two crying infants lol)  and your house is blissfully quiet as you lay your pacified baby down in the crib for a peaceful night.  

So why is that so heart-breaking? 

I'll explore that in today's episode.  And if you are in this same position - this momma can relate to all your heartache.  I'm sending you love today and hugging your heart.  

❤️, Dreem

Feelings.

mmmm, feelings. hehe  

I just took a big sigh as I said that word in my mind, and felt all the feelings.  lol  Isn't it such a wonder to feel? to emote?  to LIVE through all the highs and lows, ups and downs, smiles and frowns?  I didn't mean to rhyme there - but when I did, I giggled.  And giggles.  Aren't they great?

Can you imagine what life would be like, living day to day disconnected from feeling? 

Now imagine that someone walked into your life and flipped the switch and ALL YOU COULD FEEL... was EVERYTHING. all at once.  boom! 

Could you cope?  manage?  Would you shrink in terror?  or would you wade through this messy new world, and sort it all out?  

Our boy chose to take our hands, and sort it out.  That's just a little peek into this episode. Come join :)

MUSIC by our Mikey :)

Today, I started to talk a bit more about some of the limitations that we experienced. Part of me hates saying that it was a limitation, because we've always had the mentality of "so what? we can overcome it!".

And that's great! that is fine!

But overcoming what? a limitation, right? lol

We don't have to be afraid of limitations, but we do need to honor them for what they are, where our "starting point " truly is, acknowledging the difficulties all around, and then, THEN we can move forward to the overcoming phase .

I'm saying this to all the parents out there, letting you know it's not limiting your child to acknowledge the limitations.  It's just having your eyes wide open to reality and refusing to sugar coat (and also refusing to succumb) if that makes sense.

Find the balance between the two.

I'm focusing today on one of Mikey's initial limitations with language and then giving you a little insight into what he was dealing with. His mind was incredibly powerful, and even the longer we fought and the more he learned, the more I was impressed with his amazing memory.

Each word and phrase had less contextual meaning and more call/repeat words,phrases and sentences he had to file away in his memory and recall as needed. There were times I could tell he didn't understand the context, but he has memorized that THAT is what the answer he was supposed to give for that question.

When you think about that, and how you have to teach a new phrase for every possible sentence he can encounter,. you can easily see how overwhelming it can become as a parent.  HOW is it possible to teach every combination of sentences? They change with even the slightest word combination. He would understand "how are you?" but when someone said "how are you doing?" it changed enough that he thought the response would change.

"Doing?", he would say.

I would have to tell him, they're just asking how are you, to which Mikey would reply ,"oh ok. good."

And now, "how are you" and "how are you doing", was filed under "response = good"

Then someone would ask, "how's it going?"

Again, I would clarify what this means....it's just another way of saying "how are you", or "how are you doing".

"oh ok, good." (and once again...filed under....)

Add in "what's up?" and "what's going on?" and  so on.

And that's just for "how are you".  Think of all the idioms in our language. Think of slang. Think of every possible combination that happens when we understand the context and pick up on social cues and extrapolate - but think now about someone who has difficulty generalizing one thing into many.

But now be amazed....think if YOU had to walk through life filing away thousands of questions and answers and learn this language piece by piece. You might say "well I did! I was a child and don't we all learn that way?"

well no...heheh we all don't.

Some have wires crossed and need to have them uncrossed before they can. And while Mikey was working to get them uncrossed, we were all watching in awe. I thought his mind was amazing... frustrating ,at times! but.... simply incredible!  We saw a warrior inside that little boy, and we were right.

I go into a few other examples in the podcast, and because I don't want these episodes to go too long, I am limiting as much as I can to give you an overview.  Hopefully, it's enough to give you a peek and if you have more questions, feel free to ask and I'll be happy to try my best to answer!

Thanks for connecting!

, Dreem

Background music: by our Mikey 😍  

One thing that's common for all families with special needs- the emotional rollercoaster that doesn't seem to end. Each person is dealing with different burdens at different times and just when one person seems to understand what you're experiencing, you descend into a new deluge of fears and feelings.

It can be frustrating to constantly feel these shifts, but they do start to fluctuate less often and your family will begin to settle into a more fixed and stable season.   

Be patient, and hold on. Recognize Each little victory and celebrate them- you need to pause and cheer for those times, to remind yourselves that you ARE making progress. Set up little alarms on your phone once a week, once a month...to catalog the things you've achieved. Document the journey as best as you can so the accomplishments aren't forgotten

You'll be surprised - a year from now, go back and read that some of your fears are long gone, and you didn't even notice those milestones when they arrived!   It's a lot like being in chronic pain. When you're used to being at a level 9 on the pain scale- you might not notice a drop from 9 to 8.5, and then 8.25 to 8, etc.  

But a year later when you're at a constant 5- celebrate!!!

Cheer your family on too! Make it a point of praising each member for what they're doing, how they're coping. Stick together! You'll have so many forces driving wedges between you that you need to cling to one another and cheer when you can. It makes a HUGE difference. Eliminate as much toxicity surrounding you as possible, and make no justification for it. Your family's success is all the justification you need. Surround yourself with people who love and support and help. They will be help in your worst times of need.

I'm cheering for you 🤗

❤️️, Dreem

Pat Benatar knew what she was singing about when she told us that love was a battlefield. Sometimes the battle can be infinitely more difficult when its in your home, especially when your home is viewed as your safe space. When the conflict enters that demilitarized zone - it's disconcerting, makes us feel vulnerable, and heightens all the overblown emotions. The back of that poor camel can't take one more straw, and yet - a whole pallet of straws comes crashing down, crushing its spine. I've been there. I've felt it. but we conquered it, and you can too.

This episode was really wild - revisiting those memories. It's all good feelings on this side though! Observing those extra-fragile moments from this side of victory! I just took the deepest breath, being so thankful to God that He brought us through it. And I hope that if you're going through it now, you can relate and also take a deep breath and realize you CAN make it through this too. But it will take some stretching, some compromise, some understanding, a lot of love and patience and prayer!

If you're IN THE MIDST of this struggle right now while you're listening to this podcast, BREATHE, then... breathe again :) I feel your pain, and I know you want to be heard and be understood. But before you push through to having your own voice heard - try some of the tips I give in this podcast. You need allies in this war. Link arms before heading off to battle!

All my love!
❤️, Dreem

This episode brought me right back to the beginning, as if the year was 2000 - and I'm flabbergasted that this little boy from my memories is now a grown young man that towers over me and kisses me on top of my head, telling me that "I'm cute". hehehe  It feels like this journey began yesterday, but at the same time feels very much like a lifetime ago.  I love - absolutely LOVE - where we are now.  But in order to get here, we had to start at the beginning and fight for all the victories, together as a family.  

I'm so glad that I get to share this with you.  It lets me remember and relive those precious moments and makes me also feel relieved that the hardest parts are behind us. Thank you for those who have been commenting and connecting so far - I hope that the little things I share helps you with the situations you find yourself in also.  Whether family member, friend - or even if you find yourselves in situations with strangers!  I hope that our journey gives you fresh perspective, hearts filled with compassion and understanding, and maybe even some tips that can come in handy too.

Thank you so much for coming, and being willing to be impacted!  Feel free to leave questions, comments or encouragement!  I'll try my best to get to all comments!

This is a bit of background to introduce you to our family before diving in!

MUSIC: original creation by our Mikey, especially for this podcast!

A podcast about our family's journey with autism: our successes, failures, expectations, fears, hopes and dreams. You're invited to share in this ongoing journey with us ♥️. Hope it helps and blesses!

Music: Hope

Musician: ILYA MARFIN

URL: https://icons8.com/music