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Making Nice with Naughty

Making Nice with Naughty

By Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins

Welcome to the "Making Nice with Naughty" podcast, where we explore the fascinating world of intimacy for the rule-following, organized, perfectionist, practical, and color-within-the-lines types. Join your hosts, Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins, as they navigate the delicate balance of connection and structure in matters of the heart.
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Discernment Counseling: The Better Option for Couples on the Brink of Divorce

Making Nice with NaughtyJan 20, 2023

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46:18
EPISODE 9: MAKING FRIENDS WITH YOUR ANXIETY

EPISODE 9: MAKING FRIENDS WITH YOUR ANXIETY

Get the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Making-Nice-Naughty-Color-Within-Line/dp/0578271389 Listen to the Audio Book: Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/Making-Nice-with-Naughty-Audiobook/B0CGBXCXL9 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fJYYUMfn8ZGhK1qh6Q7a2 Follow Us On: Facebook: facebook.com/mnwnpodcast Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/makingnicewithnaughty Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@makingnicewithnaughty Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/02DlDUMzkM3kudJeJldKX4 ======================================================== In this episode, hosts Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins dive deep into the intricate world of anxiety in the quest for balance and understanding. Join us as we embark on a journey to confront those anxiety-producing beliefs head-on. Contrary to popular belief, you can't control what thoughts arise in your mind, but you can certainly change your relationship with them. Discover the power of observing your mind's production of thought and how it can lead to a newfound sense of peace and balance. Anxieties come in various forms, often manifesting as excessive fears or concerns about impending events. Whether it's worrisome thoughts about intimate relationships or physical sensations like butterflies in the stomach, anxiety can take many shapes. Learn to identify these different forms and understand their underlying causes. But fear not, for anxiety isn't always the enemy. In fact, it can be your evolutionary friend, guiding your attention towards immediate threats and motivating action to preserve what you hold dear. Dr. Murray and Dr. Robbins debunk the notion that anxiety is solely detrimental, shedding light on its adaptive qualities and how it has persisted throughout human evolution. However, not all anxieties are created equal. Unfounded fears can wreak havoc on our mental well-being, blurring the lines between reality and imagination. Discover how your mind's inability to differentiate between thoughts and reality can lead to unhealthy anxieties and learn practical strategies to combat them. Tune in as we explore the complex interplay between our minds and anxiety, and embark on a journey towards greater self-awareness and understanding. Don't let anxiety hold you back – join us on the path to making friends with anxiety! 🌟 #Anxiety #MentalHealth #SelfAwareness #MakingNiceWithNaughty #PodcastEpisode #ConfrontingAnxiety

Mar 01, 202401:20:01
EPISODE 8: HOW DOES ANXIETY IMPACT SEXUAL SATISFACTION?

EPISODE 8: HOW DOES ANXIETY IMPACT SEXUAL SATISFACTION?

Get the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Making-Nice-Naughty-Color-Within-Line/dp/0578271389 Listen to the Audio Book: Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/Making-Nice-with-Naughty-Audiobook/B0CGBXCXL9 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fJYYUMfn8ZGhK1qh6Q7a2 Follow Us On: Facebook: facebook.com/mnwnpodcast Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/makingnicewithnaughty Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@makingnicewithnaughty Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/02DlDUMzkM3kudJeJldKX4 =================================== Join Drs. Frances and Tom Murray in this illuminating conversation as they delve into the intricate realm of anxiety, particularly its profound impact on sexual experiences. This extensive dialogue explores the universal nature of anxiety, its evolutionary roots, and its pervasive influence on various facets of life. The conversation unfolds with an acknowledgment of anxiety as a ubiquitous aspect of the human experience. From its evolutionary origins to its prevalence in daily life, the dialogue lays the groundwork for a profound exploration of anxiety's multifaceted implications, with a specific focus on its role in sexual well-being. Dr. Tom introduces the concept of sexual perfectionism, a collection of beliefs and expectations contributing to anxiety surrounding sexual performance and intimacy. Dr. Frances supplements this perspective by examining societal pressures and personal narratives that foster perfectionistic tendencies in sexual contexts. As the conversation progresses, the focus shifts to the potential benefits of understanding and embracing anxiety, reframing it as a constructive force. Tom advocates for "making anxiety your friend" and underscores the positive relationship between anxiety and sexual satisfaction. Practical considerations come into play as the dialogue addresses the management of anxiety related to medications. Dr. Frances provides valuable guidance for individuals experiencing sexual side effects due to medication, emphasizing proactive communication with healthcare providers and the holistic role of therapy in conjunction with medication. The conversation further explores the identification of anxiety-producing beliefs and thoughts. Dr. Tom outlines clues and emphasizes the future-oriented nature of anxiety. The significance of observation, self-talk, and journaling in understanding anxiety is highlighted, with a focus on taking a pause, cultivating curiosity, and seeking professional help from certified sex therapists. This comprehensive dialogue offers profound insights, practical advice, and a nuanced understanding of anxiety's intricate role in sexual well-being. Join Drs. Frances and Tom on this enlightening journey as they pave the way for strategies aimed at making anxiety a constructive force within the context of intimate relationships. #SexualAnxiety #AnxietyDiscussion #IntimateRelationships #MentalHealthAwareness #WellnessJourney #TherapyInsights #RelationshipAdvice

Mar 01, 202401:01:40
EPISODE 7: LET YOUR VALUES GUIDE YOU

EPISODE 7: LET YOUR VALUES GUIDE YOU

Get the Book Here: https://www.amazon.com/Making-Nice-Naughty-Color-Within-Line/dp/0578271389 Listen to the Audio Book: Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/Making-Nice-with-Naughty-Audiobook/B0CGBXCXL9 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2fJYYUMfn8ZGhK1qh6Q7a2 Follow Us On: Facebook: facebook.com/mnwnpodcast Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/makingnicewithnaughty Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@makingnicewithnaughty Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/02DlDUMzkM3kudJeJldKX4 ============================================================ In this engaging episode, Drs. Tom Murray and Frances Robbins delve into Chapter 6 of "Making Nice with Naughty," exploring the transformative role of values in guiding life's journey. A touching anecdote from a reader, whose mental health provider recommended the book, highlights its resonance in addressing over-controlled scenarios. Dr. Tom introduces the metaphor of values as a North Star, steering individuals through life's vast uncertainties. He emphasizes the core role of values in defining 'who you are not' and aligning actions with what truly matters. The discussion unravels the intricate dynamics of regret, entitlement, and discontent, shedding light on how recognizing and embracing one's values can bring clarity, mitigate regret, and alleviate prolonged discontent. The duo unravels the intricate connection between regret, entitlement, and discontent. Tom's insightful perspective on regret as an illusion of entitlement to positive outcomes adds depth to the discussion. They explore the transformation of regret into resentment and how both emotions signal a departure from living in accordance with one's values. Dr. Frances skillfully navigates the conversation towards prolonged discontent, seeking clarity on its duration. Dr. Tom defines prolonged discontent as persisting for a few hours or more and attributes it to a fixation on factors beyond one's control or a failure to act on what is within one's control. Discover the transformative power of recognizing your North Star—your values—and the impact it can have on mitigating regret, overcoming entitlement, and addressing prolonged discontent. Share your thoughts in the comments and let's embark on this journey together! #ValuesGuidance #MakingNiceWithNaughty #LifeJourney #TomMurray #SelfDiscovery #Empowerment #BookDiscussion #NorthStarValues #Resonance #TransformativeRead #MindfulLiving #NavigateWithValues

Mar 01, 202459:51
EPISODE 6: DO YOUR EYES LIGHT UP?!

EPISODE 6: DO YOUR EYES LIGHT UP?!

Welcome to Making Nice with Naughty, the podcast where Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins dive deep into the realms of human behavior and relationships. In today's episode, titled "Do Your Eyes Light Up," we explore the intriguing concept of hypervigilance within an over-controlled temperament. "Do Your Eyes Light Up?" Join us as we unpack the insights from Dr. Tom's book and discuss the impact of hypervigilance on relationships. Frances, having just completed chapter five, brings her unique perspective as an older reader and shares personal experiences related to the topic. 🤔 What is Hypervigilance? Dr. Tom delves into the concept inspired by Toni Morrison's quote, shedding light on how over-controlled individuals can become so absorbed in mind chatter and concerns about potential catastrophes that they miss the opportunity to appreciate their partners with fresh eyes. 🌟 Connect with Us If this is your first time tuning in, we encourage you to start from the beginning of our podcast journey. Subscribe, like, and share your thoughts in the comments! We love hearing from our listeners as we navigate through the chapters of self-discovery Follow Us On: Facebook: facebook.com/mnwnpodcast Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/makingnicewithnaughty Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@makingnicewithnaughty Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/02DlDUMzkM3kudJeJldKX4

Feb 29, 202401:26:13
EPISODE 5: THE WORK OF BRYON KATIE - WORKSHOP

EPISODE 5: THE WORK OF BRYON KATIE - WORKSHOP

In this insightful episode, Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins guide you through the profound teachings of Byron Katie and her method known as "The Work." Uncover the simplicity, pragmatism, and procedural approach to understanding your own mind chatter. Discover how these internal dialogues shape your experiences and, more importantly, how you can take charge of them. By working through the transformative process outlined by Byron Katie, our aim is to provide you with practical insights, enabling you to navigate your thoughts and beliefs in a way that promotes personal growth and emotional well-being. Tune in to gain a sense of how this method can bring about positive shifts in your perspective, ultimately leading to a more fulfilled and mindful existence.

Feb 29, 202441:08
EPISODE 4: LET GO OF YOUR EGO

EPISODE 4: LET GO OF YOUR EGO

Welcome back to Making Nice with Naughty, the podcast where Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins dive deep into the overcontrolled temperament and its impact on our sexual lives. In this episode, our hosts explore the fascinating topic of "Ego." Join Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins as they navigate through the Freudian and Buddhist perspectives on the ego, shedding light on the conditioned self and the narrative of identity shaped by external forces. Discover the crucial distinction between the observer and the thoughts being observed, unraveling the essence of true self-awareness. Explore the impact of childhood conditioning on worldview and optimism, with insights from Martin Seligman's research. The hosts discuss the internal dialogue in anxiety and depression, highlighting the ego's role in perpetuating suffering. Gain valuable perspectives on personality development and the ego's constant quest for relevance. Delve into the fixed and fatalistic mindsets, understanding their influence on goal orientation, resilience, and response to feedback. Discover how the ego's struggle for relevance leads to the creation of drama and impedes true presence. Learn about the flexible mindset, the importance of compersion in polyamorous relationships, and the role of love in accepting others as they wish to be. The hosts candidly share personal experiences and offer psychological tools, including nature walks, Byron Katie's cognitive process, and the power of being fully present. Challenge the heaviness of your thoughts and discover the liberation that comes with aligning with reality. Thanks for tuning in to another insightful episode of Making Nice with Naughty! Remember, your true self awaits when you let go of the ego's grip. Like, share, and subscribe for more engaging conversations on relationships, sexuality, and the journey to self-discovery.

Jan 15, 202401:02:30
EPISODE 3: SEXUAL CONFIDENCE

EPISODE 3: SEXUAL CONFIDENCE

Welcome back to another empowering episode of "Making Nice with Naughty"! In Episode 3, your insightful hosts, Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins, dive into the intriguing topic of "Sexual Confidence." As always, "Making Nice with Naughty" combines expert advice with relatable discussions, creating a safe space to explore and understand the complexities of sexuality. Tune in for a conversation that goes beyond the surface, providing valuable tools to boost your sexual confidence and navigate the intricacies of intimacy. Don't forget to subscribe, like, and hit the notification bell to stay updated on all our episodes. 💬 Join the discussion! Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions about sexual confidence in the comments below. Your insights may inspire others on their journey to greater intimacy and self-discovery.

Dec 06, 202301:00:18
EPISODE 2: EMOTIONAL LEAKAGE - MAKING NICE WITH NAUGHTY PODCAST

EPISODE 2: EMOTIONAL LEAKAGE - MAKING NICE WITH NAUGHTY PODCAST

Welcome to another insightful episode of "Making Nice with Naughty"! In this episode, hosts Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins explore a fascinating topic that affects us all: "Emotional Leakage." Have you ever wondered why your true feelings seem to seep through, even when you're trying to keep them under wraps? Join Dr. Tom Murray, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Dr. Frances Robbins, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner, as they unravel the intricacies of emotional leakage. In this thought-provoking episode, our hosts delve into the concept of emotional leakage — those subtle cues, nonverbal expressions, and unintentional slips that reveal our authentic emotions. Discover how these leaks can impact relationships, both personally and professionally, and gain valuable insights into understanding your own emotions and those of others. As always, "Making Nice with Naughty" combines professional expertise with relatable discussions, providing practical insights to enhance your emotional intelligence and interpersonal connections. Tune in to explore the world of emotional leakage with Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins. Don't forget to subscribe, like, and hit the notification bell to stay updated on our latest episodes. Join the conversation! Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions about emotional leakage in the comments below. Your input may inspire future episodes and help others navigate the intricacies of emotional expression. For more resources and in-depth insights, visit Spotify and Subscribe to our Youtube channel and consider grabbing a copy of Dr. Tom Murray's book, "Making Nice with Naughty." Spotify: Making Nice with Naughty Podcast 🌈 Thank you for being a part of the "Making Nice with Naughty" community. Your journey to self-discovery and improved connections starts here. Stay tuned for more episodes, and remember to embrace the beauty of emotional authenticity! 💖 #EmotionalLeakage #MakingNiceWithNaughty #PodcastEpisode #emotionalintelligence

Dec 06, 202347:43
EPISODE 1: MAKING NICE WITH NAUGHTY - PILOT EPISODE

EPISODE 1: MAKING NICE WITH NAUGHTY - PILOT EPISODE

Welcome to the "Making Nice with Naughty" podcast, where we explore the fascinating world of intimacy for the rule-following, organized, perfectionist, practical, and color-within-the-lines types. Join your hosts, Dr. Tom Murray and Dr. Frances Robbins, as they navigate the delicate balance of connection and structure in matters of the heart. In this episode, Dr. Tom Murray, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist, introduces his book, "Making Nice with Naughty." This intimacy guide is tailored for individuals who thrive on rules and organization but seek to enhance their romantic lives. 👋 Dr. Frances Robbins, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner with a doctorate in business and master's degrees in nursing and international health, joins the conversation. Together, they delve into the unique perspective that Frances brings to the podcast, discussing the intersection of mental health, business, and intimate relationships. 🌟 Whether you're a perfectionist or someone who colors within the lines, this podcast promises practical insights, expert advice, and personal stories to guide you on the journey of intimacy while staying true to your structured nature. 🎧 Tune in to "Making Nice with Naughty" for a blend of professional expertise and relatable discussions on love, relationships, and maintaining order in the chaos of romance. 📚 Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review if you enjoy the podcast. Your feedback helps us grow and provides valuable insights into the topics that matter most to you. 🔗 Connect with us on social media [insert social media handles] to share your thoughts, ask questions, and join the conversation. We love hearing from our listeners! 📖 For more in-depth insights, grab a copy of Dr. Tom Murray's book, "Making Nice with Naughty," available now. 🎉 Thank you for joining us on this journey of self-discovery and connection. Stay tuned for more episodes, and until next time, keep making nice with naughty! 🌈💖 #MakingNiceWithNaughty #IntimacyPodcast #LoveAndConnection

Dec 06, 202341:30
Spermageddon: Unraveling the Crisis of Male Fertility and Plummeting Sperm Counts!

Spermageddon: Unraveling the Crisis of Male Fertility and Plummeting Sperm Counts!

Struggling with infertility is an emotional rollercoaster, from negative pregnancy tests to heart-wrenching miscarriages. The stress of conceiving a child can be overwhelming.

In a recent groundbreaking study, scientists have made a shocking discovery - sperm counts are plummeting at an alarming rate, far beyond previous estimations. The findings have left the world in awe, wondering what factors are driving this concerning trend and whether it can be reversed.

Over the past five decades, the international research team reveals that sperm counts have more than halved globally, and what's more worrisome is that this decline shows no signs of slowing down. As the implications of this trend become increasingly apparent, concerns have been raised about the potential consequences for humanity's future.

Could this decline in sperm counts become an issue too significant to overlook, with the fate of mankind's survival hanging in the balance? Join us as we delve into the study's findings, investigate the possible drivers behind this crisis, and explore the hope and potential solutions to tackle this pressing global challenge.

Jul 21, 202354:15
Overcontrol: Can Perfectionism Ruin Your Sex Life? - With Eggshell Transformations by Imi Lo

Overcontrol: Can Perfectionism Ruin Your Sex Life? - With Eggshell Transformations by Imi Lo

In this conversation between Imi and Dr. Tom, a sex therapist, they discuss the concept of overcontrol, which refers to having too much self-control that can impede one’s ability to connect with others. Dr. Tom explains that people who lean towards over control tend to fear vulnerability and often struggle in intimate and sexual relationships. He also notes that symptoms of overcontrol can include being aloof, risk-averse, and rejection-sensitive. The conversation highlights the importance of authentic connections and a willingness to be vulnerable in building healthy relationships.

Apr 10, 202352:35
Sex Therapy with Perfectionists: An Interview with Dr. Tom Murray

Sex Therapy with Perfectionists: An Interview with Dr. Tom Murray

Curt and Katie speak with Dr. Tom Murray regarding therapy for individuals with an overcontrolled temperament in relation to their sexual experiences. During the interview, they discuss the impact of temperament on sexual relationships, common oversights made by therapists in discussions about sex, and what an effective sex therapy session might entail for clients with this temperament.

Feb 13, 202335:53
The Book-Writing Journey to Making Nice with Naughty with Dr. Tom Murray

The Book-Writing Journey to Making Nice with Naughty with Dr. Tom Murray

Lots of people fantasize about writing a book, but not everyone takes the plunge! In this episode, you'll hear Dr. Tom Murray talk about his journey from book idea to published author. He'll discuss his personal process, the challenges he faced, and the tips and tricks he learned along the way. Whether you're considering writing a book or just want to be inspired, this episode is for you. Plus, it's packed with fascinating sex education information as well.

Jan 26, 202346:55
Discernment Counseling: The Better Option for Couples on the Brink of Divorce

Discernment Counseling: The Better Option for Couples on the Brink of Divorce

On this episode of Kate Anthony's Your Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, she's joined by Dr. Tom Murray. Dr. Tom is an expert in sexuality and intimate relationships, and he's here to discuss the difference between discernment counseling and couples therapy. We get to the root of why couples therapy might not be the best option for everyone, and how discernment counseling could be a better solution. This is a great discussion for anyone who's considering counseling or therapy for their relationship.

Jan 20, 202346:18