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Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

By Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

Join Mona Kay as she focuses on increasing understanding of the strengths, differences, and challenges in mixed neurotype relationships. Whether you're autistic, neurotypical or allistic, this podcast is for you! Knowing how your neurology may impact your communication style, emotional and social needs, processing speeds, sensory needs and sexual and physical intimacy desires is critical, especially in your romantic relationships. Listen in and learn about other's lived experiences, lessons learned, and strategies for understanding how neurological differences can impact your relationship.
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Thriving Beyond Cassandra and Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome --Lisa Anzaldua

Neurodiverse Love with Mona KayApr 11, 2023

00:00
53:27
Finding New Ways to Heal Trauma and Live Your Best Life with Psychedelics-Jill Corvelli

Finding New Ways to Heal Trauma and Live Your Best Life with Psychedelics-Jill Corvelli

Mona's next Neurodiverse Couples Support Group begins in April. The group meets for 4 weeks from 7:30-9pm EST on 4/11, 4/18, 4/25 & 5/2. The investment is ONLY $199 per couple and there are only a few spots left. If you want to better understand the differences you and your partner may be experiencing in communication, emotional reciprocity, socializing, executive function, sensory sensitivities and physical intimacy click here to register or go to www.neurodiverselove.com _________________________________________________ On this episode, Dr. Jill Corvelli talks about the 4th component of her ND Compass Method. The first 3 components are: Education; Niche Construction; and Differentiation. The 4th and final component is: Autonomic Rese,t which includes work with Ketamine and Psyilocybin.  Other topics discussed include: When there is chronic relationship trauma the dendrite stalks get worn away. Memory consolidation makes ongoing present moment roadblocks EMDR can help with healing in 1-6 sessions Need to find a way of resetting our nervous system or we are constantly in a flight, fight, freeze, or fawn response state Research shows that the "default mode network" (DMN) is different in ND folks Lower level of neurotransmitters in ADHD brain. Stress and cortisol can make neurons and dendrites atrophy and they can’t communicate Release of BDNF regenerates what trauma has withered away! Not everyone is eligible for Ketamine.  You need an assessment and it needs to be done with a licensed therapist. Jill is starting 2 new groups for innate healing and neuroplastic reset for those eligible to safely and clinically participate. Jill's co-leader, Mary Beathea is a nurse Group 1-Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy group for women in complex relationships. May 7-9 onsite in Oregon.  This is not a processing group it is an intervention group.  Three prep sessions by Zoom and then 2 dosing sessions in Oregon.  Then 3 integration sessions where you make sense of the experience with a group. Group 2-Psilocybin group for complex couples. Meets September 26-28 in Oregon. Ketamine provides an amazing assist with rapid therapeutic change, neuroplastic window, more cognitive flexibility to do work in, insight and clarity to reframe important life issues, lay down defenses, overcome obstacles, navigate obstacles that caused stress, and recover self, increase window of tolerance, get unstuck, work assist, recovery of self. https://www.ndpartnerscompass.com/courses/women-complex-partnerships-ketamine-retreat  b) Psilocybin-Same neuroplastic reset- dendrites fertilized regrowth, liquid compassion Psilocybin- sacred perspective, part self and part wisdom, other places of sacredness. Decisions, obstacles, innate healing activated https://www.ndpartnerscompass.com/courses/complex-couples-psilocybin-assisted-group-therapy   In addition, Jill is providing adjunct support in collaboration with a couple or individual’s regular therapist. For adjunct services there is no wait list. Jill provides up to 6 sessions of Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy and EMDR in NJ, OR, WA (can travel in) and Jill's ND Compass Method is available everywhere. You can contact Jill at: jill@jillcorvelli.com and ndpartnersinstitute.com   PLEASE NOTE: Psilocybin is legal at the state level in Oregon for regulated use in certified service centers with certified facilitators. It remains federally illegal-(much like cannabis). It has been identified as a break through drug at the federal level fueling research and strong potential change in its scheduling and legal status. Many states are also looking to follow Oregon in providing accessibility for its demonstrated ability to quickly resolve treatment resistant depression, anxiety, and addiction. Ketamine is federally and state legal with FDA approval for anesthetic use and not FDA approved but commonly and legally prescribed for off label use for treatment of depression, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, and other issues.
Mar 26, 202435:40
Love & Marriage, Trauma, Healing and Coaching-Jill Kearns

Love & Marriage, Trauma, Healing and Coaching-Jill Kearns

You can buy the downloadable digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards (ONLY $11) or the Workbook (ONLY $12.97) at www.neurodiverselove.com If you would like to purchase the "Strategies & Tools for Increasing Healthy & Respectful Communication" workshop with Greg Fuqua, LMHC and Mona Kay, MSW. Ph.D. click here. The recording and the workshop workbook are available for ONLY $97. In addition, you will receive a discount code to purchase the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook for ONLY $1 for each __________________________________________________ During this episode, AANE Certified Neurodiverse Couples Counselor and Coach, Jill Kearns shares some of the lessons she learned and her lived experience in her neurodiverse marriage of almost 40 years. Other topics addressed include: Emotional neglect Cassandra Syndrome When trust is broken Living parallel lives Feeling alone and unsafe and pushed out by the tribe The importance of the book "The Body Keeps the Score" The impact of significant trauma Alexythymia The pain of choosing to either stay or leave is real Masking in public, but different behind closed doors Flooded with stress hormones Not being able to emotionally regulate Using alcohol to dull the pain Memory and attention problems, chronic irritability and sleep problems 18 months of chronic physical problems Chronic interpersonal trauma Healing through self-awareness, mindfulness, meditation, self-care, positive relationships, and EMDR Apologies and forgiveness Neurodiverse Couple Trauma Cycle There is hope! Lack of understanding is mostly a disaster, while knowledge can be the key to success. If you would like to contact Jill you can check out her website at: www.neurodiversecouplescounselling.com.au or email her at: jill.e.kearns@gmail.com For more information on the Neurodiverse Couples Trauma Cycle check out: https://www.neurodiversecouplescounseling.com/trauma-cycle
Mar 19, 202401:17:59
Challenges and Strengths of Parenting in a Neurodiverse Relationship-Guest Co-host Greg Fuqua

Challenges and Strengths of Parenting in a Neurodiverse Relationship-Guest Co-host Greg Fuqua

If you and your partner are looking for ways to improve your communication in your mixed neurotype relationship, then⁠ click here⁠ to purchase the recorded workshop with Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay titled: "Strategies and Tools for Increasing Healthy and Respectful Communication in Your Neurodiverse Relationship".

The topics that are addressed include: 1) Rituals of Communication. 2) Healthy Communication Structures. 3) Reciprocity and Turn Taking. 4) Perspective Taking and Conflict Resolution. 5) Tools for Communicating Changes Wanted and Needed.

The investment for this workshop is ONLY $97 and each participant will receive a Communication Workbook and a code to purchase the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11 value) and the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97 value) for only $1 each!

_______________________________________________________________

During this episode, Mona and Greg talk about their lived experiences co-parenting with a partner who has a different neurotype. They share some of the lessons they both learned, things they now understand and would have done differently, as well as the strengths in their co-parenting relationships. In addition, they address many other topics including:

  • Having shame around parenting because it can reveal some of our issues around neurodivergence. 
  • ND mind needs time to recover and the parenting demands may make it seem like they don’t have space to recover.
  • Being great in emergency and crisis situations.  Hyperfocus can be very helpful.
  • Needing to engage in activities and having a role during an event.
  • When only one parent goes to most school activities, birthday parties and other events that involve other kids.
  • Identify your stylistic differences, preferences, strengths and roles as parents.
  • Sensory overload and not knowing your sensory profile can create lots of challenges.
  • Parents may experience emotional overload or overwhelm because they don't understand each other's neurological differences.
  • One parent may be the safe person for the children to go to.
  • May feel like you have an angry and unavailable partner.
  • Try not to identify your partner by their most vulnerable and difficult moments.
  • The importance of recognizing relational trauma and neurodivergence legacy.
  • Understanding that our neurodivergent traits may be passed down to our children.
  • Take time to talk to your child about how you may not have been able to meet their needs. 
  • How alexithymia may impact the parent-child dynamic.
  • Not being able to tolerate highly emotional situations like screaming or intense crying.
  • Kids may feel like they have to  “walk on eggshells” with a parent.
  • Understanding how screaming or shutting down can impact your children.
  • Understanding an ND partner may not engage in certain parenting responsibilities because they don’t want to get it wrong.
  • One parent may experience shame around what they feel they can’t do as a parent.
  • Your passions or special interests may be places where you can bond and connect with your kids.
  • Kids attune to each parent and seek “attachment”
  • Be a student to your kid and learn from them and understand their needs and personality.
  • The way your family thrives may be SO different from other families...and that’s okay.
  • Understand that the maintenance of your relationship with your college age or adult child may change.
  • The need for mutuality and reciprocity.
  • Being clear about what the adult child needs from their parent.
  • When you feel something positive about your child tell them.
  • Connect with your adult child on a regular basis and consider adding a reminder to your calendar to reach out to them.

If you would like to learn more about the support groups and other resources Mona offers, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

If you would like to contact Greg, you can check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com

Mar 12, 202451:09
The Ups and Downs of a Growth Mindset in a Mixed Neurotype Relationship-Tristan and Renee

The Ups and Downs of a Growth Mindset in a Mixed Neurotype Relationship-Tristan and Renee

If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that I co-facilitate with Jodi Carlton called "Navigating Decisions and Choices in Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: https://jodicarlton.com/groups/ The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on Zoom on the 1st Wednesday of each month. In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) you can click here Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community! _______________________________________________________ During this episode of the podcast, Mona has an opportunity to talk with Tristan and Renee who recently learned that they are a mixed neurotype couple. Tristan identifies as having some traits of what used to be identified as Asperger's and Renee identifies as ADHD. Throughout this conversation, both Tristan and Renee share the struggles and growth they have experienced individually, as a couple and as a neurodiverse family with two young children. Other topics addressed include:

  • Their different perspectives on their relationship when they first met.
  • When one partner is clear about the path for the relationship, but hasn't communicated it to the other person: ie: if you're pursuing someone, it's only for marriage.
  • Codependency and trying to solve other people's problems.
  • Not understanding when you have poor boundaries.
  • Supression of emotions and being hypervigilant.
  • When you have neurodivergent traits, but would not be diagnosed based on the current criteria.
  • Anger is a sign of fear.
  • We all deserve to do the things we love and live a life with peace, freedom and a lasting, healthy relationship.
  • Communicate what you need and how your brain and emotions work.
  • When your faith helps keep you together.
  • Agape love can be a transforming force.
  • Do we actually change or just begin to see things differently?
  • How are you supporting each other as you each become more of your authentic selves?
  • The pain needs to pay off somehow and it might be used to help others who are having similar challenges.
  • What does it look like to love the future version of your partner?
  • The value of learning and using the Imago Process by Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt LaKelly
  • Your partner may feel like they have the solution to every problem.
  • Choosing to be more assertive.
  • When people are emotional they may say things they don't mean!
  • In other cultures they accept people being in crisis and believe they can work through it and get to the other side.
  • You can crash and burn, but it's not the final destination.
  • Sometimes we need our partner to do more then just listen and respond appropriately...we need empathy.
  • The interplay between the masculine and feminine.

To contact Tristan and Renee you can go to: www.purposeadvisory.com.au or send an email to: tristan@purposeadvisory.com.au

Mar 05, 202401:09:02
The Grief Recovery Method: Helping Heal What We May Not Have Understood-Rachelle Jones

The Grief Recovery Method: Helping Heal What We May Not Have Understood-Rachelle Jones

For more information about the resources Mona has available go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

WARNING: During this episode we talk briefly about suicide, suicidal thoughts, & sexual abuse, so please be aware of this and take care of yourself if this discussion may be a trigger for you. During this episode, Rachelle Jones-Grief Recovery Specialist shares information about her own neurodiverse marriage & family, as well as how an evidenced based model for grief recovery can provide the tools and strategies that can help you understand & process grief. Rachelle talks about her own grief recovery process and how her mission is now to help others heal in more healthy ways. The other topics discussed during this episode include:

  • How this model gives us grace, compassion and curiousity.
  • Understanding what work and change we each have to do.
  • Determine what your "truth" is.
  • Apply the" Grief Recovery Model" tools everytime you need them.
  • Remember that each partner comes into the relationship with "their" issues, whether they understand them or not.
  • We may say and do things out of our "emotional reaction".
  • Understanding when your truth may be that you're feeling really hurt and unloved and it can be because something that is currently happening reminds you of an issue from the past.
  • Remembering that your partner doesn't "make" you feel anything, however then can "leave" you feeling a particular way.
  • Understand what your reactions and emotions are connected to and understanding our unmet hopes, needs and expectations.
  • Unexpressed hopes and expectations can create grief.
  • Long delays in responses from our partner can leave us feeling unloved and uncared for.
  • Find, acknowledge and express our "truth" and provide the space and time for our partner to do the same.
  • Unintentional pain can be caused when we don't know how to move through and heal grief.
  • Grief is cumulatively negative.
  • Loss of hope, dreams and expectation are all grief moments.
  • Suicide is usually about needing the pain to end and not thinking that it every will.
  • Get honest that time isn't going to heal the grief.
  • Understanding that we can't replace the loss.
  • Grieving by yourself is probably not working.
  • Keeping busy does not heal grief.
  • Your real strength is sitting in the heartache and acknowledging what is real.
  • Time is not going to heal the grief, but taking action can begin the healing process.
  • Unresolved emotions can come out as physical health problems.
  • Short term energy relieving behaviors (STERB's) work for a little while, but don't work long term.
  • STERB's can be socially acceptable, but don't heal the grief.
  • It is important to understand what we are doing to cope and feel better, and then try to help ourselves so we don't feel the pain so intensely.
  • Have a sip of grace for yourself and your partner.
  • Be able to say "I don't know what I'm doing here", however we can find the tools and strategies to move forward.
  • Judging yourself or your partner is not going to make things better. However, accepting and understanding that you have different ways of experiencing life and dealing with your emotions and grieving can be life changing.
  • We each feel our emotions differently and go through the grieving process differently.


If you would like to contact Rachelle you can check out her website at: www.griefrecoverywithrachelle.com or you can follow her on IG @GRWRachelle

If you would like to work with Rachelle, she has created a scholarship code for my listeners to get a 20% discount on tuirtion for any of her classess. The code is: MonaNDLove. Rachelle offers an 8 week classs for individual training or group training and a 2 1/2-day class for individual or group training.

For more information about the evidenced based Grief Recovery Method you can go to: www.griefrecoverymethodc.com


If you are in the United States and are experiencing suicidal thoughts you can dial 988 for the Suicide Prevention Hotline or go to www.988lifeline.org


Feb 27, 202453:12
The Couple Dynamic When One Partner is Autistic and the Other is ADHD-Guest Co-Host Greg Fuqua

The Couple Dynamic When One Partner is Autistic and the Other is ADHD-Guest Co-Host Greg Fuqua

If you and your partner are looking for ways to improve your communication in your mixed neurotype relationship, then click here to purchase the recorded workshop with Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay titled: "Strategies and Tools for Increasing Healthy and Respectful Communication in Your Neurodiverse Relationship".

The topics that are addressed include: 1) Rituals of Communication. 2) Healthy Communication Structures. 3) Reciprocity and Turn Taking. 4) Perspective Taking and Conflict Resolution. 5) Tools for Communicating Changes Wanted and Needed.

The investment for this workshop is ONLY $97 and each participant will receive a Communication Workbook and a code to purchase the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11 value) and the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97 value) for only $1 each! _______________________________________________________ During this episode, Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay talk about some of the strengths, challenges and differences that may be present when one partner is Autistic and the other is ADHD. Greg has this dynamic in his marriage and Mona had this dynamic in her 30 year marriage, so they both share a lot of their personal experiences, as well as those they have seen in other couples with these mixed neurotypes. The topics addressed include: Externalized energy vs internalized energy. One partner may be a "bridge" for the other. Differences and overlaps and shared understanding. Anxious pursuer vs avoidant. Timing is the key to find moments to connect. In-depth knowledge vs chasing a new thing. External calm and patience vs lots of outer energy and a desire for change. Having different processing preferences. Ability to jump around vs going deep with one subject. The need for autonomy and freedom or feeling like you have to repress your needs. Understanding emotional dysregulation and self-soothing. Being hyperverbal vs hypoverbal. How knowing each other's neurotypes can help explain why you both may be having challenges. Tracking each others mood and stress and attuning to each other, rather then judging and creating conflict. Valuing each others different processing styles. Understanding unidentified sensitivities. Being vulnerable vs intellectualizing emotions and growing in emotional vulnerability. Focusing on your strengths and connection as a couple can help you rebuild and transform your relationship. If you would like to contact Greg you can email him at gfuqua70@gmail.com or check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com If you would like to learn more about the support groups or other resources that Mona offers, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com or email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com


Feb 20, 202447:52
Cultivating Positive Feelings, Affection, Appreciation and Commitment-Guest Co-host Greg Fuqua

Cultivating Positive Feelings, Affection, Appreciation and Commitment-Guest Co-host Greg Fuqua

If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton co-facilitate called "Navigating Decisions and Choices in Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: jodicarlton.com/groups/ The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on Zoom on the 1st Wednesday of each month.

In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) you can ⁠click here ⁠

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!
__________________________________________
During this episode, Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay talk about the different ways mixed neurotype couples can create more positive feelings for each other and how they can find ways to show more affection and appreciation in their relationship. The other topics discussed include:

Understanding your partners "owners manual", which includes their history, trauma, what they need for repair after conflict, their neurotype, love language, deficits, strengths, relational trauma and triggers.
The importance of reciprocity and mutuality.
Remembering that relationships require maintenance.
Engaging in small gestures that address each others needs and wants.
Preparation and negotiation are important in a mixed neurotype relationship.
When your "love tank" is empty it is very easy to have raw and hurtful experiences.
Understanding what leads to a culture of appreciation and reciprocity.
Healthy internalization rather then toxic externalization.
Talk about processes so both partners understand what happened.
Being romantic and vulnerable can feel "too much".
Alexythymia and love can create "short circuits".
Internalizing things can give very little space for interaction with your partner.
Being shamed for having intense feelings and how important it is to create safety in your relationship for sharing your feelings and emotions.
If you have positive thoughts about your partner...say it!
Own what's yours and understand your triggers.
Understand and take care of your hurt "parts" and wounds.
Take a pause when angry and start with an "I" statement and/or a statement of empathy.


If you would like to learn more about the support groups and other resources Mona offers, you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
If you would like to contact Greg, you can check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com
Feb 13, 202438:30
Different Needs for Socializing and Family Time-Guest Co-Host Greg Fuqua

Different Needs for Socializing and Family Time-Guest Co-Host Greg Fuqua

If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton co-facilitate called "Navigating Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: https://jodicarlton.com/groups/ The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on the 1st Wednesday of each month. In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) go to www.neurodiverselove.com Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community! _______________________________________________________ Welcome to Season 7 of the Neurodiverse Love Podcast.

During this episode and many more throughout the season, Greg Fuqua, LMHC is co-hosting the podcast with Mona Kay. This episode is focused on the different needs each partner may have related to socializing and family time. The topics addressed include:
◦ Connection with people when it's within your partners capacity.

◦ Bowing out of planned events and experiencing questioning and disappointment from family members when they don't understand.
◦ Experiencing anxiety when asking for your needs to be met.
◦ When you aren’t “out” to everyone in your family about being neurodivergent.
◦ Having a specific role at family events can be very important to help get connection to self.
◦ The importance of downtime and a transition period.
◦ Understanding what each partner needs during socializing.
◦ Social differences are not deficits.
◦ Plan and prepare beforehand, so you know what is coming and what the expectations are.
◦ Having an exit plan and having support around that is important.
◦ Needing a way for self-soothing, alone time and recovery.
◦ Running late because you may not understand each others needs.
◦ Taking separate cars to an event can be helpful.
◦ Reducing anxiety by planning and preparing together, then debrief after the event to learn what you can each do better in the future.
◦ Including both "open" and "down" time into the socializing event can be helpful. May also want to schedule in time for your partners special interest.
◦ Remember that everyone wants to be seen, known, valued and understood.
◦ Past relational trauma may impact decision making around socializing and date nights.
◦ Family time with kids can also be challenging because the “expectations” may never stop.
◦ Be aware of sensory overload or overstimulation.
◦ Understanding that change of plans may be difficult and lead to anger or irritability.
◦ Develop habits and rituals around communication.
◦ Make sure your autistic partner has time for recovery.
◦ Understand your capacity and how much you can socialize based on the stress you have experienced that day.
If you would like to contact Greg Fuqua, please check out his website at: www.gregfuqua.com

Feb 06, 202432:55
Things to Consider When Traveling as a Neurodiverse Couple

Things to Consider When Traveling as a Neurodiverse Couple

If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that I co-facilitate with Jodi Carlton called "Navigating Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: https://jodicarlton.com/groups/ The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on Zoom on the 1st Wednesday of each month. In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) go to www.neurodiverselove.com Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community! __________________________________________________________________

During this solo episode, Mona shares some information that might be helpful for neurodiverse couples to think about before they begin traveling together:

  • sensory overload
  • alone time needed
  • the importance of routine
  • small talk and socializing with strangers
  • planning out everything
  • being flexible
  • trying new adventures
  • sitting or flying for long periods of time
  • food preferences
  • structured mealtimes
  • having a sense of humor
Jan 30, 202419:42
Differences in Executive Functioning and Emotional Fluency through Word Pictures with Enoch-Part 2

Differences in Executive Functioning and Emotional Fluency through Word Pictures with Enoch-Part 2

If you would like to join the "mixed neurotype" support group that I co-facilitate with Jodi Carlton called "Navigating Your Neurodiverse Relationship" you can register at: jodicarlton.com/groups/
The cost is ONLY $25 per session and we offer 2 groups (12:30-2PM EST and 6:30-8pm EST) and they both meet on the 1st Wednesday of each month.

In addition, if you would like to order the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11) or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97) go to www.neurodiverselove.com

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!
_______________________________________________________
Enoch is back for "Part 2" of our conversation together so that he can share a few more of the word pictures he developed. Each of these were created to provide more depth about what he experienced in his neurodiverse marriage and what he has heard others describe about their relationship.
The word pictures discussed are:

CPU's single threaded vs multi-threaded-this word picture addresses executive functioning and the effect it can have on "time awareness"; the ability to handle multiple realities at the same time (theory of mind); the importance of a "hypervisor" to conduct the different streams; and process sensory inputs (non-verbal communication).
The 5 A's: acknowledge treasures; anticipate needs; accommodate; appreciate; and adore.
Monochrome vs Color (emotional fluency differences and the ability to perceive and react in real time and not through a cognitive algorithmic analysis)-when one partner experiences things through contract and the other through nuance and intensity. When partners show and/or talk about their feelings in different ways (verbal and/or non-verbal).
The Funny Car-is usually found on a drag race strip and excels at what it does. When the car is purchased and it is taken off the track it has trouble managing traffic, braking, and turning sharp corners.


Enoch ends the episode with some important questions for the non-autistic/NT partner to consider:
1) Where on the "spectrum" does the NT find themselves between a partner and a caregiver?
2) What are reasonable expectations that an NT may have?
3) Are there enough positives to sustain a relationship that may be lacking in some types of reciprocity and partnership?
To learn more about Enoch and the resources he has collected on neurodiverse relationships and neurodiversity, you can check out his website at: www.Ifgodwhy/ND or email him at: ifgodwhy@gmail.com
Jan 23, 202401:10:07
Orion Kelly-That Autistic Guy-Insights About What Makes His Neurodiverse Relationship Work

Orion Kelly-That Autistic Guy-Insights About What Makes His Neurodiverse Relationship Work

If you are interested in attending the mixed neurotype support group that Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton co-facilitate, called "Navigating Your Neurodiverse Relationship" the cost is only $25 per session. We meet monthly on the first Wednesday of the month and we offer 2 groups. One meets at 12:30pm EST and the other meets at 6:30pm EST. You can ⁠⁠click here⁠⁠ to register for the upcoming group.

In addition, check out Mona's website at:
www.neurodiverselove.com if you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards for ONLY $11, or the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook for ONLY $12.97

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!
______________________________________________________
During this episode, Orion Kelly-That Autistic Guy on YouTube shares insights into what makes his neurodiverse relationship work and how he feels about being a husband, father and a member of "The Lost Generation". Orion also shares how he uses his skills as a content creator to help others and highlights his commitment to making sure his autistic son has a better life then he has had.
Some of the other topics addressed on this episode are:

What it feels like to be considered bad or broken, ostracized or bullied.
Your purpose is your gift and what you're good at and the importance of finding your skills and then giving them away.
Why dating and relationships can be hard for some neurodivergent people.
How his communication style impacted his dating life.
Finding a partner who understands you and can accept you.
Being seen as funny, rather then offensive.
Self loathing, self-hatred, and a lack of worth when you know you're different.
You can't tell a PC to be a Mac!
Not being able to accept compliments, because words don't matter, actions do.
Understanding that your autistic partner has a neurodevelopmental disability.
Understanding what your partner's emotional intimacy needs are.
The importance of individual therapy and applying what you learn.
Trying to fix things, rather then listening to understand.
Looking at the other person's perspective.
Differences in brains can be a supportive thing in a romantic relationship.
Understanding your autistic partner's type of honesty.
Knowing what makes your partner feel loved and understanding their wants and needs.
Autistic people can be very sensitive to any type of rejection or criticism.
Depersonalization is the key!
Frontloading conversations can help with understanding and connection.
Seeing differences as reality, rather then misconstruing them as rude, abrasive or inappropriate.

To learn more about Orion Kelly you can visit his website at: www.orionkelly.com.au or check out his YouTube Channel at: That Autistic Guy, or listen to his podcast: My Friend Autism. I would also highly recommend his book: Autism Feels: An Earthlings Guide.
Jan 16, 202401:10:10
Understanding Loneliness, Relational Needs, and Different Views of a Neurodiverse Marriage with Enoch

Understanding Loneliness, Relational Needs, and Different Views of a Neurodiverse Marriage with Enoch

If you are interested in attending the mixed neurotype support group I co-facilitate with Jodi Carlton, the cost is only $25 per session. We meet monthly on the first Wednesday of the month and we offer 2 groups. One meets at 12:30pm EST and the other at 6:30pm EST. You can ⁠click here⁠ to register for the upcoming group.

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!
________________________________________________________

During this episode, Enoch shares the way he describes the experiences he had and the feelings and emotions he experienced in his 21 year neurodiverse marriage. He shares the word pictures he has created to help others understand some of the ways he felt before his marriage ended in divorce.
The word pictures described are:
1) The Onion of Loneliness-there are 3 dimensions/layers to this word picture. They include the loneliness with your partner because you have very different needs; the loneliness when friends and family don't believe you or understand what you are experiencing; and the loneliness when you feel hopeless that things can't or won't ever change.
2) Cup-vs-Barrel/Pond-vs-Stream-each partner has differing needs and different thresholds for feeling satiated in regards to the quality and quantity of connection. Each partner also has different ways in which time is navigated.
3) Wedding Day as a Finish Line-vs-Starting Line. One partner may feel that the wedding day was the end goal and the other may feel it was the beginning of a new adventure with lots of opportunities for connection ahead. In addition, one partner may seek stability and routine in the marriage, while the other is looking to grow and have lots of new experiences together.
4) The Egg of Marriage addresses masking and how others may see a very different version of the neurodivergent partner, as they only see the shell of the egg, not what is inside. In addition, each partner may have very different executive function skills and this may impact the appearance of the egg yolk which can't be seen by people outside the relationship.

You can contact Enoch at
ifgodwhy@gmail.com or check out his blog and resources at: www.ifgodwhy.com/ND In addition, for a less glitchy version of this episode you can visit: www.icloud.com/iclouddrive/0cb5GjFCrOJqfd1-7DT-4VPWw#ND_exp_-_word_pictures_1_podcast_with_Mona_Kay_20240105t
Jan 09, 202401:06:31
Letting Go of "Inappropriate" Hope and Fear of Change...Grieving and Then Transforming

Letting Go of "Inappropriate" Hope and Fear of Change...Grieving and Then Transforming

During this solo episode Mona talks about the importance of letting go of "inappropriate" hope, letting go of the fear of change, taking time to grieve the losses in your relationship and life, letting go of and healing guilt and shame, and moving forward in 2024 to transform into the person you want to be.


If you are the non-autistic/neurotypical partner and would like to join Sarah Swenson, LMFT and I for our upcoming 4 week workshop "I Love My Partner and Still Struggle to Imagine a Healthy Future Together" you can click here to register. The investment is only $297 and all participants will get 3 bonuses:

  • The digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards ($11 value)
  • The digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook ($12.97 value)
  • Free access to the 27 presentations from the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference ($97 value)

Also, if you are interested in attending the mixed neurotype support group I co-facilitate with Jodi Carlton, the cost is only $25 per session. We meet monthly on the first Wednesday of the month and we offer 2 groups. One meets at 12:30pm EST and the other at 6:30pm EST. The January groups are almost full, but you can click here to register for the February group.


Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Jan 02, 202426:10
The Impact of Sexual Shame and How We Can Begin to Heal-Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers

The Impact of Sexual Shame and How We Can Begin to Heal-Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers

You can buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook" at: www.neurodiverselove.com. On the Neurodiverse Love website you can also subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners. Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community! ________________________________________________________ Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is a certified sex therapist and supervisor and also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). She is the author of two books and also teaches graduate courses in human sexuality. Dr. Tina also leads the Northwest Institute on Intimacy (https://www.nwioi.com) where she trains therapists, physicians, and educators on sexual health. During this episode, we talk about the history of sexual shame and how to heal it.

We also discuss other topics that many neurodiverse couples may be dealing with related to physical and sexual intimacy. Those topics include:

  • Being relationally and sexually healthy.
  • The history and definition of sexual shame.
  • How does sexuality look for diverse populations?
  • Only 18 states require medically accurate sex education.
  • The impact of silencing and shaming someone for being sexually curious.
  • Understanding your internal critic and internalized judgment and the source of sexual dysfunction.
  • Ways to heal from sexual shame.
  • What was the misinformation you may have received about sex?◦ How can we be comfortable in our own skin related to physical and sexual intimacy?
  • When something that is pleasurable to you doesn’t seem common.
  • Understanding consent, support and how you maintain both.
  • Experiencing pleasure in the way that works for each of you.
  • Feeling othered doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.
  • Bring your less reactive self to the conversation about what you like. Find people who share your interests.
  • Partners can mirror back to each other the things that are most important.
  • Is there a bridge to each other around areas of significant difference?
  • Exploring the possibility of opening up your relationship regarding getting your needs made in different ways.
  • How misunderstandings regarding needs can create struggles with physical and sexual intimacy.
  • Lack of knowledge and feeling you don’t deserve something better can cause you to give up.
  • Sex may have been routine and may not include a lot of communication.
  • High desire person may not be getting the heart connection and pleasure they want.
  • Penetrative sex is not the only type of sex.
  • Research has shown that many queer couples are having better sex.
  • Can you and your partner create a menu of what you each like?
  • Mojoupgrade.com has a quiz regarding sexual interests and preferences.
  • When one partner wants to engage in watching pornography and the other partner is confused.
  • Understanding the role of pornography and why it’s in your partner’s life.
  • Understand why your partner may feel betrayed.
  • Porn does not give you intimacy.
  • Gain an understanding of when your partner started looking at porn, what was the purpose, what does it help with, what does it get in the way of, and how can you build a sexual health plan together.
  • Pinklabel.tv; Erikalust.com (suggested sites for ethical porn)
  • Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (https://weknowship.org/)
  • Any act of loving is an act of risk. Your partner may disappoint you and/or break your trust.
  • Have reasonable expectations and determine how each of you want to manage the bumps in the road of your relationship.
  • Are you both willing to work to become a better version of yourself on the other side of your challenges?

You can contact Dr. Tina at: www.TinaSchermersellers.com

or you can follow her or the Northwest Institute on Instagram: @Drtinashameless or @Nwinstituteonintimacy

Dec 26, 202301:11:43
Build a Mind That Works for You and "Become Who You Are"-Ryan A. Bush

Build a Mind That Works for You and "Become Who You Are"-Ryan A. Bush

You can buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook" at: www.neurodiverselove.com.

On the Neurodiverse Love website you can also subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners.

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community! ________________________________________________________

During this episode with author, Ryan A. Bush we talk about Ryan's search for understanding his own differences and how that journey led him to create a life path that is more aligned with his strengths.

In addition, we address the following topics;

  • The principles of "Psychitecture", which is a focus on self-improvement on a deeper level.
  • Depression and anxiety and possible ways to address each.
  • Communication, emotional, executive function and sensory differences in a neurodiverse relationship, when one partner is autistic and the other is ADHD.
  • When your partner may be obsessive with their work or interests and doesn't always prioritize their romantic relationship.
  • The importance of being respectful and having self-control.
  • Theory of well-being and neurodiversity.
  • Modifying your own mental habits through a systematic approach.
  • Change your beliefs to change your moods.
  • Doing things that scare you and take you out of your comfort zone.
  • Focus on your top personal strengths.
  • Understanding your communication battery.
  • Remember to be playful and prioritize fun and friendship.
  • Stoicism and virtue.
  • The rare advantage of different neurotypes.

You can learn more about Ryan or pre-order his new book "Become Who You Are" at: www.designingthemind.com

You can also pre-order the ebook for only $1.99 right now at: https://designingthemind.org/becoming

Dec 19, 202350:16
Ways We Can Understand Our Most Authentic Selves: Mental, Emotional, Sensory, Body, Social and Passions-with Jackie Schuld

Ways We Can Understand Our Most Authentic Selves: Mental, Emotional, Sensory, Body, Social and Passions-with Jackie Schuld

You can buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook" at: www.neurodiverselove.com.

On the Neurodiverse Love website you can also subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners.

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community! ________________________________________________________

On this episode, Jackie Schuld, a Registered Expressive Arts Therapist and mental health counselor, shares her expertise and lived experiences as a late diagnosed Autistic ADHD human. She provides valuable information on the 6 categories that she helps neurodivergent individuals understand and accept as they move forward to create their most authentic life. Other topics addressed include:

  • Understanding your autistic (or AuDHD) characteristics and getting clarity about what you accept and what you may want to work on or change.
  • Making sense of things after diagnosis or self identification.
  • Art can help move the emotions through you and help you tap into the subconscious and look at what needs to be processed.
  • You may need to focus on and process your grief before moving forward.
  • Know that it's okay to have feelings and they are happening for a reason.
  • The importance of getting to a place of understanding yourself in 6 categories: Mental/Thinking; Emotional, Sensory, Body, Social and Passions.
  • Passions are used to regulate your nervous system.
  • Don't take it personal when your autistic partner wants to be alone.
  • Emotionally may have higher highs and lower lows and experience intense emotions more frequently.
  • Autistics may have enhanced senses and this can be physically and mentally exhausting.
  • Understand what each partner needs to regulate their nervous system.
  • Learn how to take care of your brain.
  • Know your social quota. May have challenges having conversations when there are a lot of sensory issues to deal with.
  • Increase self-awareness and understand yourself so you can take a break before you've reached your limit.
  • One thought can lead to a hundred other thoughts (constellation or multilayered thinking).
  • Understanding interoception and proprioception
  • Being aware of the needs of your body and being able to sense when you're hungry, thirsty or need to use the bathroom.
  • Food sensitivities and understanding the mind/gut connection.
  • The challenges of being misdiagnosed.
  • Looking at how you've been treated and how you've treated others.

You can learn more about the services Jackie offers and her writings on her website: www.jackieschuld.com

Jackie's book "Life as a Late-Identified Autistic" will be published in January 2024.

Dec 12, 202301:10:06
Self Discovery, Personal Growth, and Discernment-Eva Mendes

Self Discovery, Personal Growth, and Discernment-Eva Mendes

During this episode with author, licensed therapist and coach, Eva Mendes, we talk about how our neurodiverse relationships can serve as a mirror to opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth. We also discuss many other important topics including:

  • Understanding and working on your own issues.
  • Nature, nurture, family of origin and personality traits.
  • Aligned values and life goals.
  • Keeping score isn't healthy. Let things go so they don't build up.
  • Monitor negative talk about yourself and your partner.
  • Remembering why you chose your partner and the importance of reconnecting.
  • Do positive self-talk and create a gratitude list about your partner.
  • Work on understanding recurring patterns so you can change them.
  • Have "micro-dialogues".
  • Understanding each other's "conversation battery".
  • Things to consider before you start dating or get serious.
  • Be the type of partner you want to attract.
  • Increase your self-esteem.
  • The importance of mutual respect, conflict resolution skills, and meeting their friends and learning about their community.
  • Being open and willing to get help when needed.
  • Being flexible and fluid.
  • Is it emotionally safe to talk about the things that are important to each of you.
  • Be true to yourself. Be willing to grow. Value yourself.

If you would like to contact Eva you can reach her at: https://www.eva-mendes.com/


Eva's books are:

  • Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Successful Strategies for Couples or Counselors.
  • Gender Identity, Sexuality and Autism. Voices from Across the Spectrum
  • Armchair Conversations on Love and Autism: Secrets of Happy Neurodiverse Couples (will be published in Spring, 2024)


_______________________________________________________ If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", or you want to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Beginning on 1/23/24, Mona Kay and Sarah Swenson are offering a 4 week interactive workshop for the non-autistic/neurotypical partners titled "I Love My Partner and Still Struggle to Imagine a Healthy Future Together". The cost is ONLY $297 and there are limited spaces available. If you are interested in joining us, please click here.

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Dec 05, 202301:16:52
Being Our Authentic Selves in Our Relationships-Mona and Olga

Being Our Authentic Selves in Our Relationships-Mona and Olga

Mona and Olga are back to talk about how challenging it can be to be our authentic selves in any relationship. They also share some of the challenges they have experienced with past and current relationships. Some of the other topics discussed include:

Not understanding ourselves, our partners, or their lived experiences.
Our perception can change our reality.
Apologizing can be so hard.
The value of asking "how can I help or support you?"
Being respectful, kind and compassionate.
Concrete, black and white thinking.
The importance of listening to "understand" your partner and if you don't understand be curious and ask questions.
Be open to changing your perspective and your mind.
How definitive decisions can result in no path back.
Maybe it's not personal.
Coming from a place of fear, because of past trauma.
How can you trust each other?
How addictions can be used to help when you don't feel like you fit in.
Alcohol may be used to be more present and serve as a social lubricant.
Focus more on fun.


___________________________________________________
To listen to more episodes of the podcast with Mona and Olga check out Season 1 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast. If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at:
neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!
Nov 28, 202329:05
Research on Love, Sex and Relationship Needs of Autistic Adults-Claire Bates and Monique Huysamen

Research on Love, Sex and Relationship Needs of Autistic Adults-Claire Bates and Monique Huysamen

During this episode Dr. Claire Bates and Dr. Monique Huysamen share some of what they learned from autistic adults about their needs and desires regarding love, sex and intimate relationships.

Some of the topics discussed include:

Information about the project participants and the study purpose.
Understanding consent.
Lack of support regarding information on physical and sexual intimacy.
Awareness of sensory needs and sensitivities.
Sensory joy.
You don't have to share a bed or a house with your intimate partner.
The challenges of neuronormative ways of flirting and dating.
Indirect and ambiguous ways of connecting.
Having frank conversations about needs and desires.
Dating services for neurodivergent adults (www.SafeSoulmates.org in the UK)
Understanding boundaries.
Having a safe space that is autistic led and informed to talk about these issues.
Having time to prepare to discuss sex and physical intimacy with mental health and healthcare providers.
The impact of alexythymia.
May need more time to discuss needs and boundaries.
Toolkits available on physical and sexual intimacy.
Policy work being done in the UK on these topics.


If you would like to learn more about the "Supporting Autistic Adults Intimate Lives" project and the resources that Monique talked about you can go to:
www.autlives.com

If you would like to contact Claire her e-mail is: claire.bates@choicesupport.org.uk or you can learn more about her work at: www.supportedloving.com.uk
_______________________________________________________
If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", or you want to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!
Nov 21, 202301:02:10
Respecting Each Others Differences and Needs-Gottman Sex Therapist Lida Far

Respecting Each Others Differences and Needs-Gottman Sex Therapist Lida Far

Lida Far is a Gottman Sex Therapist who is licensed in 7 states and does coaching throughout the world. During this episode, Lida talks about the pre-marital counseling and coaching she does to help partners thrive in their relationships. Each partner completes the online Gottman Relationship Assessment and then Lida serves as a guide to help each partner increase self-awareness and learn more about how their relationship with the person they love can be healthy and supportive. While some of this episode is focused on the issues couples can address prior to getting married, many of the topics discussed can apply to couples who are dating, living together or even those who have been together for many years. There is lots of important information discussed on many critical topics including: The Gottman Relationship Assessment addresses many areas of an intimate relationship including: communication, intimacy, conflict resolution, friendship and trust. Self awareness and understanding your wants and needs is critical. Understanding communication patterns, social battery and when hobbies may be taking up too much time. We all have unique strengths and value that can be celebrated. Create an emotional safe space that is judgment free. The importance of having "uncomfortable conversations". Track your thoughts and feelings in writing. Learn how to be your authentic self. Dysregulation can lead to feeling dismissed. Understanding our roles and what we "don't" want. Expressing thoughts, feelings and needs. Recognize and validate each other. Realizing your part of the same team. Social battery and sensory differences can impact the wedding and other family events. What is each partner's limits? Plan for intentional breaks. Have "cues" to communicate needs. Understand food preferences. May need to do things in a non-traditional way. Have empathy and flexibility with each other. Understand and respect processing and thinking differences. When we change the narrative regarding what is "actually" going on. Hook-up culture. Boundaries and consent. Physical and sexual intimacy and the impact of sensory sensitivities or differences. Desire discrepancy. Be attuned to what makes you comfortable. If you would like to work with Lida you can call her at 571-315-6471 or check out her website at: www.crystalcounselingandcoaching.com/ _____________________________________________________ If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Nov 14, 202359:05
Learning, Healing and Growing with Plant Medicine with Maya

Learning, Healing and Growing with Plant Medicine with Maya

In this episode with coach and trauma informed therapist Maya, we talk about how plant medicine helped heal some of Maya's past trauma and how she has used it to help neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals better understand themselves and other's in their life. In addition, she shares how plants can help heal our wounds in a way that other healing modalities may not have been able to and talks about how her plant medicine journey helped her be a better partner in her relationship with an autistic man.


PLEASE NOTE: This episode is for educational purposes only and the information shared during this episode is one person's personal and professional experience. Plant Medicine is not legal in many countries, so this information is provided as an educational resource only.


Maya also addresses some other topics including:

  • Plant medicine focuses on energy.
  • Our issues are in our tissues.
  • Empathogens pluck out the weeds from the roots and plant new seeds.
  • Plants can take us deep into our feelings without re-traumatizing us.
  • We can see things from a different perspective.
  • The importance of addressing unmet needs and core wounds.
  • Relationships give us an opportunity to see our "growing edges".
  • To be the best partner we need to face and heal our past relationship traumas.
  • We can learn to uncouple unmet needs from anger.
  • Understanding "taking space" as sacred can be helpful.
  • Self acceptance.
  • Learning how to love deeply and unconditionally.
  • The importance of asking ourselves "Have I lived fully, loved fully and learned to let go?"
  • Life is the ceremony and the plants test us.
  • We know an experience is complete when we can say "yes" and "thank you".
  • When a relationships ends we have an opportunity to look at how it has served us.
  • As we change a lot of things can fall away.

If you would like to contact Maya you can e-mail her at: maya@inrightrelationship.com


If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Nov 07, 202350:19
Having a Curiosity Mindset, Understanding Black and White Thinking and the Value of Creating Structure-Chris Forrest

Having a Curiosity Mindset, Understanding Black and White Thinking and the Value of Creating Structure-Chris Forrest

During this episode, Chris Forrest shares how her and her husband have successfully navigated through various challenges in their relationship and marriage as two neurodivergent partners (ADHD and Autism). Chris shares some of the lessons they have learned together and some of the strategies they use that have helped their relationship thrive. The topics discussed include: Structure your life so it works with your brain. The power of curiosity when communicating with your partner. Being more direct. Learning how to understand each others needs. Understanding that you each think differently and being very open can help with keeping calm. Be more solution focused. Taking a pause to see what else can be considered when their are misunderstandings. See your partner as your teammate. Black and white thinking and communication. Importance of clear and concise communication. Discussing how some behaviors may be negatively impacting your relationship and working on the best way to to make changes or modifications. The importance of practicing patience. Understanding how lots of change may impact your partner. Creating structure to meet each other's needs. May also want to structure conversations with an agenda so both partners understand the boundaries regarding the conversation. Scheduling the things that are most important including household chores and time for intimacy. Everything doesn't have to be spontaneous. Discussing expectations and assumptions that may not be helpful or accurate. You can choose connection or conflict. The value of using a joint calendar. Setting multiple alarms as reminders can be very helpful. Sometimes sleeping in separate bedrooms may be helpful. Work on positive connection. How Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) may be impacting you or your partner. Have each other's best intentions at heart. The value and importance of making each other laugh and being playful. Work on understanding each other and practice gratefulness and show appreciation for your partner You can reach Chris at: info@plannerexe.com.


If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!


Nov 07, 202355:54
Being Fearless to Be Yourself & The Attributes of Love-Dennis Wyrzykowski

Being Fearless to Be Yourself & The Attributes of Love-Dennis Wyrzykowski

TRIGGER WARNING: DURING THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS RAPE/SEXUAL ABUSE AND SUICIDE. If any of these issues may be triggering to you then you may want to refrain from listening to this episode, or skip the parts that may be triggering.

Many of us have grown up trying to fit in, be liked, or not understanding the difference between our "intent" and our "impact. In this episode, Dennis Wyrzkowski shares how his trauma, autism diagnosis and focus on love have shaped the person he is today. Dennis spent many years as a monk and is now engaged to be married, while his life journey has been filled with many traumatic and challenging experiences, his healing journey and growth mindset will be an inspiration to all of you.

In addition to sharing some of his lived experiences and some of the lessons he has learned, Dennis also shares the attributes of love and how each of these may be impacting your life and your relationship. Some of the topics discussed include:

Voids in awareness of the world around.
Difficulty in recognizing social cues.
Love yourself just as you are!
Questioning everything and being shamed for that.
Being fearless to be yourself.
The importance of accountability and responsibility.
Religion can be used to weaponize.
The opposite of love is indifference.
Attributes of love: patience; empathy; don't be jealous, boastful, proud, arrogant or egotistical; don't be rude or offensive; be assertive and respectful; don't be self-seeking or judgmental or irritable; don't not rejoice in what is wrong; it bears and endures all things; has hope that things can get better.
H.A.L.T.-don't make decisions or do things when you are "Hungry", "Angry", "Lonely" or "Tired".
Consider the opportunities for growth, healing and learning in your relationship and your life.
Love is the universal language and when you give it and receive it then it can be very healing.
Run towards the truth.
We all deserve to be loved, cherished and admired.

You can follow Dennis on Instagram @dennisthemonk or email him at:
dennis@favreaulousfactory.com

If you are experiencing any type of abuse, please contact the local hotline in your country. In the United States you can call: 1-800-799-7233.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please contact the local hotline in your country. In the United States you can call or text 988.
—————————————————If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!
Oct 31, 202301:00:42
Co-Dependency, Breaking Points, Contempt, and Discernment- Jodi Carlton

Co-Dependency, Breaking Points, Contempt, and Discernment- Jodi Carlton

Beginning on 11/1/23, Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton will be co-facilitating a new support group for individuals of ALL neurotypes. The group will meet on Zoom the first Wednesday of each month from 6:30-8PM EST and the cost is ONLY $25. Click here to register.

  • If you find yourself confused about making decisions because you don't know if you'll ever get your needs met in your current relationship.
  • If you and your partner are moving in different directions because you don't understand each other's perspectives.
  • If you are wondering what destination you will get to in your relationship, if you can't communication more effectively and repair after conflict...then this support group is for you!

PLEASE NOTE: This group is for individuals only, however, if both you and your partner are looking for this type of support group, then you can attend on different months. Also, please know that you can join us once, or attend as often as you want, there are no participation requirements. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

During this episode, Jodi and Mona talk about how important motivation and willingness are to learn, grow and understand about yourself and your partner. They also address the challenges that can occur when there is a lack of respect for each partner's differences. In addition, they talk about some of the breaking points in their own long-term marriages and what they might have done differently if they had known more about the neurological differences in their relationships. Other topics discussed include:

  • Updating the narrative you have of your partner instead of having contempt for them.
  • What it means when couples are in the "boxing ring"?
  • Confirmation bias.
  • Not being able to be vulnerable and let your guard down.
  • Losing trust and respect.
  • Understanding your own wounds and trauma and healing both.
  • Knowing what makes a healthy relationship work.
  • When both partners are co-dependent.
  • Understanding your expectations and needs.
  • Asking: Who am I? Who are you? Are we aligned?
  • When layers of pain and hurt become contempt.
  • If nothing changes how will you feel?
  • The importance of understanding the impact of our family of origin and our own neurology
  • The need for "Double Empathy" and understanding each other's perspective.


If you would like to learn more about the in-depth relationship assessment that Jodi conducts with BOTH partners, you can contact her at Jodi@jodicarlton.com. In addition, if you would like to work with Jodi, connect with her on social media, or learn more about all the services she offers you can check out her website at www.jodicarlton.com


If you would like to listen to Jodi's first guest episode on the Neurodiverse Love podcast you can click here.


If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship, please contact the Domestic Violence Helpline in your country. If you live in the United States you can call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

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If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com


Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

Oct 17, 202301:18:18
The Impact of Unknown Neurodiversity on Healing Father Wounds and Understanding Relationship Patterns-Giji Dennard

The Impact of Unknown Neurodiversity on Healing Father Wounds and Understanding Relationship Patterns-Giji Dennard


During this episode with Giji Dennard, we address a topic that many of us may not have thought about. Giji shares how we may not have known that our father (or primary caregiver) was neurodivergent and when we look back at our childhood through a neurological lens, we gain more understanding, and can begin to heal wounds that may have impacted our most important relationships.
We also address the following topics;

Residual daddy issues.
We choose our partners by familiarity or void.
Understanding why your father may have had difficulty coping with crowds, or had challenges with social interaction and/or family events.
Looking at the ways your father showed affection, shared emotions or facial expressions through a different lens.
When you grow up thinking your father is being apathetic, is not interested in you, or is showing disdain...but this isn't true.
What imprints may have been made on your life?
We absorb what our environment displays.
The impact on our relationships of how our fathers related to our mothers.
The journey to heal begins with awareness of triggers.
The value of changing our perspective on our interpretations and internalization of various misunderstood issues.
Are you carrying pain, hurt and trauma that needs to be healed?
We may pick partners to help us heal our father wounds, but sometimes that may make things worse.
The 3 steps to healing father wounds: 1) Recognize; 2) Repent and Release; 3) Know That You Can Be Loved and Valued.
The goal is to get back to "Wholeness".
Your past doesn't have to define who you are.


To contact Giji check out her website at:
www.wellfedresources.com/meet-giji
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If you would like to buy a digital deck of the "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards", or the recently released "Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook", subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Thank you for being part of the Neurodiverse Love community!
Oct 10, 202301:00:21
Understanding and Resolving High Conflict in Your Relationship-Dr. Suzanne Lachmann

Understanding and Resolving High Conflict in Your Relationship-Dr. Suzanne Lachmann

To celebrate the 3 year anniversary of the Neurodiverse Love podcast, the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook is now available for only $12.97. To buy your workbook today, click here. The workbook includes 104 questions that you and your partner can discuss to learn more about what each of you wants and needs to thrive in your relationship and to live your most authentic life.


During this episode with Dr. Suzanne Lachmann, you and your partner will learn more about why many of the conflicts in your relationship are not getting resolved the way you would like. When repair and making amends seems to get more difficult over time, understanding the concepts and strategies Dr. Suzanne shares can be a game changer. The topics discussed include:

  • Softening your perspective.
  • Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt.
  • Understanding flexibility can be scary.
  • Being literal vs general.
  • Words and promises have different meanings.
  • Being clear and concise...words matter.
  • Can you stop taking things personally?
  • Creating less tension and more understanding.
  • Moving from sacrifice to compromise.
  • When intentions are different than impact.
  • Trusting your partners intentions are genuine.
  • Understanding how you each define different words.
  • Working on trusting each other.
  • Anger vs emphasis.
  • Urgency may not be anger.
  • Language may not hold as much meaning to one of you.
  • Saying the right things, but not acting on them.
  • How often are you disappointed?
  • Different ways of understanding language, the world and yourself.
  • Both partners need to work on compromising.
  • There is no black and white in relationships.
  • Recognizing how different your partner thinks can create more positive communication.
  • Getting triggered and looking for your partner to make up for pain from the past.
  • Emotional short-circuits.

You can reach Dr. Suzanne through her website at: www.drsuzannel.com or connect with her on LinkedIn or Instagram @drsuzannel

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If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Oct 03, 202355:19
How Our Differences Impact All Our Relationships-A Conversation with Dan...The First Man Mona Dated During Her Separation

How Our Differences Impact All Our Relationships-A Conversation with Dan...The First Man Mona Dated During Her Separation

This episode is being published on the third anniversary of the Neurodiverse Love podcast. It it has been an honor and a pleasure to release weekly episodes of the podcast for the last 3 years. If this podcast has helped you better understand yourself, your partner, or someone else in your life, I hope you will take a few minutes to send Mona an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com and share some of your story.


During this episode, Mona has a fantastic conversation with Dan, the first man she dated during her separation. When Mona and Dan met in February, 2016, Mona didn't know she was in a neurodiverse marriage and Dan didn't know he was autistic. Mona's discussion with Dan provides a glimpse into the way we can choose to better understand ourselves, our past and present partners, our children, and the other important people in our lives. Our differences can create division or connection, and that is a choice we make daily in every relationship we have.

Some of the topics discussed include:

  • Discovering your neurodiversity through your child's diagnosis.
  • Gaining understanding of your struggles.
  • Costs associated with getting needs met.
  • Letting go of emotional attachment.
  • Understanding why there were difficulties in relationships.
  • Having partners that want to change you.
  • Giving the space to not judge yourself.
  • People want to be validated and feel heard.
  • Coping mechanisms.
  • Letting go of your desire to please others and seek acceptance.
  • Learning how to set clear boundaries.
  • Triggering each other.
  • There are times for doing, reflection, and rest.
  • Everything has a season.
  • A sense of social justice.
  • Delusions of grandeur.
  • Give yourself grace.
  • We are always trying to find homeostasis and how gongs can help with that.
  • Do you want to be right or happy?

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If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Sep 26, 202301:13:15
How the ADHD Traits of Impulsivity, Distractibility and Hyperactivity May Be Impacting Your Relationships-Ryan Mayer

How the ADHD Traits of Impulsivity, Distractibility and Hyperactivity May Be Impacting Your Relationships-Ryan Mayer

Although Ryan Mayer received his ADHD diagnosis in high school, he didn't find his most authentic life until he became a certified ADHD. During this episode, Ryan shares the impact ADHD had on his career, his marriage and family and how he has turned his lived experiences into impactful messages on social media and a coaching career that is helping other's live their best life.

During this episode, we have an great discussion about the hallmark traits of ADHD: impulsivity, distractibility, and hyperactivity. We also address:

  • Feeling both relief and regret.
  • Understanding that the "shininess" will wear off.
  • The importance of getting accommodations at school and work.
  • Advocate for your needs.
  • Getting fired and crashing and burning.
  • Having healthy outlets to get dopamine hits
  • Managing dopamine hits from our smartphones.
  • Understanding and managing addictive or risky behaviors.
  • Being proactive if you know you are easily distracted.
  • Prioritizing tasks.
  • Masking vs being your most authentic self.
  • Remembering your partner isn't a mind reader.
  • Lack of communication and understanding leads to higher divorce rates.
  • When you say "yes", you also say "no".
  • Being full present and make moments matter.
  • Understanding the 5 Love Languages and how to speak your partners love language.

You can follow Ryan on IG @adhd_coach_ryanmayer, on FB @Ryan Mayer ADHD Coaching, or on TikTok @ADHD_coach_ryan. You can also check out his website @ www.ryanmayercoaching.com to enroll in Ryan's 10 day text based course "How to Find Work that WORKS for Your ADHD" and you can get a 30% discount by using the code NDLOVE30 .

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Sep 19, 202301:04:60
Discovering Unknown Neurodiversity Changed Our Marriage Forever-Brooke Ward

Discovering Unknown Neurodiversity Changed Our Marriage Forever-Brooke Ward

During this episode, Brooke Ward, LMFT shares the challenges she and her husband experienced before learning they were in a mixed neurotype marriage. When Brooke was diagnosed with ADHD she began to do some individual work to better understand her neurotype, however she soon realized that her husband might also benefit from better understanding his neurology. That process led him to discovering that he is AuDHD and has Sensory Processing Disorder. Brooke shares her lived experiences and the ways in which trauma and unknown neurodiversity impacted her marriage. She shares about some of the major misunderstandings that occurred and what led her to believe that the root cause may be neurological differences. In this episode we discuss lots of important issues including: Co-dependency. Feeling alone and like you are being taking advantage of. Being a creature of habit. Lack of communication or being angry and emotional. Feeling abandoned when your partner is focused on their deep interest. Sensory issues with an infant. Changes to routine after having a child. Dysregulation and emotional communication. Creating structure and routines for parenting. Change can be like working with play-doh or titanium. ADHD and impulsivity and instant gratification. Motivation, capacity and the ability to see things differently. Unmasking and changing careers. Understanding sensory sensitivities and the benefits of earbuds and comfortable clothes. Increased ability to repair after conflict. Memory loss after emotional dysregulation. Understanding your partner may not always be able to show up for your emotionally. Abuse is abuse no matter what your neurotype is. Understanding reactions that are not appropriate to the situation. Lack of awareness and education on Autism, ADHD and neurodiversity in universities that are training helping professionals. Stigma, shame, stereotypes create challenges...we need a paradigm shift! Patience, awareness, capacity, motivation, accountability, and shifting your internal views. Letting go of unrealistic expectations and hope of what you thought your relationships would be. Understanding that there will be grief.

You can contact Brooke at: www.brookewardlmft.com

If you are experiencing domestic violence in your relationship and you live in the United States you can call the National Domestic Violence hotline at: 800-799-7233. If you are in the United Kingdom you can call: 0808-2000-247. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you would like to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com


Sep 12, 202301:21:19
How Different Communication Styles, Alexythymia and Cognitive Empathy Can Impact Your Relationship- Thomas Henley

How Different Communication Styles, Alexythymia and Cognitive Empathy Can Impact Your Relationship- Thomas Henley

During this episode with Thomas Henley, the "Thoughty Auti" we begin our conversation talking about dating challenges and how to better understand how different neurology may have an impact on your dating relationships. If you are in a relationship and would like to skip the dating discussion it starts at about 12:30 and ends at about 35:25.

After we discuss dating, Thomas shares openly and honestly about the following topics:

  • Understanding your different communication styles.
  • The impact of misunderstanding and miscommunication.
  • Using emojis to understand "tone".
  • The way different thoughts are expressed and the impact of being direct.
  • Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.
  • Being patient and really trying to understand your partner.
  • Both partners may feel like they are not heard, understood or validated.
  • Alexythymia-difficulty noticing and categorizing your emotions.
  • The value of "explaining emotions", not just "expressing" them.
  • Difficulty regulating emotions.
  • Understanding that it may take your autistic partner a few hours, days or longer to know what they are feeling.
  • Cognitive empathy and the challenge with being able to give the response the other person needs.
  • If you're invested in your relationship, assume good intentions.
  • Saying exactly what you are thinking and feeling with no subtext.
  • Being patient, rather then making snap judgements.
  • Forgetting that your brains are different in the midst of conflict.
  • Understanding intimacy and sensory profiles.
  • The challenges of having lots of indirect communication with physical and sexual intimacy.
  • Feeling safe to communicate your intimacy needs.
  • Mental health challenges can impact intimacy.


  • The nuances of dating and on-line apps.
  • How the "Pick-Up Artists" are impacting dating.
  • Trying to make dating into something logical and scripted.
  • Not everyone has the social battery to go out in public, or start conversations with strangers when on dates.


You can e-mail Thomas Henley at: hi@thomashenley.co.uk and follow him on social media, listen to his podcast, or YouTube videos here.

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If you want to buy a digital deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or get more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for neurodiverse couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Sep 05, 202301:53:05
Are Your Expectations Too High or Just Very Different?

Are Your Expectations Too High or Just Very Different?

During this solo episode, Mona addresses a topic that may be creating some misunderstanding, disconnection and challenges in your Neurodiverse Love relationship.

Some people say that if we don't have expectations, then we can never be disappointed. However, how many of us can really say that we have no expectations in our relationships? Maybe, instead of having no expectations, we can think about whether or not we have clearly and concisely communicated our expectations? What might happen if you and your partner talked about the expectations you have of each other and then listened to each other to truly "understand" what each of you want, need and prefer in the areas where your expectations seem to be repeatedly dismissed or not met?
When we have expectations of our partner and have not communicated them with compassion and love, in a clear and concise manner, we may feel like our expectations are too high, but maybe they're not.

During this episode, Mona explores the expectations we may have in the following areas:

Communication-how often and for how long do you want to talk each day? What does the tone of your communication really mean? Is eye contact really that important? How do you each define a "timely response"?
Physical and Sexual Intimacy-how often do you each want to be touched and what types of touch feel good? How important is eye contact when being intimate? What sensory sensitivities or differences need to be explored?
Emotional-what do you each expect when you’re upset? How important is alone time to process emotions? What is the best way to move from dysregulation to balance and a regulated nervous system?
————————————————If you want more information about the support groups that Mona facilitates for Neurodiverse Couples, or the neurotypical/non-autistic partners, check out her website at: www.neurodiverse love.com, or send her an email at:
neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com
Aug 29, 202329:33
Married to the Iceman-Communication and Perspective Differences: Understanding and Accepting What Is-Lilo and Bill

Married to the Iceman-Communication and Perspective Differences: Understanding and Accepting What Is-Lilo and Bill

Lilo and Bill offer so many valuable insights and lessons based on the learned experiences they have had before and after Bill was diagnosed as an autist. They have been together for over 30 years, and Bill received his autism diagnosis after more then 20 years of marriage (and lots of challenges they didn't understand).

During this episode, Bill and Lilo share openly and honestly about how they have struggled and persevered in love. Bill spent 24 years in the military and Lilo is an artist, hairdresser, and home-schooled all of her children. They have moved 14 times and through all of the ups and downs of life they have discovered the unique strengths, challenges and differences that have helped them grow and learn about each other in ways they never expected. This episode is filled with lots of laughs and insights that will be helpful for all neurotypes.

The topics we address include:

  • Communication challenges and ways to address them
  • Asking your partner if they "will" do something, instead of if they "want" to do something
  • Marriage is a contest of generosities.
  • Being unorthodox and eccentric.
  • Understanding how you each "recharge" differently.
  • Mr. Spock as a spirit animal?
  • When one partner wants a "mute" button for the other.
  • Having a "neurostat' for sensory input.
  • When strengths may also create challenges.
  • Struggles and failure can make us stronger.
  • Love is the glue that helps us advance civilization
  • Being a learning organism.
  • Give up on what's supposed to be a "normal" marriage/relationship and accepting what is.
  • Being a life dog, navigator, personal assistant.
  • Stop expecting an apple to be a pear.
  • Everyone is a swiss cheese person and you need to fill your own holes.
  • Texts and emails remove "tone".
  • Time limits when discussing emotional issues.
  • Rituals and routine.
  • When holidays and presents don't have the same value or importance.
  • Is it black and white thinking or both non-linear and linear?
  • Patience is critical.
  • Understanding different perspectives regarding loneliness and time alone.
  • The life changing impact of understanding autism.


You can listen to Lilo's podcast called "Touching the 'Tism" or Bill's podcast "Chasing Ghosts: An Irregular Warfare Podcast". You can e-mail Lilo at marriedtotheiceman@gmail.com or email Bill at: cgpodcast@pm.me


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  • If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/allistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
  • Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
  • Also, if you would like to buy a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11.  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
  • Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded sessions for only ⁠⁠⁠⁠$98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
  • Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!
Aug 22, 202301:21:30
What Can You Live "With"...or "Without", in Your Neurodiverse Relationship?-Sarah Swenson

What Can You Live "With"...or "Without", in Your Neurodiverse Relationship?-Sarah Swenson

On Wednesday, September 13, 2023, from 7:30-9:00pm EST, Mona Kay and Sarah Swenson will be co-facilitating a workshop on Zoom titled: "What Can You Live "With"...or "Without", in Your Neurodiverse Relationship". The cost is $25 per individual or couple.

If you would like to join us for this important workshop, please click here. The workshop will "NOT" be recorded, so participants can discuss the issues that are most important to them. However, if there is enough interest, we may be offer the workshop again.


During this episode with coach and licensed therapist Sarah Swenson, LMHC, we discuss many of the critical issues that a lot of neurodiverse couples may be dealing with on a regular basis. We talk about the importance of both partners being validated, so that each feels heard and seen. We also address the importance of being respectful of each other's differences and knowing what each partner is able to accommodate, and the importance of having grace for each other. Sarah talks about the value of understanding that some things can be changed and some can't, and knowing the difference. She also addresses some of the common challenges that neurodiverse couples have, which include: communication differences, not understanding why one partner is so angry at the other, loneliness in the relationship, and challenges with the extended family.

Other topics that are discussed include:

  • The critical importance of working with a therapist or coach who has expertise in working with neurodiverse couples.
  • The Tragic Dance-when love exists, but may not be enough.
  • Understanding the weight of history and the predictive value it has had in the past.
  • Remembering history is history and it is not predictive of your future relationship.
  • Breaking old communication habits.
  • The importance of starting with a "beginners mind".
  • Making the choice and commitment to acknowledge that each partner is acting in "good faith".
  • Slowing down when processing information or emotions.
  • Pausing and giving each other space in conversations.
  • Understanding the meaning and nuance of different emotions.
  • Intuitive or non-intuitive processing of emotions and how we revert to "our type" during duress.
  • The value of communicating in writing.
  • Understanding that saying "I don't know" is a statement of fact.
  • Ways to reduce loneliness in a relationship.
  • Why one partner may often respond with a "no" when you bump into their "rules" or "rubrik".
  • Understanding your partner's "singular focus" and how that might be impacting your relationship.
  • Differences in "non-verbal" communication.

  • If you want to connect with more of Sarah's work, you can subscribe to her Substack at: sarahswensonlmhc.substack.com or check out her website at: www.theneurodiversecouple.com

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  • If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/allistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
  • Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
  • Also, if you would like to buy a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11.  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.
  • Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded sessions for only ⁠⁠⁠$98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
  • Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!
Aug 15, 202301:06:58
Season 6-Respect, Compassion and Love for Ourselves and Our Partners-with Mona and Olga

Season 6-Respect, Compassion and Love for Ourselves and Our Partners-with Mona and Olga

Welcome to Season 6 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast. Three years ago, Mona and Olga started this podcast to share their lived experiences in the neurodiverse relationships that they had that had ended. After exploring the ins and outs of the many relationships they have had with neurodivergent men, they share some of the lessons they have learned and ways in which they have grown. They also discuss the importance of respect, compassion and love for yourself and your partner, and how each can make a difference in how we live our lives, become our most authentic selves, and create emotional safety in our relationships.

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Aug 09, 202330:45
Understanding Your Sensory Profile, Nervous System and Processing Styles-Sarah Bergenfield

Understanding Your Sensory Profile, Nervous System and Processing Styles-Sarah Bergenfield

During this episode, Sarah Bergenfield shares a little about the path she and her daughter traveled to discover they are both autistic, and how as a therapist she is helping other neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse couples as they move forward on their own unique journeys.


Sarah is a Certified Level 3, Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. She provides information on the value of understanding the “parts” that may have been created as an undiagnosed autistic person. She also shares critically important information about Polyvagal Theory and why it's important to understand what happens when you are in a dysregulated or regulated state, as you are scanning for cues of "safety" or "danger". Sarah also talks about autism being a perceptual disorder and how this impacts the level of input coming in.


Sarah also addresses the importance of understanding your "sensory profile" and how gathering that information can help partners understand which senses are "over" or "under" responsive and how to address each. Sarah also explains how autistic individuals process from the "bottom up' and others process from the "top down". Understanding the way in which you and your partner process the world, can help you both find the "hot spots" in your relationship and work on addressing them with compassion and grace.


Lastly, Sarah talks about how important it is to shift the narratives we have around autism and neurodiversity. She shares a little bit about how she and her husband shifted their narrative around sex. After she began to understand her own sensory profile, then some of the challenges they had experienced began to make more sense. Since there are so many physical aspects of sex (ie: skin, touch, sound, smell, breath, etc.) it can be overwhelming, and when the autistic partner is not engaging in the way their partner may expect, it can feel like rejection to the non-autistic partner. Sarah also provides ideas about how each partner can discuss their sensory needs in a way that increases intimacy.


Sarah ends the episode by discussing the way she has described being autistic... "it's like being a bird flying in a garden and then flying into a window"...more specifically she asks "how can you prepare for a hazard you don't even see?"


If you would like to contact Sarah you can reach her at sarah@thecuriousheart.com or on her website at: www.thecuriousheart.com



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Aug 01, 202301:07:34
Five Types of Exhaustion and Rest That Can Impact Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Kerry McLeish

Five Types of Exhaustion and Rest That Can Impact Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Kerry McLeish

During this episode with Kerry McLeish, you will learn about the 5 types of exhaustion and rest that may be impacting your neurodiverse relationship. You will also understand how to move from exhaustion to a more rested life and learn some ways to create a more healthy rhythm between rest and work.

In addition, you will learn that you can be drained, full or have different capacity depending on what is happening in your life and your relationship. Lastly, stress and exhaustion often go together, so creating a "rest toolbox" that you can turn to whenever you need it is SO important.

The 5 types of exhaustion and rest that are discussed with Kerry are:

  • physical
  • mental
  • emotional
  • social
  • spiritual

You can reach Kerry at www.restforlife.org or through www.lovingdifference.net

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Jul 25, 202356:04
Understanding the Impact of the 3 Parts of the Mind and the 3 I's-Intuition, Instinct and Imprinting-Dr. Veronica Anderson

Understanding the Impact of the 3 Parts of the Mind and the 3 I's-Intuition, Instinct and Imprinting-Dr. Veronica Anderson

Dr. Veronica Anderson is a medical doctor and an intuitive who is helping people throughout the world better understand themselves, their partners and other important people in their lives. During this episode, she shares a little about her professional journey and her neurodiverse family. In addition, Dr. Veronica provides information on the impact of the 3 parts of the mind: cognitive, affective and conative. Understanding the conative piece (how we take action when we are free to be who we are) can be a game changer in life and in our relationships.

Dr. Veronica also shares information about the 3 I's that impact our life and our relationships: Instinct (how you take action and how you do things); Imprinting (the first 7 years of your life are "imprinted" on to you and this attracts you to a particular type of person); Intuition (understanding your energy and spiritual DNA).

Dr. Veronica also talks about the Kolbe Assessment and how it helps us understand more about ourselves and the 4 types of people that may be in our lives professionally and personally, and how understanding more about the strengths (and potential challenges) of communicating and working with each type can impact your life. The 4 types include: Fact-finder; Follow-through; Quick Start; and Implementer.

Dr. Veronica also talks about the work she does around "Human Design" and the importance of understanding the 5 types of Human Design. She shares information about how each type has an important and valuable place in the world and how they may impact the way in which you show up in relationships and in your life, so that you can live with purpose and in a way that is alignment with your energy.

Dr. Veronica also shares the results of Mona's Kolbe Assessment and Human Design and each described Mona perfectly!


Understanding how your brain is wired and learning who you are, so you can BE IT is critical! In addition, a lot of the information shared during this episode can help partners understand themselves and each other.


If you are interested in learning more about the Kolbe Assessment and Human Design, and would like to work with Dr. Veronica you can reach her at: www.drveronica.com


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Jul 18, 202301:30:41
Finding the Goldilocks Zone, Understanding Each Other's Needs and Differences-Guest Co-host Bronwyn Wilson

Finding the Goldilocks Zone, Understanding Each Other's Needs and Differences-Guest Co-host Bronwyn Wilson

During this episode with guest co-host Dr. Bronwyn Wilson, we talk about what it looks like to find the "Goldilocks Zone"...the "just right" for neurodiverse couples and what might be preventing couples from finding the path towards thriving in their relationship, including:

  • The importance of both partners accepting the autism diagnosis, or self identification.
  • Denial can lead to relationship breakdown.
  • Both partners need to be committed to change and recognize the positives in the relationship.
  • What it looks like when one partner is the "social secretary".
  • The importance of "accepting" help.
  • Creating a more regimented relationship and a new normal.
  • Why positive comments are sometimes seen as critical.
  • Intent-vs-impact.
  • Catastrophizing and anger rumination.
  • Looping thoughts and repetitive behaviors.
  • Trauma responses can impact your communication styles.
  • Bullying and abusive behaviors.
  • Deserved justice or "an eye for an eye".
  • Depression can impact negativity.
  • The "Surviving Zone" includes living separate lives, not dealing with problems, loss of pleasure, depression, and saying yes and doing no.
  • Neurodiverse relationships may look different and that is okay!
  • A formula to thrive in a neurodiverse relationship: 1) Both partners be willing to accept and learn about the diagnosis or self-identification; 2) Be willing to gain knowledge of neurodiversity and understand each other's differences; 3) Have a constructive mindset; 4) Understand that "typical" counseling will never suffice; 5) Be motivated to learn about, nurture and support each others individual needs.


  • During this episode we talk about abusive behavior and if you are in an abusive relationship and need help, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline in your country. In the United States the hotline number is: 800-799-7233


I want to thank Dr. Bronwyn Wilson for sharing her research, lived experience and knowledge on the Neurodiverse Love podcast. Her research has helped many people better understand themselves, their partners and their relationships. I am hopeful that the results of her many years of work will lay the foundation for many more researchers to work with autistic individuals, allistic/neurotypical individuals and neurodiverse couples around the world who are looking for ways to thrive in their relationships. When we know better, we can do better!

As we work together, we can increase understanding of the needs, strengths and challenges that all neurotypes may have and this can lead to more acceptance, compassion and grace for the way we each want to live our best, most authentic lives!

Jul 11, 202301:05:46
Anxiety, Depression, Substance Use and the Core Wound of Failure-Guest co-host Nicole Knowlton

Anxiety, Depression, Substance Use and the Core Wound of Failure-Guest co-host Nicole Knowlton

WARNING: During this episode we talk about anxiety, depression, suicide and substance use. If these issues are difficult to hear about, please take care of yourself if you decide to listen to this episode.

This is the last episode with my wonderful guest co-host, Nicole Knowlton. During our discussion. we go in-depth on some very important, and sometimes very emotional topics that we haven't discussed much on the podcast. The topics addressed include:

Why neurodivergent individuals may experience depression and anxiety, as people try to correct and change them throughout their lives.
Co-occurring issues can include: ADHD, learning and sensory processing differences, and PTSD.
Our neurology is not a choice!
No shame in taking medication, if you want or need it.
Finding out about your neurodiversity through your children's assessments.
The importance of an educational system that supports your child's needs and strengths.
Losing friends and jobs and not understanding why.
Why being alone can sometimes feel safer.
"Walking in each other's shoes" exercise.
AuDHD feels like OCD at a party!
Substance use and abuse to numb and deal with societal pressures.
Some habits and addictions may be fueling your system.
Some of the strengths neurodivergent partners can have include: strength, stability, security and being financially conservative.
How vulnerability can impact relationships.
The impact of the expectations we have of our partners inside and outside our relationship.
How it effects you when you are carrying a "core wound" of failure.
If you are not willing to do the work to forgive, heal the past and accept your partner for who they are, you will probably suffer in your relationship.

Books recommended during this episode:

Sincerely Your Autistic Child. What People on the Autism Spectrum Wish Their Parents Knew About Growing Up. Acceptance and Identity.
Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol: Drinking to Cope by Matthew Tinsley and Sarah Hendrickx


If you would like to contact Nicole for coaching, therapy and/or assessments. You can find her on Psychology Today or on Instagram or Twitter @aspietherapist. I want to thank Nicole for sharing her expertise, lived experiences and the lessons she has learned on her journey. It has been an honor to have her as a guest co-host and I hope that some of you will have an opportunity to work with her in the future.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples,
please send her an email at:
neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. Click here to buy your deck today.
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!
Jul 06, 202301:01:30
Pattern Recognition, Synesthesia, Aphantasia, Somatics and Sound Healing-with Katie Zitterbart

Pattern Recognition, Synesthesia, Aphantasia, Somatics and Sound Healing-with Katie Zitterbart

During this episode, Katie Zitterbart shares a little about her neuro-spicy journey and the importance of double empathy and neuro-spicy embodiment and sexual health. In addition, we discuss:

  • The importance of understanding the perception of others.
  • Discerning between neuro-spicy traits and the impact of CPTSD.
  • The autistic brain is "bottom up" and the allistic brain is "top down".
  • "A felt sense of yes" is an invitation for self exploration,
  • Pattern recognition and how meaning happens.
  • Examples of some of the different types of synesthesia (where stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to involuntary experiences in a secondary sensory or cognitive pathway.)
  • Aphantasia is being "blind inside" and not having the ability to create mental imagery.
  • The value of achieving more nervous system capacity.
  • Creating rituals and scripts.
  • Understanding the autists sense of social justice.
  • Being right and when it matters.
  • The relationship between connective tissue and emotional body dysregulation
  • Hypermobility and autism.
  • Starting from a place of safety and security
  • You can contact Katie about her work in somatics, sound healing or sexual health at: www.kayteezee.com

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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. If you would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11.  ⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27  AMAZING  pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠⁠to buy unlimited access today.

Jul 05, 202301:12:50
Myth Busting Three Beliefs That May be Creating Challenges in Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Heather Parks and Natalie Roberts

Myth Busting Three Beliefs That May be Creating Challenges in Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Heather Parks and Natalie Roberts

During this episode, Mona is joined by Heather Parks and Natalie Roberts from the Loving Difference online community. Heather and Natalie have been on the podcast numerous times and they were both amazing presenters at the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference. On this collaborative episode, the conversation focuses on three myths that may be the source of some of the challenges you and your partner are experiencing in your neurodiverse relationship:


Myth #1) Neurodiversity is the problem that makes all differences more pronounced.

Topics discussed include: The importance of self-awareness and reviewing your own patterns; adaptative strategies to armor up; expectations and beliefs we have about romantic relationships; the impact of stress from "unknown neurodiversity" and "unhealthy" relationship patterns; the importance of understanding the potential impact of childhood wounds and nervous system dysregulation; the importance of the mind/body connection; creating space between the stimulus and our reaction.


Myth #2) Thinking you need to leave or you need your partner on board to change things.

Topics discussed include: knowing your needs, preferences, tolerances and values; the impact of losing touch with yourself; getting clarity of thought and having healthier responses; the impact of other peoples nervous systems on you; reducing your own reactivity; getting in touch with yourself and your own happiness; restoring your choice and autonomy.


Myth #3) If I do self-care and more things on my own, then things will get better.

Topics discussed include: you have to fill the holes in your own bucket, not just focus on self-care; we all need good boundaries; take time to heal; determine what strategies need to change; understand your triggers and find better ways to handle them; get clarity about your needs (even if it's uncomfortable); there may be more separation in your relationship as changes occur; find ways to re-connect with your partner and revitalize your relationship; reduce "negative intimacy"; heal past hurts; find solutions; masking may have meant you don't know yourself or your partner.

Please Remember: Your neurodiverse relationship may look very different from other people's relationships...and that's okay!!!


You can reach Heather and Natalie at www.lovingdifference.net or on their websites at: www.natalieroberts.com and www.heatherparks.co.uk. You can also check out their podcast "Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships" wherever you listen to podcasts.

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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. If you would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

You can also follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love

If you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11.  ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27  AMAZING  pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠to buy unlimited access to all the presentations today.


Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Jun 20, 202301:09:15
Some Things To Consider To Make Dating Easier-Dr. Kenneth Roberson

Some Things To Consider To Make Dating Easier-Dr. Kenneth Roberson

For more then 20 years, Dr. Kenneth Roberson has been providing therapy for both autistic individuals and neurodiverse couples and he also conducts ASD assessments.. During this episode he shares some of the topics he discusses with clients to provide support and guidance for autistic clients who want to have successful dating experiences. Some of the topics addressed include:

  • The importance of focusing on and using your individuals strengths in the dating process (ie: kindness, thoughtfulness, honesty)
  • Focus conversation on areas of mutual interest.
  • Become aware of the triggers that may lead to a meltdown and avoid going to places that may lead to triggering reactions.
  • Understand your sensory sensitivities and plan a date that will be sensory friendly. Make sure the place you are meeting works for both of you.
  • Don't try to be something you 're not and exhaust or overwhelm yourself.
  • Pace yourself. Socializing requires a lot of energy and you may have to recharge your social battery.
  • Be patient with the dating process. It takes time to get to know someone and for them to get to know you.
  • Ask thoughtful and relevant questions without making the conversation an interview.
  • To show interest, respect and to make a connection, you may want to prepare some questions before the date.
  • Trust your suspicions, if something or someone seems "off" you can leave the date or end it.
  • Think about and get clear about what you want in a partner before you begin dating.
  • You may want to ask friends to help you write an online dating profile, as they may help you recognize some of your strengths that might be important in the dating process.
  • Determine if you want to share some of your autistic traits on your dating profile, or if you want to state that you are autistic and share what that means for you and what you are looking for in a partner.
  • Meeting for something casual for a first meeting...like a cup of coffee or a walk, instead of a formal date.
  • Fear of rejection during dating is normal. People will get rejected and ghosted. Each time it happens we have an opportunity to learn and grow and move forward to find someone who is a better fit for us.


You can contact Dr. Roberson by email at: dr.roberson@kennethrobersonphd.com or check out his website at: www.kennethrobersonphd

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.


If you would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter go to: www.neurodiverselove.com


Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11.  ⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ to buy your deck today.


Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27  AMAZING  pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. ⁠⁠Click here ⁠⁠to buy unlimited access to all the presentations today.


Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Jun 13, 202348:47
Emotional Differences, Compassionate Inquiry and Double Empathy in Relationships-Guest Co-host-Greg Fuqua

Emotional Differences, Compassionate Inquiry and Double Empathy in Relationships-Guest Co-host-Greg Fuqua

This is the last episode with one of the Season 5 guest co-hosts, Greg Fuqua. During this episode, we address a topic from a listener who wanted to explore the way we often look at emotional differences in a neurodiverse relationship as either “logical” or “emotional”. She suggested that maybe it would be helpful to change the way we describe emotional responses and consider using terms like “expressive” or “inexpressive”. To expand this concept further, Mona and Greg discuss how some of us are taught to believe that we are “too much” or “too emotional” and that can lead to hiding our emotions, or becoming less expressive in our relationships. In turn, two unique individuals who come together in an intimate relationship don't always have the tools and foundation to connect with each other emotionally, bridge their differences, and understand each other's way of expressing emotions. Unfortunately, when we get stuck in using stereotypical ways to describe emotions in neurodiverse relationship we don't get to fully understand our partners. Greg talked about how "compassionate inquiry" may help both partners better understand each other's emotions, feelings, and state of being. Dr. Gabor Mate developed the "Compassionate Inquiry" psychotherapy approach, which reveals what lies beneath the appearance we present to the world (for more information on this approach check out: www.compassionateinquiry.com). Greg also shares how he and his wife "attune" and connect with each other by creating rituals of "safe conversation" and he shares how they implement this process.


We also discuss:

  • Healthy internalization versus toxic externalization
  • The value of creating bridges around differences and getting out of the blame and shame mode.
  • Relationship trauma
  • The value of using the term "allistic" instead of neurotypical
  • We all haves "parts" of us that hold wounds from childhood.
  • The importance of "emotional ownership" and not being responsible for your partner's emotions
  • Why "double empathy" is so important and the value of understanding each other's "whys".
  • We all have different ways of perceiving, responding and processing.
  • Why the most powerful and important traits in a relationship may be having a "growth mindset" and an "open mind"

We wrap up the episode with a conversation about how having a child and parenting can dramatically change a neurodiverse relationship and some of the things we have each have learned as parents in a neurodiverse relationship.

Thanks to Greg for being a guest co-host on the podcast and for sharing so much important information with the world. It has been a pleasure to have had so many important conversations together and I hope that the listeners have benefitted from our different perspectives, lived experiences and the lessons we have learned on our respective journey's.


If you would like to contact Greg you can email him at gfuqua70@gmail.com, check out his website at: www.GregFuqua.com or contact him at www.LifeWorksDM.com.  You can also check out his profile on ⁠Psychology Today⁠.

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If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please email her at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. If you would like to subscribe to the Neurodiverse Love newsletter go to: www.neurodiverselove.com

Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11.  Click here to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can get unlimited access to the 27  AMAZING  pre-recorded conference sessions

for only $98. Click here to buy unlimited access to all the presentations today.


Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Jun 06, 202301:01:35
Why Divorce Was the Right Next Step

Why Divorce Was the Right Next Step

On May 30, 2018, Mona and her ex-husband divorced after 30 years of marriage. While that was one of the most emotionally difficult days of Mona's life, she took the time to heal and created Neurodiverse Love to help others learn from her lived experiences and lessons learned, as well as the expertise and experiences from others. In this solo episode, Mona talks about some of the emotional, communication, sensory, processing and employment differences that had an impact on her marriage. In addition, she shares what happened that made her realize her ex was no longer willing to treat her with the kindness and compassion she needed and deserved and how the loss of trust impacted her decision to move forward on a divorce.


If you would like to hear more about Mona's journey you can also listen to Episode 20 from Season 2 of the Neurodiverse Love podcast.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠click here⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter. Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11.  ⁠Click here⁠ to buy your deck today. Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can now get "unlimited" access to the 27 AMAZING  pre-recorded conference sessions for only $98, just ⁠click here⁠.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

May 30, 202329:27
Understanding Co-Dependency and Interdependency and Making Space for Your Partner and Each Other's Differences-Jes Diverges

Understanding Co-Dependency and Interdependency and Making Space for Your Partner and Each Other's Differences-Jes Diverges

During this episode, Jes Diverges shares a little about her AuDHD journey, the lessons she has learned along the way (and in her current relationship), as well as the work she is doing to help other neurodivergent folks. (Please excuse the technical difficulties we had for the first few minutes of the episode...thanks!)
Some of the topics Jes addresses include:

Knowing where your partner is, accepting who they are, making space for them and not trying to fix them.
The importance of understanding that you're not responsible for anyone's emotions but your own.
Looking at differences as important for the relationship.
The importance of two people working to cultivate the relationship.
Co-dependency and enabling leads to encouraging dependency.
Interdependency and how both partners have autonomy and connection and this helps encourage mutual growth and well-being.
When a supportive partnership looks like "co-dependency" to the outside world.
The value of active listening and appreciation of effort.
Don't compromise your core values.
"Shoulds" aren't healthy. Determine what you are willing to accept.
Lowering expectations in a positive way can help reduce anxiety.
The importance of the "flow state" for autistics and how it helps with regulation.
How "monotropism" helps explains a lot of autism.
Hyperconnectivity and less neural pruning in neurodivergent brains.
The importance of making transitions smoother.
Sticky hand thinking.

Jes is a coach and is creating the "Combo Meal Confidence Course" to help other neurodivergent people live their best, most authentic lives. You can reach Jes at:
jes@jesdiverges.com. You can also follow her on Instagram and TikTok @jesdiverges, or check out her website at: jesdiverges.com
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠click here⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. ⁠Click here⁠ to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can now get "unlimited" access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions for only $98, just ⁠click here⁠
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!
May 23, 202355:24
Vulnerability and Being Real, Feeling Stuck, and Understanding Your Unmet Needs or Unacknowledged Fears

Vulnerability and Being Real, Feeling Stuck, and Understanding Your Unmet Needs or Unacknowledged Fears

In this solo episode, Mona addresses some important issues that are repeatedly discussed in the support groups she facilitates for neurodiverse couples and neurotypical/non-autistic partners. The topics are: 1) the importance of being vulnerable and real in your intimate relationships and creating emotional safety so this can happen; 2) The impact of feeling stuck in life and in your relationship and remembering what brings you happiness and peace; and 3) What unmet needs or unacknowledged fears may be creating challenges in your life and relationship?


All of these issues may be a challenge to both acknowledge and address, however as difficult as they may be to deal with individually and with your partner, they can also help pave a path forward that will create a life that includes more balance, happiness and peace.

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May 16, 202326:56
Conflict Due to Communication Differences, the Prompt Dependency Cycle & Intrinsic-vs- External Motivation-Guest Co-host Bronwyn Wilson

Conflict Due to Communication Differences, the Prompt Dependency Cycle & Intrinsic-vs- External Motivation-Guest Co-host Bronwyn Wilson

During this episode with guest co-host Dr. Bronwyn Wilson, we address the challenges that many neurodiverse couples experience because of communication differences. We discuss what it takes to create a win-win conversation and the ways in which many neurotypical/non-autistic partners use prompts to create connection with their partners. This process is called the "Prompt Dependency Cycle" and Bron talks about how this isn't always beneficial for either partner, or the relationship. In addition, we talk about why partners may take things personally and see some questions or certain types of comments as a criticism, when they are actually a way of connecting. We also discuss how having high expectations of each other may be having a negative impact on your relationship and why clarifying and understanding what you each need and want in the relationship is so beneficial.


  • If you want to contact Bron, or order a copy of her book (Have They Gone Nuts? The Survival Guide to Social Interaction in Neurodiverse (Autistic-Neurotypical) Relationships, check out her website at: www.bronwilson.com. You can also buy her e-book on Amazon. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
May 09, 202301:14:45
Intention-vs-Impact, Understanding Our Stress Responses, and the Importance of Self-Acceptance-with Guest Co-host Nicole Knowlton

Intention-vs-Impact, Understanding Our Stress Responses, and the Importance of Self-Acceptance-with Guest Co-host Nicole Knowlton

During this episode, Mona and Nicole Knowlton discuss the importance of self-acceptance and self-love, for both partners and how our negative thoughts can impact our relationships. Understanding how different thoughts feel in our bodies and learning more about what we may need to work on and how we can have more healthy stress responses can be so healing and helpful. We also discuss the benefits of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how it can help us focus on the positive and not believe everything we think. Remember... "the grass is greener where we water it"!

Other topics addressed include:

  • Intention-vs-Intent.
  • The positive impact of asking "is this due to a difference?"
  • Understanding and improving our stress responses.
  • How would you or your partner know you are getting upset?
  • Disengaging when activated.
  • Are your expectations too high?
  • What type of communicator are you?
  • The benefit of being more authentic.
  • When we accept ourselves, some relationships may change or end.
  • The impact of breaking patterns and understanding unresolved wounds
  • Accepting that some of our past reactions and coping skills may be related to "unknown" neurodiversity.
  • The importance of not "shoulding" or "comparing".

You can contact Nicole Knowlton at: NicoleMKnowlton@gmail.com or on Psychology Today. You can also follow her on Twitter or Instagram @aspietherapist

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May 02, 202355:31
"It Could Have Looked So Different"...How an Autism Diagnosis is Changing Their Marriage-with Shawna and Kevin Meek

"It Could Have Looked So Different"...How an Autism Diagnosis is Changing Their Marriage-with Shawna and Kevin Meek

During this episode, Shawna and Kevin Meek talk about how different their marriage, and their lives, could have been if they had known Kevin was autistic 20+ years ago. Kevin received his autism diagnosis less then 6 months ago, at the age of 50. Since that time, he and Shawna have worked together to learn how they can thrive individually and as a neurodiverse couple, and they share how different their relationship may have been if they had known earlier that Kevin is autistic. They both share openly and with tremendous vulnerability to help other neurodiverse couples know they are not alone and that there is hope. More specifically they address the following topics:

The differences since the autism diagnosis.
Accepting the inconsistencies and knowing unmasking is welcome.
Not knowing the "why" of so many things in your life when their is unknown autism.
The damage caused before the autism diagnosis.
Being unfaithful and going through the trauma of betrayal and the healing process.
The fight to be normal and how this can lead to overwhelm.
Not knowing if certain behaviors were intentional or not.
How lying is a form of "self protection" and negatively impacted their relationship.
What led to a formal diagnosis.
When one partner sees the other as the "enemy".
Not understanding the true definition of abuse and how covert abuse impacted their marriage.
Being critical when the environment led to overstimulation.
Mis-attunement to a partners needs.
Acknowledging they are both on the same team.
Setting boundaries for unacceptable behavior.
Knowing there is hope!
Some helpful tools include weekly check-ins, code words and using a white board to share ideas and information.
Acknowledging brain reactions versus behavioral responses.
Limiting "abstract" words in conversation.
Having grace as each partner learns more about themselves and the ways to make the relationship thrive.
The importance of "giving back" by helping others who are in recovery and/or in neurodiverse relationships.

I am very thankful to Shawna and Kevin for sharing their story on the Neurodiverse Love podcast. Although "unknown neurodiversity" led to a lot of "unintentional" hurt, pain and trauma in their marriage, they are both on a path to live their best lives as individuals and as a couple and want to help others do the same. If you would like to contact Shawna or Kevin Meek you can send an email to:
Shawna@livingstonescoaching.com or visit Shawna's website at: www.livingstonescoaching.com
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com
Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or click here to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.
Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is now available for $11. Click here to buy your deck today.
Lastly, if you missed the Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still buy a ticket for $98 to listen to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions. Click here to buy your ticket today. Presentations will be available to watch until May 15, 2023
Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

Apr 25, 202301:09:02
The Language of Affection and How Alexythymia Can Lead to a Collision of Needs- with Guest Co-host Bronwyn Wilson

The Language of Affection and How Alexythymia Can Lead to a Collision of Needs- with Guest Co-host Bronwyn Wilson

During this episode, guest co-host Bronwyn Wilson shares more about her seminal research with neurodiverse couples. In addition, we provide an in-depth look at how alexythymia and having different emotional needs may be impacting your understanding of your partner. So many misunderstandings can occur when one or both partners don't understand what they are feeling, or the emotions they may be experiencing. This can be an ongoing challenge for neurodiverse couples, so during this episode we talk about the ways in which this can lead to "a collision of needs" and how beneficial it can be when both partners gain a better understanding of their needs and determine which emotional needs can be met in the relationship and which can't. This clarity can help reduce judgment, anger and conflict. If you and your partner experience challenges discussing emotional issues, or if you have difficulty communicating or understanding your emotions and feelings, this episode may provide some insight that can help both partners connect with more grace and compassion.


  • If you want to contact Bron, or order a copy of her book, check out her website at: www.bronwilson.com. You can also buy her e-book on Amazon. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Apr 18, 202357:13