Soul Salon with Ayandastood
By Ayandastood
Soul Salon with AyandastoodAug 28, 2023
46: you have these gifts for a reason 💛
If you are feeling unmotivated or uninspired, if you are stuck minimizing and hiding from your natural gifts, this episode is for YOU. You have these gifts for a REASON.
This episode will get you fired up, calling you back into your power and ACTIVATING you to be brave in the face of the fear we all experience as we face our goals and dreams. You are someone’s cheat code.
You are here to UNLOCK something powerful in the collective. NOT keep your gifts to yourself, hiding and playing small when you know that there is something bigger calling you, longing for you just as much as you long for it.
You are not here to be silent and convenient for the status quo or those who don’t support you. You are an EXPANDER. You are here to break rules and break the mould that has been given to you, to truly make it your own, and to support the collective in our collective healing journey.
What if: you have these gifts for a reason. And the reason is NOT simply your own self-actualization, but the realization of more love, healing, community, creativity (insert what you are here to help cause) for ALL of us. We need you in your power, bestie! We love you. I love you.
Time stamps:
(00:49): Collective consciousness
(03:18): Who does it serve?
(04:42): There’s a reason
(06:11): Ego vs. Soul
(10:00): Creative Power
(13:50): Soul resonance
(15:44): You are the cheat code
(18:04): Two choices in the face of fear
Book a one-on-one coaching session with me to support your creativity and unlock your next level of brave expression: www.ayandastood.com/coaching
Sources mentioned:
Essay: Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference by Audre Lorde (in the book Sister Outsider)
Book: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
Quote: “We’re all just walking each other home” — Ram Dass
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
Work with me 1:1 www.ayandastood.com/coaching
I hope you enjoy today’s soul session. stay tuned for more, and share it with a friend 💛
45: there'll always be more to say 🌻💛 | perfectionism & creativity
hi precious beings! if you're battling with perfectionism, this episode is for you. earth angel, consider this your permission slip to declare your unfinished work FINISHED because completion is a myth maybe?! find out... i love you all, thank you thank you for being here!
I hope you enjoy today’s soul session. stay tuned for more, and share it with a friend 💛
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
Work with me one-on-one in coaching to unlock your authentic expression and face your fear of being seen online: www.ayandastood.com/coaching
44: collectivist vs. individualist dreams
if you dream of writing, there are people dreaming of reading you.
if you dream of singing, there are people dreaming of hearing you.
if you dream of being seen, there are people dreaming of seeing you.
if you dream of teaching, there are students dreaming of being taught by you.
your dreams are dreaming you back. even more: the collective is dreaming THROUGH YOU. Question for you: Who might be dreaming you back?
book a one-on-one coaching session to step into your fullest expression and power, on- and offline: www.ayandastood.com/coaching
Time stamps:
(00:35): Individualistic vs. collectivist dreams
(02:02): Example of my (our!) podcast dream
(03:09): Who will expand through you?
(05:11): Against perfectionism
(06:37): You are a representative
(07:41): The other side of desire
(08:05): What you seek is seeking you
(08:26): The beauty of surrender
(09:24): Please follow & subscribe :)
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
Work with me 1:1 www.ayandastood.com/coaching
43: become the energy you crave (or envy)
today i bring you a bite size dose of ENERGY I recorded in December but felt wasn't "good enough" at the time. in honor of breaking up with perfectionism, i bring you this offering. let's call it a SOUL SNACK if you will.
topics include: envying someone's success, listening to yourself, embodying what you seek, and the energetic messages of the universe. i love you, sunshines & soul siblings!
i hope you enjoy this experience. stay tuned for more, and share it with a friend if you resonate 💛
TIME STAMPS:
(00:51): Are you listening?
(01:38): Reframing envy
(05:50): Who I'm drawn to
(06:33): Energy is a spectrum
(07:09): Collective healing
(09:55): Unity consciousness
(10:23): What are you calling in?
Work with me one-on-one in coaching to unlock your authentic expression and face your fear of being seen online: www.ayandastood.com/coaching
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
Work with me 1:1 www.ayandastood.com/coaching
42: what if the opposite is true?
if you are a worst case scenario thinker/feeler/(anti-)dreamer, this soul session✨ is for you. let's unpack why it's time to let go of assuming the worst — not only in terms of what's possible, but also in our relationships and friendships.
in this soul session, i share examples of times when i assumed the worst and the exact opposite happened. i invite us to ask ourselves this question the NEXT time we find ourselves stuck in a worst case scenario mindset. you will (re)learn how holding onto the worst case scenario to protect ourselves becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: we align our actions to what could go WRONG instead of RIGHT, thereby making the former more likely.
you will hear me walk through common examples where we assume the worst and are often "wrong", such as:
- assuming strangers don't want to talk to us...
- assuming old friends don't want to hear from us...
- assuming everyone online will certainly HATE or cancel us...
- assuming conflict will RUIN our relationships/friendships... and more!!
let me say that i applied the lesson of this episode in the PROCESS of making, editing, and sharing it. here's how:
my inner critic said (repeatedly): "what i'm saying is nothing ✨revolutionary✨ therefore it's not worth sharing this episode". or "i'm not adding anything new here!"
the underlying assumption is A) we get our value from our uniqueness (individualism) and B) no one wants to hear and re-integrate the same lesson again from ME specifically.
WHAT IF THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE? A) What if collective wisdom becomes more potent the more people share it? and B) What if people actually LOVE hearing and re-integrating wisdom they already know and feel to be true, and they love hearing it from ME (not exclusively but in a particular way)
i love the feeling of applying a lesson i am sharing with you, because it makes me feel very aligned and like i'm sharing my life's wisdom with you. with that being said, I hope you enjoy today’s soul session. stay tuned for more, and share it with a friend 💛
Time stamps:
(01:00): Reframe the worst case scenario
(05:11): The energetics of possibility
(06:33): Creativity & Rick Rubin
(07:37): Approaching strangers
(08:08): TikTok, cancellation, & judgment
(14:00): Texting responses
(15:19): Cancelling plans
(17:22): Conflict
(19:07): Reaching out to old friends
(20:12): It's always going to be this hard
(20:48): Valuing your opinion
(22:33): Self-doubt
(23:38): Summary
Work with me one-on-one in coaching to unlock your authentic expression and face your fear of being seen online: www.ayandastood.com/coaching
SOURCES:
Book: The Creative ACT: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
Episode: 35: Awakening to Possibility by me
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
Work with me 1:1 www.ayandastood.com/coaching
41: pro-mote your work
if you find it cringe or challenging to promote your own work, this soul session will SPEAK to you. today we completely REFRAME AND RECLAIM promotion, breaking it down to its roots and paradigm shifting our understanding. connected to nature and service. In this episode you will learn:
- Why self-promotion feels so uncomfy
- How we can reframe “pro-motion” by breaking it down
- Why pro-motion is key to nature
- How refusing to promote our work can block other people's expansion
- My current experience with fearing promoting my coaching services
Time stamps:
(01:04): the evolutionary roots of our shame
(03:42): reframing pro-motion
(08:06): nature & motion
(10:45): my own example of coaching
(16:00): blocking motion
(17:43): what you seek is seeking you
I hope you enjoy today’s soul session. stay tuned for more, and share it with a friend
Work with me one-on-one in coaching to unlock your authentic expression and face your fear of being seen online: www.ayandastood.com/coaching
Sources mentioned:
Morning pages essay by me
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
Work with me 1:1 www.ayandastood.com/coaching
40: the fear of success
today's soul session is a spiritual perspective on why you fear your own success.
if you're like me, you are both drawn to and repelled by your dreams. they are at once enticing and terrifying. in today’s soul session we explore a paradoxical fear that many of us face whenever we confront our dreams and desires. but in the typical style of this podcast, we are going to unfold a deep and spiralling web of ideas such as:
- What do God/source/the universe have to do with the fear of success?
- Why do we associate power to evil?
- How can we separate toxic/destructive examples of power from loving/constructive versions of it?
- Why is nature the answer to reclaiming our power? AND...
- My own experience with cultural grief and shame
I hope you enjoy today’s soul session. stay tuned for more, and if you feel called to, please share it with a friend or your community. i love you ✨💛
Work with me one-on-one as your coach to unlock your authentic expression and face your fear of being seen online: www.ayandastood.com/coaching
Time stamps:
(00:06): The magic of your existence
(01:53): My fears & dreams
(05:11): The paradox of fear
(06:22): God/source/universe & AWE
(12:57): Why we fear our Dreams
(14:17): Healing our relationship with Power
(17:37): Nature & benevolent Power
(21:15): Step into Y(OUR) Power
(22:29): Co-Creation
(27:52): Channeled journaling
(30:00): Why we can't silence ourselves
(31:35): It's bigger than You
(33:10): You have these gifts for a REASON
(35:54): Trust is the opposite of Fear
(36:15): Your own POWER & WISDOM
(40:31): Creativity is how we change the world
(42:21): Affirmation
Sources mentioned:
The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action by Audre Lorde
Ant geopolitics by John Whitfield
ADVICE HOTLINE:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
Work with me 1:1 www.ayandastood.com/coaching
39: the wisdom of feeling lost
in today’s episode we talk about the deep state of consciousness that being LOST entails, rather than the inferior state it represents in the western imagination. I frame this in terms of colonial consciousness which privileges "clarity, direction, Knowing, confidence" vs. the deeper truth of the universe, nature, and indigenous consciousness, which embrace chaos, magic, cyclical time, and humility in the face of the unknown and unknowability of all truths of the universe. At the same time, I am sending love as I know being lost feels deeply uncomfortable and isolating. An update episode on the name change is coming soon angels!
WORK WITH ME:
Pov: you are a spiritual soul with a powerful voice and message that you dream of sharing with the world. You are here to serve the collective and the divine through the gift of your voice and ability to channel wisdom and insights. When it comes to sharing that voice on social media to find your dream audience, community, and clients, you often feel blocked by perfectionism, fear of judgment & being cancelled, self-doubt, and lack of trust in your voice. You want to quantum leap into the version of you that is taking up SPACE, speaking your truth, and opening up your throat chakra. Work with me one-on-one and let’s get your voice shared with the world. Visit www.ayandastood.com/coaching
TIMESTAMPS
(01:15): Western imagination
(06:26): What we gain from being lost
(12:30): Birth and Death in life
(17:50): Lost in isolation
(19:30): The God of the Self
(22:18): Finding teachers & surrendering
(24:30): Spiritual awakening
(32:08): The universe is always inviting us
SOURCES MENTIONED:
Essay: Heavy, difficult emotions are important to face & only overwhelming when carried alone by Dr. Ayesha Khan
Book: The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts
Substack: The Unpublishable by Jessica DeFino
Podcast: The Highest Self Podcast by Sahara Rose
Episode: 16: Industrialized vs. spiritual Beauty by me
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
JOIN THE COMMUNITY:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
38: how to overcome the fear of being CRINGE on social media
we are becoming FEAR ALCHEMISTS in 2024. hi darlings! in this episode I am giving a MasterClass on moving through and BEYOND the fear of being cringe/embarrassing/shameful online. this is a deep wound that many of us carry: fear of being cancelled, ridiculed, dragged, rejected, or criticized. it stops us from sharing ourselves, promoting our work, art, and services, and opening ourselves up to the LOVING POSSIBILITIES that exist for us through the global portal that is the internet.
i have faced this pain (both the fear and the experience) and sat with it and soothed and nurtured, it still lives in me but it is now in a place where i can alchemize it into wisdom, grounded in a collective understanding of creativity and healing. so i wanted to speak to this pain and give us some mindset and perspective shifts on how we can TRANSFORM the fear of being cringe into posting through the fear and embarrassment, with love for ourselves and for the people seeking our voices, art, services, and perspectives.
Affirmation: THE WORLD NEEDS Y(OUR) VOICE/ART/GIFTS/CREATIONS JUST! AS! THEY! ARE!
☎️ seeking advice and want to phone in with a question? submit a voicemail here
OR write-in an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Time stamps
(01:16): Validate
(07:04): Neutralize
(16:18): Connect
(27:51): Serve
(42:33): Zoom out
(49:35): Desire
(51:20): Summary
Work with Me:
Work with me one-on-one: https://ayandastood.com/work
Information on my Creative Fear MasterClass dropping mid Feb will be updated here: https://ayandastood.com
Sources mentioned:
The Creative ACT: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
Join the community:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
37: inviting ease and pleasure into the creative process
in this episode we are calling in ease, flow, pleasure, and love in the experience of creating, rather than as a reward. i talk about releasing the tension i've been carrying, the love i am feeling from all of YOU, the magical masterclass experience I had this Sunday with some of you, and end off with reflective questions that can assist us as we create with more pleasure and ease in 2024.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Key quotes from episode:
“The people you make art for don’t want you to suffer”
“We embody the codes that we’ve learned from the systems that made us”
“The invitation for you is knowing that you are worthy of ease, of pleasure, of flow. NOW. Not when the project is done.”
“Pleasure is a measure of our freedom” — adrienne maree brown
Time stamps
(01:31): MasterClass reflections
(05:15): The Love Dimension
(05:56): From perfectionism to ease
(15:00): Your invitation to ease
(20:39) Experimentation
(22:53): Tension & release
(30:44): Pleasure activism by Adrienne Maree Brown
(41:47): Abundant love
(48:44): Pleasure & imagination
(54:27): Reflection questions
(01:00:00): Gratitude & affirmation
Sources mentioned:
Book: Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by adrienne maree brown
Essay: What Plants Are Saying About Us
YouTube Channel: Sadhguru
Show: The Brothers Sun on Netflix
Poem: I Put The Coffin Out To Sea by by Lisa Marie Basile
Offering: My MasterClass experience
Other resources:
YouTube: The Perfect Bedtime Sound bath by Sleeping Vibrations
YouTube: Yoga Nidra
Questions to reflect on:
- What would make me feel more loved right now?
- What pleasure are you denying yourself of in this moment?
- How could it be easier? How can I find the release without taking on the tension?
- How can you EMBODY the wisdom of ease, pleasure, rest?
- How can we be Pleasure Activists for others in our lives?
- If you become your fullest expansion creatively — what could that unlock for the collective?
Join the community:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
Other quotes from me in this episode:
- “Love can flow through us much more easily if we choose to channel that love through the notion that we are worthy of ease; we are worthy of pleasure. We don’t only get to celebrate ourselves once the job is done. We don’t have to squeeze our creativity into the constrictive structures, rigidity, and hierarchies we’ve been given”
- “If you become your fullest expansion creatively — what could that unlock for the collective? If we all expand, expansion is contagious. Expansion is something we are designed to give and receive from one another. I cannot listen to an expanded person and not expand. That is the nature of art: Art that is expansive will expand. And the Artist that is expansive and expanding will create expansive art. What are we willing to expand into for the sake of collective healing, collective imagination, collective pleasure, and collective ease?”
- “If we want to experience work that feels more free, we also need to become the kind of person who can experience more freedom while working”
- “If we let life surprise us, sometimes the part we fear most is exactly where we experience the most magic”
- “In this moment, what I am really calling in, what I am inviting myself into ease. Pleasure. Flow. The words that came to my heart are: The people you make art for don’t want you to suffer”
- “The thing about toxic perfectionism is it’s a self-worth invitation. We don’t feel WORTHY of imperfect action. We know what the steps that imperfect action would ask us to take, but we don’t feel worthy of taking them.”
- “Love is unfolding for you in this moment”
36: celebrate your soul’s garden, just as it is
in this episode we honor the garden of your soul AS IT IS rather than focusing on the seeds you will plant this year. we remember you’re whole as you are. you’re complete as you are. you're divine as you are.
i expand on this metaphor, inviting you to reflect on the different seeds, plants, flowers, trees, and beings within your soul’s garden and the role you play in that of other people. I also discuss my struggles with cultivating soil of self-compassion within my soul's garden — including in the creation of this episode. i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Time stamps
(02:25): My word for 2024
(05:00): Your soul garden
(09:11): Eternal seeking
(11:40): What role do you play?
(15:17): Non-linear time
(18:36): My soul garden
(25:11): Celebrating you
(30:29): Nature is always complete
Join the community:
my muse-letter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
visit my website at www.ayandastood.com
35: awakening to possibility 🌻
today’s episode is all about embracing POSSIBILITY as an abundant energy that can unlock itself even further. possibility, and moving through the world with the openness, expansiveness and abundance mindset it invites us into, is a beautiful self-fulfilling prophecy. unfortunately, impossibility works the same way.
i discuss some of the ways the energy of possibility has affected my friendships, and unpack four related areas full of possibilities: conflict, romantic relationships, creativity, and social change. we also get into other things (like we always do) such as soulnliness vs. resonating with the people around you, delusion, wholeness, and more.
if you are calling in more possibilities at this stage of your life — this episode is for you.
I also share an exciting announcement in this episode about a special opportunity to work with me 1:1 through my creative coaching container, launching in January 2024. Stay tuned for more details in the coming weeks. 👀🤎
i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love. 🤎
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Time stamps
(01:43): Soulnliness
(05:27): Possibility & fiendship
(16:50): Possibility & conflict
(23:17): Possibility & romantic relationships
(30:16): Possibility & creativity (see episode 24)
(31:31): Special announcement
(34:17): Possibility & social change
(39:44): Wrap up & summary
“Possibility is an energetic frequency we can all tap into”
“There’s an amazing reclamation of Delusion on the internet — but let it not just be delusion for our own individualistic hopes, dreams and desires to manifest our own will. Let it also be a delusion we embrace to fuel our collective dreams — the delusion to believe we can end systems of oppression, the delusion to believe we can return to community with each other and with the earth, the delusion and confidence to insist that — in the words of Arundhati Roy — another world is not only possible, though some of us may never get to see her, she is on her way.”
“We deserve people around us that make us feel more possible.”
“It always seems impossible until it’s done” — Nelson Mandela
“Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. Maybe many of us won't be here to greet her, but on a quiet day, if I listen very carefully, I can hear her breathing.” — Arundhati Roy
“ I refuse the prison of “I” and choose the open spaces of “we.”” — Toni Morrison,The Source of Self-Regar
“Assuming other people and opportunities will reject us is a self-fulfilling prophecy: in order to protect ourselves from rejection, we end up rejecting ourselves. We reject ourselves from the possibilities of love, fulfillment, aliveness.”
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
Sources mentioned:
Book: The Source of Self-Regard by Toni Morrison (https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-source-of-self-regard-selected-essays-speeches-and-meditations-toni-morrison/9585719?ean=9780525562795)
Book: Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World by Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo (https://bookshop.org/p/books/sensitive-the-hidden-power-of-the-highly-sensitive-person-in-a-loud-fast-too-much-world-jenn-granneman/18547944?ean=9780593235010)
Speech: Come September by Arundhati Roy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hVfjW81gGg)
Episode (mine): 24: Let it Become (https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ez2vp4qp73hdB9PfJ5Yaa?si=a64d1b5353854463)
Join the community:
my newsletter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG and @ayandastood on YouTube
every Sunday: Join showing up together, a virtual working session every Sunday on Zoom from 9am-12pm EST.
34: beauty as alienation from the self 👽
if toxic, eurocentric beauty standards won’t let you rest: this episode is for you. i made a tiktok (620K views) about this idea in June that people resonated with, and so I decided to make an episode about it. let’s unpack how Beauty is a form of alienation from ourselves — and from each other. i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love. 🤎
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Key quotes:
“I believe there’s a world in which we see each other as Divine Beings that cannot be flattened into a toxic Eurocentric, colonial, elitist, ableist beauty standard that is always and already going to dehumanize us and remove us from the ability to experience ourselves and each other as Love.”
“Beauty dislocates you from being able to claim yourself in the present tense”
Time stamps
(02:48): What is alienation?
(05:07): Beauty as a distorted mirror
(12:32): Beauty and Time
(15:48): Intra-community Beauty standards
(19:43): Mirrors and Love
(25:50): The relentless pursuit and pressure of Beauty
(27:17): 3D vs 5D consciousness
(32:01): Why I struggled with this episode
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
Sources mentioned:
TikToks: On beauty as alienation by me Video 1 (https://www.tiktok.com/@ayandastood/video/7249132796822752518) and Video 2 (https://www.tiktok.com/@ayandastood/video/7249137595135872261)
Essay: Estranged Labour, 1844 by Karl Marx (https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1844/manuscripts/labour.htm)
Related episodes
Industrialized vs. Spiritual Beauty (Idea via Jessica DeFino)
Beautiful Lies Ft. Kalpana Mohanty
Moving toward Ugliness Ft. Mia Mingus
Read my hand-written essay on Breaking the Colonial Paradigm of Beauty
Other key quotes:
“We can be so much more if we dismantle the Beauty hierarchy”
“Beauty robs you of your sense of self in two ways: Number 1, it equates who you are with how you look according to a toxic, Eurocentric beauty standard. Your “ideal self” is someone who looks a certain way, rather than someone who is a certain Being — which you already are. Number 2: you are always relegated to being worse than your ideal future self, so then when are you ever allowed to exist and to claim yourself? As you grow older and age, people say you don’t look yourself. If you gain weight, people say you don’t look yourself. If you lose weight, you are meant to “feel more yourself than ever”. So then who are you? Surely you always look yourself? No, because Beauty is the alienation of the self from the self”
“A world with more radical love, rooted in an anti-colonial understanding of life, HAS TO dismantle the beauty hierarchy, and replace it with a deep love and awe for people as people, rather than value people based on their ability or inability to conform to toxic Eurocentric beauty standards”
“You are a multi-dimensional being who, through Beauty and other oppressive structures, is forced to conceive of yourself as a one-dimensional self”
“Beauty dislocates you from being able to claim yourself in the present tense”
“We will always be alienated from ourselves when we are made to feel unloveable because of a standard that has been imposed on us, one that deeply limits how we then come to understand, experience, and make sense of ourselves and each other”
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33: 7 reasons why you're irreducible (Ask ChatGPT✨)
many of us feel plagued by a deep-seated unworthiness ingrained in us by society and culture. at a fundamental level, we are convinced there is a lot wrong with us. part of this suffering comes from a society that reduces us to the level of its own distorted and violent view of reality, rooted in colonial and capitalist imaginations.
in today's part 2 of our conversation on our infinite worth and power, I asked ChatGPT: why are we irreducible to any one given aspect of our lives? Here are my 7 favorite reasons it came up with, and my reflections on each. if you haven’t watched part 1, you can do so here. i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love. 🤎
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
Key quotes from episode:
"You are the universe experiencing itself"
“We are multi-dimensional beings often forced to live a one-dimensional reality”
Time stamps
(00:00): Soul check-in
(11:48): Reason 1: Cosmic identity
(19:50): Reason 2: Inherent divinity
(23:57): Reason 3: Interconnected being
(26:47): Reason 4: Multi-dimensionality
(27:40): Reason 5: Capacity for growth
(30:16): Reason 6: Unique experiences
(33:52: Reason 7: Capacity for empathy
(37:39): Summary of 7 lessons
Sources mentioned:
Episode: 32: you are irreducible by me (https://open.spotify.com/episode/0aARoL7F45K4tXoGBPtOxz?si=70d922c02375459b)
Podcast: The Science of Setting & Achieving Goals by Huberman Lab Podcast (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1F7EEGPQwo)
Article: The Buddhist philosophy of Anatta (https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Anatta)
Article: Nondualism: A brief history of a timeless concept by SAND (https://scienceandnonduality.com/article/nondualism-a-brief-history-of-a-timeless-concept/)
Book: You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy (https://bookshop.org/p/books/you-re-not-listening-what-you-re-missing-and-why-it-matters-kate-murphy/6985911?ean=9781250779878)
Book: You Are the Universe: Discovering Your Cosmic Self and Why It Matters by Deepak Chopra and Menas C. Kafatos (https://bookshop.org/p/books/you-are-the-universe-discovering-your-cosmic-self-and-why-it-matters-deepak-chopra/9794035?ean=9780307889157)
🎵 BACKGROUND MUSIC: Sleeping Vibrations: Inner Abundance Sound Bath (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPpJ1GOt4_c)
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32: you are irreducible: why you are an infinite, interconnected, cosmic being and cannot be reduced to ANYTHING
we all face a deep unworthiness and are convinced there is something (or a lot) fundamentally wrong with us. this episode unpacks why you can’t be reduced to any one given aspect of your being or experience, or what society projects onto you and you in turn internalize as your own (eg, Beauty according to the colonial paradigm). you are infinite, complex, and multi-dimensional. you are love. you are divine. you are a multidimensional being forced to over identify with a one-dimensional identity that will reproduce the social order.
you are not your productivity, your job, your social status, your “success”. you are not your failures, regrets, or mistakes. you are not the chapter of life that you are currently in. you are not what you fixate on about yourself. what if you are love? what if you are more complex, deep, layered, and awe-inspiring than the reality you've been given will ever let you see or understand?
i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
Key quotes from episode:
“You are irreducible. You cannot be reduced to anything. You cannot be reduced to what the society has defined as deficient in you."
"I cannot be counted. I cannot be measured. There is no way to take a Being, who has a lineage, millions of cells conspiring to keep them alive, and quantify their existence. That is the colonizer's way."
"We become reduced to what society wants us to think about ourselves, because as long as we carry shame within us, we are less likely to demand anything from the social structures that surround us. Because we believe WE are the ones to blame for our own deficiencies, and we take that out on one another"
Time stamps
(06:22): You are irreducible
(08:20): Social media and quantification of self
(14:50): Society's mis-education
(16:55): Everything is a mirror
(26:19): Reduction, blame and alienation
(30:07): You are love
(40:37): 7 ways you are infinite
(45:12): Spotify Interact
(48:54): Rumi poem
Sources mentioned:
Poem: A gift to bring you by Rumi
Book: You Are the Universe: Discovering Your Cosmic Self and Why It Matters by Deepak Chopra
Quotes: Quotes on the nature of love by A. H. Almaas
Essay: Marx on Alienation by Dan Lowe
Background music: Sleeping Vibrations: Inner Abundance Sound Bath
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31: the paradox of being sensitive — part 1: creativity 📝🎥🎨🥹
if you’ve ever felt that the same sensitivity that makes you drawn to creative work also makes you TERRIFIED of starting, finishing or sharing yours — this episode is for you.
the irony of this episode is more than i can express to you — throughout this process i faced so much shame, fear and avoidance (particularly in the editing phase). i feel there’s so much more to say and so much i wish i had said differently. but i'm telling myself that my inner critic is a LIAR, and & i'm choosing to let it be.
thank you today and always for being here on this journey with me. i hope that you receive my offering, and i hope my words take the shape of some of your wounds today.i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Video available on Spotify and YouTube.
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
Key quotes from episode:
“Our sensitivity can be the water that hydrates and nourishes our creativity, or the water that drowns it.”
Sources mentioned:
Book: Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World by Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo
Poem: Why Bother? By Sean Thomas Dougherty
Book: The Creative ACT: A way of Being by Rick Rubin
Essay: The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action by Audre Lorde
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30: free Congo 🇨🇩🤎 — overview, book (Cobalt Red 📚) & how we can help
Congo is currently undergoing a silent genocide. We are lifting our voices for the people of DRC. This episode is my imperfect attempt to amplify the ongoing situation in Congo, and share the 5 greatest lessons I learned from a book I read in light of the moment we are in called Cobalt Red: How the Blood of the Congo Powers Our Lives by Siddharth Kara.
In this episode, I also read an overview of what’s happening in the Northern Kivu regions where militia groups are massacring, exploiting, and sexually assaulting Congolese people. Free Congo, Free Sudan, Free Palestine, Free Haiti, and free all nations and peoples suffering under colonial, capitalist, supremacist, and military violence.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
Key quote from episode:
“Cobalt mining is the slave farm perfected.” — Siddharth Kara, Cobalt Red
Time stamps:
(04:46): Situation overview
(18:31): Documentary: Crisis In The Congo
(22:26): Book: Cobalt Red & the 5 lessons I learned
(25:35): Map of DRC conflicts
(29:13): Lesson 1: Exploitative tech giants
(43:30): Lesson 2: Human rights atrocities
(56:33): Lesson 3: Colonial history
(01:03:07): Lesson 4: Stolen future: The assassination of Patrice Lumumba
(01:11:47): Lesson 5: Public Health Crisis
(01:17:47): How we can help (donate, amplify, share)
LEARN:
Book: Cobalt Red: How the Blood of the Congo Powers Our Lives by Siddharth Kara
Documentary: Crisis In The Congo: Uncovering The Truth by Friends of the Congo
Talk: Cobalt Red with Siddharth Kara by Foreign Policy Association
Book: King Leopold's Ghost: A Story of Greed, Terror, and Heroism in Colonial Africa by Adam Hochschild
Instagram infographics: Follow @powerfulcountries [Source(s): UnitedNations, IPIS Research, International Rescue Committee, AfricanNews, Al Jazeera, Human Rights Watch, NY Times, Wikipedia, AP News, Relief Web, and The Independent]
DONATE:
Congolese-led organizations
Panzi Foundation is renowned for its work in treating survivors of sexual violence. The foundation supports survivors of gender-based violence.
HEAL Africa Based in Goma, HEAL Africa runs a hospital and provides health care, training, and community development programs.
UCOFEM (Union Congolaise des Femmes des Médias): An organization focused on women’s rights and gender equality.
International organizations
International Rescue Committee
29: do what's sustainable 🐌🐝🦋🌺
hi my loves. i recorded this episode a few weeks ago. it’s all about prioritizing sustainability in your creative and life pursuits, rather than burning out on impossible demands of yourself. what’s the easiest and smallest version of this goal or dream or desire i have, and how can i make promises that feel sustainable to keep?
i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
Key quotes from episode:
“if you keep breaking the promises you make to yourself — why not make different promises?”
Sources mentioned:
Book: Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown
Book: The Creative ACT by Rick Rubin
Book: Atomic Habits by James Clear
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28: palestinian liberation, decolonization, resistance poems, & resources
as a Black South African, my existence and freedom today are only possible because of the liberation efforts of anti-apartheid revolutionaries like Steve Biko, Winnie Mandela, Chris Hani, and Nelson Mandela. all of these people were labeled terrorists by the apartheid government and international community. like Israel, the USA and UK financially supported the South African apartheid government (until it was no longer popular to).
after many attempts at non-violent protest, the ANC had to turn to armed struggle. they found that there was no other call for justice and freedom for Black South Africans that would be heeded. this is the case in all liberation struggles. the violence that was used to oppose the apartheid regime in South Africa can not be put on equal footing with the extreme violence of apartheid itself, and must always be viewed in its proper context: an attempt by an indigenous people to be free from the militarized and everyday terror of a white supremacist apartheid state. the same is true for Palestine, with respect to Zionism.
decolonization is not a metaphor. when we see thorns of violence, and when they pierce our skin, we must look at them and consider: if i am against this thorn, i must acknowledge that this thorn has a stem, this stem has a root, and if i am not against the root of violence, suffering, and terror that gave this thorn life and made its existence not only possible but inevitable, I cannot in good conscience claim to be against violence at all.
colonialism and imperialism are the root of all structural violence; are the true terrors against humanity and this earth, so normalized and so protected that to condemn them is to be labeled with words only appropriate for the militarized forces of the world that create the most heinous, and organized forms of violence we as human beings have ever been made to experience and witness.
this is an episode in solidarity with my Palestinian siblings, suffering under the weight of an oppressive regime. Free Palestine — free every colonized people from imperialism and colonialism, from bombs, raids, checkpoints, seiges, humiliation, terror, blockades, forced removals, occupations, prisons, slavery, and exploitation. re-indigenize this earth so that peace, community, and love can be returned to the center of human life on this precious planet.
DONATE:
Medical Aid for Palestinians is on the ground in Gaza where they are working to stock hospitals with essential drugs,disposables and other healthcare supplies.
Palestine Children’s Relief Fund is the primary humanitarian organization in Palestine. They deliver crucial, life-saving medical relief and humanitarian aid on the ground
The World Food Program has been distributing fresh bread, canned food and ready-to-eat food to those who sought refuge in United Nations Relief and Works Agency shelters in Gaza
Doctors Without Borders is providing support to hospitals and health facilities in Gaza
UNRWA is providing medical support, trauma relief, and food assistance on the ground in Gaza
LEARN:
Decolonize Palestine has an overview, myth database, and reading list. Support their Patreon here
SOURCES MENTIONED:
Video: Why Hamas Attacked Israel - And What's Next For Gaza by Dena Takruri for AJ+
Paper: Decolonization is not a metaphor by Eve Tuck and K. Wayne
Poem: Refugee by Mahmoud Darwish
Essay: My Palestinian Poem that “The New Yorker” Wouldn’t Publish by Fady Joudah
Poem: Shades of Anger by Rafeef Ziadah
Poem: HADEEL by Rafeef Ziadah
Poem: The Shelling Ended by Najwan Darwish
Poem: My Sixteen-Year-Old Mother by Ahlam Bsharat
Documentary: Oceans of Injustice
Essay: Poetry is Not a Luxury by Audre Lorde
27: romantic longing 🤎 part 2 | love poems, self-defined romance, removing barriers to love
welcome to ACT 2 of our convo on longing for a romantic relationship and what wisdom we can learn from this longing. In this episode, I read you a love poems, invite you to define romance for yourself, and share my pov on what romance means to me, and how it can be accessed through friendship. I am sending you love, today and always. 🤎
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
key quotes from episode:
“I dreamed of romantic love and I thought I knew the packaging it would arrive in. But the substance was most important — and it did not come packaged as a romantic lover, but as a best friend”
“I will love and be loved. Save and be saved a thousand times.” — Kate Baer
“Value all deep bonds equally” — bell hooks
“Is it really so that the one I love is everywhere?” — Rumi
time stamps
(01:49): welcome to Act 2!
(06:50): poem: Idea by Kate Baer
(20:10): my definition of romance
(28:27): conceptual barriers
(36:43): poem: Looking for love by Rumi
☎️ advice hotline: phone in with a question here
sources mentioned:
Poem: Idea by Kate Baer
Poem: Looking for love by Rumi
Essay: The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde
Book: Communion: The Female Search for Love by bell hooks
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26: romantic longing 🤎 — part 1
today we are talking about longing for romantic relationship and what wisdom we can derive from this longing. how can we integrate rather than suppress our romantic longing? what else can it be channeled into? what does our longing have to say to us, and are we listening? we'll be leaning on works like bell hooks' Communion and Audre Lorde's Uses of the Erotic.
This is part 1 of a 2 part series. stay tuned for next episode where we will be discussing things like: romantic friendship, the media we consume, and reimagining where we can find love and desire in our lives. sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
key quotes from episode:
“imagine we had a society structured on the principle of love: teaching us how we can be loving and receive love; creating the conditions for all kinds of love to flourish and thrive"
"longing is love. what else can we channel the love underlying our romantic longing into?"
Time stamps
(00:44): poll + leave me a voice note
(03:10): what is romantic longing?
(07:45): honor your longing
(14:22): integrate your longing
(23:25): self-love is the beginning
(25:10): longing is love
(33:00): love as a practice
(36:39): how can you be more loving today?
☎️ advice hotline: voice note me here with a question or thoughts
sources mentioned:
Book: Communion: The Female Search for Love by bell hooks
Essay: The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde
Podcast episode: Redefining the Erotic by me on Spotify, Apple, YouTube
Book: Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds by adrienne maree brown
Quotes: Love Quotes from the Works of A. H. Almaas
Tweet by @northstardoll
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25: you have nothing to prove | the myth of proving yourself
if you’ve ever desperately tried to prove yourself to others or to yourself, this episode is for you. today we are discussing the underlying paradoxes and unmet needs at play when we are in the zone of trying to prove and justify ourselves.
tldr: you deserve to pursue things irrespective of the outcome; the people meant for you will love you irrespective of your "success" (which itself is a cultural myth); sometimes proving ourselves is a cry for love; when we cling to the need to prove ourselves, we allow our sense of self to be swallowed by other people's and society's expectations of us.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Time stamps
(03:56): The paradox of proving ourselves
(13:15): Attaching our worth to the outcome
(17:17): Sacrificing the magic of the process
(23:02): Losing ourselves
(25:40): Lack of genuine support
(30:02): Self-denial
(33:30): Journaling questions
(34:13): Write a letter to yourself
☎️ seeking advice and want to phone in with a question? submit a voicemail here (https://www.speakpipe.com/ayandastood)
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Sources mentioned:
Bio: J. Krishnamurti text quoted here
Book: You Are a Goddess by Sophie Bashford
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24: let it become | on creativity, relationships, & life 🐛🐝🦋🐣
If you obsess over planning things instead of letting them unfold naturally, this episode is for you! Join me as we explore the notion and paradox of Becoming. Let’s release the illusion of control, and let the seed of your ideas and your relationships grow into what they wish to become. Nourishing the seed is meaningful and necessary — trying to control and define its possibilities may not be. Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Key quotes from episode:
“Honor the magic within you by understanding that you cannot fully contain, predict, or control its expression.”
Time stamps
(01:39): Controlling our creativity
(04:37): Optimizing in dating
(07:20): Nourish the seeds
(08:29): The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts
(12:16): Accessing our wisdom
(16:45): Breakups, birth & death
(22:14): Trust the process
(23:35): Examples (play, dance, etc)
(28:30): My podcast’s Becoming
(29:50): The importance of space
☎️ seeking advice and want to phone in with a question? submit a voicemail here
Sources mentioned:
Book: The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety by Alan Watts
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Quotes from this episode:
“When we let something new Be, we also let it Become”
“In our very Being is the state of Becoming”
“Surrender the illusion that we are in control"
“Suspend judgment, initially at least, and let yourself have the first draft. If you are writing and editing at the same time, for example, you are curtailing the possibilities of your words before they have even been given a chance to be fully expressed"
“On a first date, you don’t need to interview someone. You can choose to just experience them”
“We have so much love to give. We only need to stop ourselves from constantly silencing that giving. We have so much wisdom to share; sometimes what we are craving most is just the space to let that voice inside of us speak; to let it unfold — to let it become"
“What will you surrender to this week? What will you allow to manifest through you? Instead of trying to exert control — pause, and tap into a wisdom, power, and intelligence that is bigger than your ability to plan for it"
“Honor your inner child, and your inner manifestation of love — the part of you that craves love, and the part of you that is love — and create from that place”
23: disposability culture & my fear of being cancelled
today we are digging deeper into my own creative fear — why and how I fear cancellation, my experience with it thus far, and what I tell myself in the face of this fear.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Key quote from episode:
"I fear the social death that comes with disposability culture, where Black creators are built up just to be teared down"
"I'm not fearless, I'm terrified"
"I want to love myself so much that I am never disposable; I am never worthless"
Time stamps
(00:24): quick affirmation for you
(02:46): i'm not fearless I'm terrified
(06:48): self-sabotage and fear
(20:32): disposability culture and Black creators
(28:49): what this fear stops me from doing
(31:19): my past experiences with cancellation
(42:05): what I tell myself in the face of fear
Sources mentioned:
Book: Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds by adrienne maree brown
Book: The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest
Essay: The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action by Audre Lorde
Podcast: The Highest Self Podcast by Sahara Rose
Join the community:
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Every Sunday: Join showing up together, a virtual working session every Sunday on Zoom from 9am-12pm EST.
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22: you are not an imposter. write your spiritual resume 📝💛
if you ask yourself, who am I to do this thing I want to do? to write a book, start a podcast, become a songwriter.... this episode is for you. as insecure and fearful creatives, we ask ourselves, who am I to do the thing? but we don’t think imaginatively about how to answer that question.
we look to other people and institutions to qualify us as what we already know ourselves to be, or what others have told us they see in us.
if you worry that you are not worthy of pursuing your dreams or going after an opportunity, this episode is for you. let's learn to qualify ourselves and take a broader, experiential and relational view of our readiness to pursue our dreams.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
Key quote from episode:
“We are waiting for permission that is never going to arrive, so we have to bring that into being. We have to qualify ourselves”
“Every experience you have had is Knowledge that you can draw from that “qualifies” you to go after your dreams”
Time stamps
(00:00): the myth of being qualified
(04:03): why you are remarkable
(11:16): my experience
(15:00): reframe and reimagine
(20:22): what have you been to yourself?
(21:44): what is a spiritual resume?
(23:42): romantic love as an example
(29:57): closing
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21: the power of recommitment & return
pov: the shame you feel for avoiding a creative project is keeping you from returning to it. let’s discuss why we need to embrace recommitment as a key part of the creative process. the constant decision to return and recommit to our projects and to our relationships, without shaming or blaming ourselves, is fundamental to the human experience. contrary to what we are taught to believe, our rest and our breaks are generative. we are cyclical, seasonal beings forced into linear, mechanic imaginations.
let’s reclaim our ability to wander off the path we had imagined for ourselves, and then recommit to a different version of that path; enriched and enlivened by the experiences we have had along the way.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Key quote:
“Don’t let the shame of staying away keep you from the magic of returning”
Time stamps
(00:33): The shame of avoidance
(04:33): How nature embraces return
(07:48): Lost connections with friends
(09:36): Return is not regression
(13:25): Recommitment is the substance of relationships
(14:08): Beehives and birds’ nests
(18:00): Athletes, crafts, identity & recommitment
(20:50): Returning is a brave act
(23:33): What will we recommit to this week?
(25:02): The number one regret = lost connections
(27:51): The life on the other side of return
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Every Sunday: Join showing up together, a virtual working session every Sunday on Zoom from 9am-12pm EST.
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20: you are not a machine: why inconsistency is natural 🦋🍄🌻
This is for anyone who is struggling to stay consistent with their creative project or goals in life. I am with you! And so are the sunsets, the fruit trees, the weather, the harvest, the ocean waves. You are made to believe you are separate from and “above” nature. But we are all nature. A peach tree does not produce a peach every Monday on demand. So if you’re struggling to do the same, this is for you
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
Key quote from episode:
“Nothing in nature is perfectly consistent, and you are nature, so why would you be?”
Time stamps:
(01:12): The colonial imagination
(06:38): You are cosmically aligned
(11:58): Digital platforms & the mechanization of self
(16:46): Examples in nature of inconsistency
(33:43): In what way are you fluctuating?
(41:33): Cosmic timing for our creations
Sources mentioned:
Meditation series: 21 Days of Abundance by Deepak Chopra
Book: The Creative ACT: A way of Being by Rick Rubin
Novel: Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta
Join the community:
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19: the myth of inclusive beauty
Today we unpack the prevalent myth of inclusive beauty. This episode is part of my Beauty Bites *insert chews* series, where we think against the Beauty hierarchy. I give 7 reasons why Inclusive Beauty is a myth, including: the way it functions is selectively inclusive which is not genuine inclusion, it leaves the underlying power structure of Eurocentricism untouched, and ultimately it's a profit strategy for corporations run by white western men to make more money!
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Key quote from episode:
“Inclusive Beauty does nothing to challenge the underlying power structure of the Beauty hierarchy”
Time stamps
(00:00): Intro
(03:49): Selective inclusion = exclusion
(09:45): Underlying power structure remains
(13:24): Barbie as an example
(16:02): Erasure of personhood
(18:35): The broader power structures surrounding inclusive beauty
(19:17): A profit strategy
(20:15): Optimization is not inclusion
(22:30): Beauty is fundamentally exclusive
(24:14): Closing
Sources mentioned:
Book: Thick: And Other Essays by Tressie McMillan Cottom
IG: @bysahra on the Black best friend trope
Article: Racial hierarchy
Essay: Beauty standards are killing my people by "Rachel"
Chart: Statista Beauty Brand Values by age group, 2021
Join the community:
ayandastood.substack.com is my newsletter and where I share community events
Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG
18: overcoming creative resistance
Today I expand on a recent TikTok I created about overcoming creative resistance. The idea of resistance is based on Steven Pressfield's book The War of Art. If you are an insecure creative like me — terrified of bringing your ideas to life because of self-doubt, perfectionism, avoidance, anxiety, how can you overcome your creative resistance? By leaning on forces much greater than you, such as spirituality, serving the collective, and becoming a student of nature.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube (@ayandastood).
Key quote from episode:
“We can serve the collective through viewing our art as an offering in mutual service of the other. An offering does not have to be perfect. It just needs to Be.”
Time stamps
(00:00): My experience with creative resistance
(05:35): Resistance (Steven Pressfield) vs Inspiration
(11:24): Inspiration > Resistance
(14:10): 3 forces bigger than you
(14:20): Spirituality
(25:54): The Collective
(37:20): Nature
(42:10): Summary & Closing
Sources mentioned:
Book: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (https://stevenpressfield.com/books/the-war-of-art/)
Podcast: Steven Pressfield: Unlock Your Creative Genius on Oprah’s Super Soul podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/steven-pressfield-unlock-your-creative-genius/id1264843400?i=1000427290930)
Book: All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks (https://bookshop.org/p/books/all-about-love-new-visions-bell-hooks/8888106?ean=9780060959470)
Book: The Creative ACT: A way of Being by Rick Rubin (https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-creative-act-a-way-of-being-rick-rubin/18543579?ean=9780593652886)
Book: The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron (https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-artist-s-way-30th-anniversary-edition-julia-cameron/6665657?ean=9780143129257)
Book: Communion: The Female Search for Love by bell hooks (https://bookshop.org/p/books/communion-the-female-search-for-love-bell-hooks/8881836?ean=9780060938291)
YouTube: Shonda Rhimes on MSNBC (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKEtjy-K7r8)
Book: The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben (https://bookshop.org/p/books/retaliation/18887828?ean=9781771642484)
Creative Quest by Questlove (https://bookshop.org/p/books/creative-quest-questlove/7326388?ean=9780062670571)
Join the community:
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17: reclaiming the erotic
Today we are redefining and reimagining the Erotic. What is it, why is it so powerful, and how can we bring more of it into our lives? We will hear clips from Audre Lorde’s seminal essay, The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power, as well as words of wisdom from adrienne maree brown, and Esther Perel. I hope this makes you feel enlivened, and invites more Erotic experiences into your life. I dream of a society rooted in aliveness instead of death, especially of the most marginalized. Let's dream together.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
🎥: Watch the VIDEO of this episode on Spotify or YouTube.
Key quote from episode:
“What makes you feel alive? Keep a note on your phone of moments, experiences, people, that enliven you"
Time stamps:
(00:00): Intro to The Erotic
(07:09): Intro to Audre Lorde
(13:33): Esther Perel on the Erotic
(17:17): What makes you feel alive?
(19:10): Public parks as Erotic spaces
(22:11): adrienne maree brown on Audre Lorde’s Uses of the Erotic
(22:55): Love & The Erotic ft. bell hooks
(33:66): Audre Lorde on how the Erotic functions in her life
(36:30): Closing
Sources mentioned:
Essay: Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde
Essay reading: Audre Lorde reads Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic As Power
Website: Adrienne maree brown
Book: Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown
Book: Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown
Book: All About Love by bell hooks
YouTube: What is Erotic Intelligence? (Mindvalley Talks) by Esther Perel
TED Talk: Rethinking infidelity by Esther Perel
Discussion: Reimagining Desire post on my Substack
Essays on porn by adrienne maree brown: Liberating Desire & The Pleasure Dome
TikTok: Follow Misako Envela @MisakoEnvela on YouTube and @misako_envela on TikTok
Join the community:
ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG.
Next Showing Up Together Event: August 6, 10am-1pm EST | RSVP here
16: industrialized vs. spiritual beauty (💡: Jessica DeFino)
Welcome to a new series within my podcast called Beauty Bites *insert chews*. This is an ode to and a home for the very many thoughts I have on Beauty politics and breaking the colonial Beauty paradigm. In today’s episode we discuss an idea I learned from Jessica DeFino’s Substack, The Unpublishable. It is the idea that the beauty we are sold (industrialized beauty) is not the beauty we actually yearn for or need as human beings on earth (spiritual beauty). I wanted to discuss Jessica’s powerful idea further on the pod, so here it goes.
Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Key quote from episode:
“Nothing that makes a person hate themselves should be allowed to be called Beauty”
Time stamps
(00:00): Intro to Beauty Bites *insert chews*
(05:35): Intro to The Unpublishable Substack
(09:47): The cultural importance of spiritual beauty
(11:24): Ask ChatGPT: Beauty industry and religious language
(16:56): Reclaiming Beauty
(22:44): Democratizing the access to spiritual beauty
(29:00): Closing
Sources mentioned:
The Unpublishable by Jessica DeFino
Essay: Beauty, Appearance, Attraction, & Power
The Ugliness of Beauty episode by me (Apple & Spotify)
Moving Towards Ugliness Ft. Mia Mingus episode by me (Apple & Spotify)
Join the community:
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Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG.
15: showing up together & what I'm avoiding rn
If you're like me you have a bunch of scary projects or tasks or responsibilities or texts you are currently AVOIDING. you keep telling yourself to "just face them". but hard things are not meant to be faced alone!
in this episode I discuss a community event called Showing up together on Sunday Jul 23 at 11am-2pm EST. if you can't make it or are listening to this after this date, no worries, this is hopefully just the beginning!
This event is:
- A working session to face anything you’ve been avoiding (personal, creative, career)
- The goal is to actively face the thing on a Zoom call tg, rather than just talk about it :)
- Come whenever and stay for however long! I’ll be there :)
- Stay tuned on my Substack for the next one!
Key quote from the episode:
“It’s called Showing Up Together — because why would we show up alone?”
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Time stamps:
- (00:00) Introducing this event
- (02:09) Creative resistance poll results
- (04:20) Building the world we want
- (06:26) What I’m avoiding currently
- (08:54) Urgency and white supremacy
- (10:11) Collectively facing avoidance
- (12:16) Closing
Sources mentioned:
Essay: Cosmic Anarchy Substack by Dr. Ayesha Khan
Specific essay mentioned: “Heavy, difficult emotions are important to face & only overwhelming when carried alone”
Book: Viral Justice by Ruha Benjamin
Book: Freedom is a constant struggle by Angela Davis
Book: Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown
Book: Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey
Essay: Cornel West on Existential hope
Clip: Tricia Hersey: Rest & Collective Care as Tools for Liberation by Sounds True
Article: Bodymind by Stimpunks Foundation
Creator: Follow 5hahem on TikTok. Support them via their LinkTree here
The Highest Self Podcast by Sahara Rose
Join the community:
ayandastood.substack.com please join me here!
Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG.
14: insecure creatives, gather! Part 2
This one is for my fellow creatives facing self-doubt, insecurity, resistance, fear, anxiety. If you know you want to start, complete, or share your creative project — this episode (and the last one) is for you! I recommend listening to Part 1 first but also you can dive in right here. Sending love!
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Key quote:
“Things shift for you as a creator when you focus on serving the collective.”
Time stamps:
- (00:00) Intro
- (03:00) Focus on one person
- (10:20) Don’t identify with the outcome
- (16:56) Paint the world with your consciousness
- (22:53) Why not you?
- (31:14) It’s just a video!
- (35:42) Closing
Sources and clips included:
Essay: The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action by Audre Lorde
Book: The Creative ACT: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
Clip: Follow Simplifying Sam on TikTok and link to her video here
Clip: My video on Beauty as alienation from the self
Clip: ABTalks with Jay Shetty interview by Anas Bukhash
Join the community:
Subscribe to my newsletter at ayandastood.substack.com
Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG.
JOIN FREE EVENT: Showing up together on Sunday Jul 23
- Working session to face something you’ve been avoiding
- Anything! Adulting is hard! Creating is hard! Let's do it together
- Come whenever and stay for however long! I’ll be there
- Stay tuned on my Substack for the next one!
13: insecure creatives, gather! Part 1
If you are experiencing creative fear, resistance, or anxiety, this is for you. We are on the same journey, because I face this daily as an insecure creative myself. In this episode I read an essay I wrote for my Substack on the wisdom I rely on to overcome or move through creative fear and resistance: to create content on TikTok, to write on Substack, and to create episodes for you right here. Plus I have other projects I dream of. I know my worth is not in completing any of these things. But I also know that I don't want to be guided by my fear and anxiety, but by my wildest dreams and my desire to serve the collective. I want my deepest and fullest consciousness to guide me, in service of you and others like you, while I am still here on earth.
Disclaimer: This is not about self-improvement but rather about honoring our creativity and our aliveness. How do we create art in a way that is not rooted in hustle or productivity culture? For me, spirituality - grounding myself in serving the collective and sharing my fullest consciousness as a member of the universe who will one day die - is the answer.
To be my fullest expression while I still can, I know I need to be overcoming my fears to share my voice and my art. That is my truth, as inconvenient as it often is for me. It's a calling that many of us feel. If you feel it but sometimes struggle to honor your calling(s), this episode (and many more to come) is for you.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Book mentioned: The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin. His YouTube interviews are inspiring too, like this one with Jay Shetty.
- (00:00): Why we are all creative
- (06:03): The world needs your voice, just as it is
- (10:05): Disclaimer: Self- and Collective-honoring NOT Self-improvement
- (15:00): Perfectionism is self-repression
- (20:00): Creativity is subversive
- (22:43): How self-silencing goes against nature
- (25:09): Self-doubt connects you to all other creatives
Join the community:
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12: why I love Paradigm Shifts
Why did I change the name of the podcast from "Reimagining" to "Paradigm Shifts"? Let's talk about it! An episode where I basically profess my love to paradigm shifts, why I'm ok with the fact that the podcast name is not unique to me, and how paradigm shifts are connected to pleasure.
Key quote: "Paradigm shifts are embodied experiences of learning. They make us GASP, pause, stop walking, scream, open our eyes a wide... they feel magical and profound, both personal and communal."
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Time stamps:
- (00:00): Why I changed the podcast name
- (03:28): What is a paradigm shift?
- (07:51): Other podcasts have the same name
- (10:20): Celebrating Shared Consciousness
- (11:40): Why I love paradigm shifts so much + Embodiment
- (14:39): Paradigm shifts, pleasure, and the Erotic
- (25:19): The intimacy of being Known
- (27:00): Wrap Up
Sources and clips included:
The Laura Flanders Show: adrienne maree brown: pleasure activism
Book: Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown (follow amb on IG here!)
Essay: Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde
Join the community:
ayandastood.substack.com please join me here it's lots of fun!
Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood_ on IG.
11: essay reading: "on the transformation of silence into language and action" by Audre Lorde
in this episode, I read an essay I refer to often in this podcast, Audre Lorde’s “On the Transformation of Silence into Language and Action”. This episode was initially meant to be my original “return” to the podcast. I ended up cutting some of my reflection down to let the essay stand on its own, but my reflections on it will continue to be peppered throughout the podcast.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Key quote from the essay: “What are the words you do not yet have? What do you need to say?” — Audre Lorde.
Time stamps:
- (00:00): Intro and Welcome back
- (02:28): Audre Lorde bio. Read more here
- (04:11): Essay reading
- (16:50): Brief reflections
Sources and clips included:
Essay: On the transformation of silence into language and action by Audre Lorde
Read Audre Lorde's Bio
Book: Selected Works of Audre Lorde, edited by Roxane Gay
Clip: "There is no hierarchy of oppressions" by Audre Lorde
Join the community:
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Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood_ on IG.
10: on finding your voice
in this episode, I speak from the heart on my own struggles with finding and accepting my voice. I discuss the dual need to both be visible/seen and invisible/hidden. I am following the echo and calling of Audre Lorde's essay "On the transformation of silence into language and action" in which she asks, "what are the words you do not yet have? what do you need to say?". I weave in some of the voices that appeared in my consciousness as I speak these words, in recognition of our collective and shared consciousness. If you are struggling to use your voice in any way - in your private relationships or on your public profile - this episode is for you.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Subscribe to my newsletter to get weekly vibes (essays, art, stories etc.) from me direct to your inbox: ayandastood.substack.com
Key quote from me: Paint the world with your consciousness!
Time stamps:
- (00:00): Welcome back! On struggling to share my voice
- (04:42): Audre Lorde essay “On the transformation of silence into language and action”
- (05:31): Matching our inner and outer world Ft. Sahara Rose Highest Self Podcast
- (07:47): The condition of truth is that it allow suffering to speak — Dr. Cornel West
- (09:38): Ubuntu Ft. Mungi Ngomane
- (11:30): Reading from my journal on finding/accepting my voice
- (17:53): Gabor Mate on authenticity vs. attachment
- (24:36): We are world-builders
- (26:00): My experiences with self-repression
- (29:00): What would you tell your daughter to do?
- (34:30): Speak from the body - Gloria Anzaldúa
- (38:48): The suffering and alchemy of artists
- (49:00): The ripple effects of using our voice
- (50:00): Your words matter
- (52:30): Words between friends build worlds
- (55:25): What do YOU need to say?
Sources and clips included:
Selected Works of Audre Lorde, edited by Roxane Gay
On the transformation of silence into language and action by Audre Lorde
Highest self podcast Episode 482: How to Open Up Your Throat Chakra + Speak with Soul with Sahara Rose on Spotify and YouTube
Everyday Ubuntu: Living better the African Way by Mungi Ngomane
Why Do We Disconnect From Our True Selves | Dr. Gabor Mate by Way of Thinking
What is meant by "Authenticity"?: Gabor Mate by Science and Nonduality (SAND)
Freedom is a Constant Struggle by Angela Davis
Cornel West quote: "You must let suffering speak, if you want to hear the truth."
Learn more about Gloria E. Anzaldúa
9: connected conflict Ft. Zanele Mji
Join me for a fun and energetic convo with journalist, storyteller, and podcast host Zanele Mji as we discuss connected conflict, friendship, relationships, and growth. Zanale is a South African award-winning investigative journalist based in Joburg whose work marries narrative non-fiction, hard news, and analysis. She is the host of the Golden City Podcast which you can find on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts. In this episode, we talk, learn, reflect, and vibe together. I hope you enjoy it!
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Highlights:
(02:02 ) Intro to Zanele
(04:30) Multiple Versions of Conflict
(09:19) The Inner Family System
(15:48) Our experiences with conflict
(29:27) How we journal
(49:40) Redefining Kinship
(1:00:10) Thoughts on Friendship
Links:
Website: https://www.zanelemji.com/
Podcast: Golden City on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts
Tiktok: a.mji.thang
Instagram: Zanele Mji (@zananigans) • Instagram photos and videos
Twitter: Zanele (@ZaneleMji)
Youtube: Zanele Mji @zanelemji
Links Mentioned:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall B Rosenberg
Access Is Love - Disability & Intersectionality by Mia Mingus
The Artist's Way: A Course in Discovering and Recovering Your Creative Self by Julia Cameron
Ghost of a Podcast: Astrology & Advice with Jessica Lanyadoo
My links:
Substack: ayandastood.substack.com | Subscribe to my newsletter!!! Tiktok: @ayandastood
Podcast Instagram: @reimaginingwithayandastood
My Instagram: @ayandastood
8: white feminism Ft. Rafia Zakaria
Today I am delighted to be in conversation with Rafia Zakaria, an American Muslim author, attorney, and political philosopher, to discuss her powerful book, Against White Feminism: Notes on Disruption. In this book, Rafia challenges white feminism’s global, long-standing affinity with colonial, patriarchal, and white supremacist ideals.
Covering such ground as the legacy of the British feminist imperialist savior complex and "the colonial thesis that all reform comes from the West" to the condescension of the white feminist-led "aid industrial complex" and the conflation of sexual liberation as the "sum total of empowerment," Zakaria follows in the tradition of intersectional feminist forebears Kimberlé Crenshaw, Adrienne Rich, and Audre Lorde. Zakaria ultimately refutes and reimagines the apolitical aspirations of white feminist empowerment in this radical critique, with Black and Brown feminist thought at the forefront.
Rafia is a writer at the Baffler and Dawn magazine and a Fellow at the African American Policy Forum, an innovative think tank Co-Founded by Kimberle Crenshaw that connects academics, activists and policy-makers to promote efforts to dismantle structural inequality.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Highlights:
(03:09) Rafia’s journey to publishing this book
(12:34) What is white feminism?
(22:03) Moving away from individualism towards collective action
(29:02) A Perspective Empowerment History and Collectivism Solidarity
(46:21) Technology & white supremacy
(52:20) Engineering our future: How feminists inform politics
(56:36) Rahia’s dream for the feminist movement
Rafia Zakaria's Links:
Twitter:Rafia Zakaria @rafiazakaria
Instagram:@rafiazakariafeminist
LinkedIn:Rafia Zakaria
Links Mentioned:
Against White Feminism: Notes on Disruption by Rafia Zakaria
Unfocused Feminism: The battle lines go beyond the bedroom and the boardroom by Rafia Zakaria
My links: Substack: ayandastood.substack.com | Subscribe to my newsletter!!! Tiktok: @ayandastood
Podcast Instagram: @reimaginingwithayandastood
My Instagram: @ayandastood
7: viral justice Ft. Ruha Benjamin
I am so thrilled and honored to be in conversation with Ruha Benjamin, a Professor of African American studies at Princeton University, founding director of the Ida B. Wells JUST Data Lab and author of three books, Viral Justice (2022), Race After Technology (2019), and People’s Science (2013), and editor of Captivating Technology (2019).
Today, we discuss her incredible latest book, Viral Justice: How We Grow the World We Want. I am completely obsessed with this book. I feel it is an urgent read for all of us who want to integrate the structural and the individual, the academic and the poetic, the political and the personal, knowing that each of these things are necessarily interlinked and interdependent: just like us.
Ruha writes, teaches, and speaks widely about the relationship between innovation and inequity, knowledge and power, race and citizenship, health and justice. Long before the pandemic, she was doing groundbreaking research on race, technology, and justice, focusing on big, structural changes. But the twin plagues of COVID-19 and anti-Black police violence inspired her to rethink the importance of small, individual actions.
“Remember to imagine and craft the worlds you cannot live without, just as you dismantle the ones you cannot live within." — Ruha Benjamin
I hope you enjoy our conversation!
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Highlights:
(01:20) Get to Know Ruha Benjamin
(02:51 ) What is viral justice?
(04:45) The three types of plotting
(09:44) Ruha's journey shaping this work
(22:40) How can we be vulnerable but not exposed?
(27:38) The power of poetry
(36:16) Mutual aid and other life forms
(41:20) The Doula Effect and how we can bring it to our daily lives
Ruha's Links:
Website:https://www.ruhabenjamin.com/
Instagram:Ruha Benjamin (@ruha9)
Twitter:Ruha Benjamin (@ruha9)
LinkTree to all her work: https://linktr.ee/ruhabenjamin
Links Mentioned:
Viral Justice: How We Grow the World We Want by Ruha Benjamin
Toni Cade Bambara
Mia Mingus blog & Twitter @miamingus
Erik Olin Wright
My links: Substack: ayandastood.substack.com | Subscribe to my newsletter!!! Book club launching soon! Tiktok: @ayandastood
Podcast Instagram: @reimaginingwithayandastood
My Instagram: @ayandastood
6: beautiful lies Ft. Kalpana Mohanty
In this episode, I am joined by Kalpana Mohanty, writer, Ph.D. Candidate and Trudeau Scholar at Harvard University. She works on disability, colonialism, and gender in South Asia. Kalpana grew up in Portugal, Canada and India. Her proposed PhD topic focuses on the history of disability in India, particularly during high colonialism.
Inspired by her own lived experience as someone with chronic illness who lives with a disability, Kalpana is passionate about accessibility in all forms, whether that be making academic spaces accessible for all students or making scholarly work engaging and interesting for a non-academic audience. She is committed to using the rigorous framework and theory of academia to address wider cultural issues ranging from the serious to the trivial as a cultural commentator.
Kalpana reads and we discuss her incredible article, Beautiful Lies, where she asks why public discourse on beauty remains so shallow.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Kalpana's Links:
Twitter: @kalpanamohanty
Website: https://kalpanamohanty.squarespace.com/
Audio clips included:
Now This News: Sabrina Strings Explains How 'Fatphobia' is Rooted in Racism
Intersections of Disability Justice and Transformative Justice Ft. Elliott Fukui and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha by Barnard Center for Research on Women
Venmo: Elliot Fukui @elliottseiji
Buy Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha's books here
Links Mentioned:
Beautiful Lies | Kalpana Mohanty
Mobeen Hussain is the Cambridge scholar who studies skin lightening in India.
Jaclyn Wong
Afghan Girl Portrait by Steve McCurry
Constant Cravings by Alice Wong
Book and other recommendations included:
Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings | Thick: and other Essays by Tressie McMillan Cottom | Alok V Menon | The Age of Instagram Face by Jia Tolentino| Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness by Da'Shaun L. Harrison | Maybe Baby | Haley Nahman| The Right to Sex by Amia Srinivasan | What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon| Maintenance Phase Podcast | Perfect Me by Heather Widdows
5: beauty & desirability Ft. Asherah aka @therealasherah
Welcome to another episode of Reimagining with Ayandastood. I am so thrilled to introduce our guest for today: an incredible human being, creator, singer, songwriter and activist– Black, Trans, Queer, Nigerian, UK-based creator Asherah, aka @therealasherah.
Asherah is passionate about liberation for all the oppressed and uses her content to educate her audience on feminism, LGBTQ+ rights, desirability politics, Black liberation, and so much more! She regularly amplifies marginalized voices on her TikTok and interacts with other creators in her distinct greenscreen video stitching style, creating the feeling of direct engagement with tons of perspectives and voices. She amplifies mutual aid efforts supporting the needs of Black trans and queer individuals on her TikTok above and LinkTree below.
If you have the means please PayPal Asherah @angelsaxis and donate to her mutual aid efforts here: @asherahlovelydae
Don’t miss out on this insightful episode as we talk about her experience with dating, desirability, beauty and much more! If this is your first time tuning in, subscribe to avoid misssing out on upcoming episodes!
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Highlights:
(06:18) What do you need to say?
(070:6) Perception of self vs. Others' perception of you
(07:58) Who is Asherah?
(15:38) Love, dating, trust, and fetishization
(24:03) The dark side of Desirability
(28:01) Asherah’s creative use of her Desirability in content creation
(37:00) What role does Beauty play in the world?
(1:01:35) Solidarity among Black women
Asherah’s Links:
TikTok: @therealasherah
LinkTree: @asherahlovelydae | Find mutual aid efforts to support!
PayPal: @angelsaxis
Ayanda's Links:
Substack: www.ayandastood.substack.com - Subscribe if you can!
Instagram: @reimaginingwithayandastood
Tiktok: Watch Ayandastood's Newest TikTok Videos
Instagram: @ayandastood • Instagram photos and videos
Audre Lorde Essay: The Transformation of Language into Silence and Action
4: the ugliness of beauty — part 2
We continue our grand tour of the Ugliness of Beauty. This will be an ongoing series. Don't forget to listen to Part 1 first! In this episode we dive deeper into the paradoxes and ironies underlying Beauty and the role Beauty plays in upholding and normalizing systems of oppression.
Once again, I invite you to interrogate Beauty as a normalized social heirarchy, and move towards reimagining what Beauty (or something much better!) could be. I hope you enjoy this episode and if you do, leave a review and share it with someone special! I love you.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Sources:
Variety: Viola Davis - Kering Women in Motion Talk - Cannes Film Festival 2022 Link
BBC Stories: Skin Lightening: What I didn't know about it Link
Asian Boss: How Obsessed Are Indians With Fair Skin? Link
Allure: Girls Ages 6-18 Talk About Body Image Link
White Hot: The Rise & Fall of Abercrombie & Fitch | Official Trailer | Netflix Link
Be Naya Films Skin Documentary Trailer Link
Reclaim Ugly organization. Donate here
My links:
Substack: ayandastood.substack.com Tiktok: @ayandastood
Podcast Instagram: @reimaginingwithayandastood
My Instagram: @ayandastood
3: moving toward ugliness Ft. Mia Mingus
Hello Sunshine! Welcome to another episode of Reimagining with Ayandastood. Today, we are joined by the one and only Mia Mingus. In this episode, we explore Beauty, Desirability, Ugliness and Magnificence. Full transcripts to all episodes are available here.
Mia Mingus is a writer, educator and trainer for transformative justice and disability justice. She is a queer, physically disabled, Korean-American transnational adoptee raised in the Caribbean. She works for community, interdependence and home for all of us, not just some of us, and longs for a world where disabled children can live free of violence, with dignity and love. As her work for liberation evolves and deepens, her roots remain firmly planted in ending sexual violence. Find Mia at @MiaMingus on Twitter and suppert her on Venmo @Mia-Mingus if you can!
I hope you enjoy today’s episode. Don’t forget to subscribe and share it with a friend!
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Highlights:
(03:22) Intro to Mia Mingus
(07:42) What brings Mia joy
(11:28) What does it mean to Move Towards Ugliness?
(16:07) Experiences that led Mia into this work
(27:15) What does it mean to embrace each other’s Magnificence?
(33:19) How desirability has been used to commit violence
(46:36) How the need to feel beautiful is rooted in harm
(1:06:25) How can we find ways to Move Toward Ugliness?
(1:13:13) What is the antidote to shame?
(1:18:49) Why is the burden of Beauty so high?
Links:
Mia Mingus:
Venmo: @Mia-Mingus
Writing: About | Leaving Evidence
Twitter: @miamingus
IG: @mia.mingus
Reading: “Moving Toward the Ugly: A Politic Beyond Desirability” by Mia Mingus
Mentions:
Sip & Politic is an incredible podcast by my mutuals Joy Malonza & Carla Marie Davis. Find it on Apple here and Spotify here
Support my amazing mutual Ismatu on Substack here and on TikTok @ismatu.gwendolyn
Audre Lorde Essay: The Transformation of Language into Silence and Action
Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Ant-fatness as Anti-Blackness by Da'Shaun L. Harrison is a fantastic book and resource! Follow them on Twitter here @DaShaunLH
Ayanda:
Substack: ayandastood.substack.comTiktok: @ayandastood
Podcast Instagram: @reimaginingwithayandastood
My Instagram: @ayandastood
2: the ugliness of beauty — part 1
The response to eurocentric Beauty standards has been to diversify and include more people of marginalized identities. But this vital response alone is not enough. Our society regards Beauty as something inherently aspirational, noble, and good. Is it? Full transcripts to all episodes are available here.
Even as more people are included, the terms and conditions of inclusion are exclusive and rooted in the same toxic beauty standards. At the same time, Beauty still functions in harmful ways to exclude and ostracize the most marginalized. What, exactly, are we fighting to be included within? What are the ugly ways that Beauty functions in our society? What is the Ugliness of Beauty?
In this series, I invite you to reconsider Beauty as a social heirarchy, and move towards reimagining what Beauty (or something much better!) could be. I hope you enjoy this episode and if you do, leave a review and share it with a bestie!
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Highlights:
(03:28) Reframing capital B Beauty
(04:10) What could beauty be? More on this in later episodes…
(05:25) What is the paradox of Beauty?
(12:54) Why is Beauty ugly + what does Beauty do?
(17:51) Roles within the supply chain
(26:25) How our obsession with beauty reinforces our obsession with whiteness
(34:50) The allure of Beauty & how it justifies racism, oppression and exploitation
(45:27) The ugliness of beauty as a political concept
Sources:
Audre Lorde Essay: The Transformation of Language into Silence and Action
“Moving Toward the Ugly: A Politic Beyond Desirability” by Mia Mingus
Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Ant-fatness as Anti-Blackness by Da'Shaun L. Harrison is a fantastic book and resource! Follow them on Twitter here @DaShaunLH
On the Politics of Ugliness book edited by Sara Rodrigues and Ela Przybylo
My links:
Substack: ayandastood.substack.com Tiktok: @ayandastood
Podcast Instagram: @reimaginingwithayandastood
My Instagram: @ayandastood
1: welcome to my podcast!
Hello sunshines! Welcome to the first episode of Reimagining with @ayandastood– a podcast where we reframe, rethink, and reimagine everything standing in the way of love and liberation. I am so excited to be on this journey with you! Don’t forget to tune in, share it with a friend if you like it, and don’t miss out on my next episode– The Ugliness of Beauty. Full transcripts to all episodes are available here.
ADVICE COLUMN:
☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? submit a voicemail here.
📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ASK Ayanda form here.
Highlights:
(01:00) My journey to starting this podcast
(03:52) Don’t try to do things alone if you can avoid it!
(05:52) Audre Lorde Quotes on silence, language, and action
(11:21) Community values and moving for, with, and through love
Links:
Instagram: @reimaginingwithayandastood
Substack: https://ayandastood.substack.com/ - Subscribe if you can!
Tiktok: Watch Ayandastood's Newest TikTok Videos
Instagram: @ayandastood • Instagram photos and videos
Audre Lorde Essay: The Transformation of Language into Silence and Action