The Spero Show

Do we REALLY only do things for FOUR basic reasons? Or is it more complex than that? Join me as I mull over another perspective on why we do what we do.

Today I wanted to follow up on parenting and boundaries. I set out to talk about learning to set boundaries but this topic is a really hard subject to discuss bc boundaries are vague and different depending on the context. Join me today as we talk more about setting boundaries and hopefully, you can gain some more ideas and perspectives on how to set them yourself.

So, often in life we talk about boundaries. As parents were are either telling others to have them, setting them ourselves, or teaching our kids to. But what is it really? Let's break it down today in the lens of behavior.

There are so many pieces that make a GOOD clinician (BCBA). The same goes for any role when serving others. There is not a list at this point to tell if you are getting a good BCBA. That's like asking how do you know you have a good physician. However, there are effects and behaviors that you can see to gauge the BCBA's perspective on if you or their client is being put first.

I wanted to take a moment to pause and give some more details about what a BCBA is and the history of the role. You may or may not have even heard of what it is. I have talked about it briefly before, but today, lets just dig in. What actually IS a BCBA?

All our kids argue. It's actually a necessary skill to be comfortable to advocating for themselves later in life. But having it in your home all the time can be very unpleasant. Last time we talked about why our kids might argue. Today let's talk a few strategies on what to do about it.

I read a post recently and have heard a lot about this topic: arguing. Arguing happens a lot between siblings and even between kids and their parents. Well, is there a way to get your kids to stop arguing? Actually, yes there are various methods. However, the first thing you need to look at is WHY they are arguing. find the Why-Factor. This episode is all about the main reason why your kids could be arguing.

We andur kids all have habits we don't want to keep happening. A big one I hear from parents is that their kids won't share and we intervene to get our kids to stop. But it happens again and again. When you look at what your kids are doing that you want to change, like arguing vs sharing, you can address it two ways. You can avoid it from happening today or you can teach them to share and get along long-term. You obviously want the long term, but often we default to the first options just because we want our kids happy and to survive. Join me in this episode as I talk about what stops a behavior short term vs long term, i.e. avoiding vs teaching.

There are so many pieces to take into account for weaning, that there is likely no EXACT one way to do it. It boils down to you (as the parent), the nursing/bottle drinking y-factors, and what combination of strategies works for the 2 of you. Weaning is a big milestone. Today let's talk some hows in connection to your and your little's part.

So researching online and reading books usually talks about what you little need for nutrition, step-by-step processes, and medical necessity for weaning. It does not, however, talk about the y-factor of nursing/bottle drinking and how to replace that need. Let's talk some today about that perspective to give you more support before moving into the weaning phase.

When you look up how or when to wean your baby, it always talks about the environmental factors to do or have happen. It never talks about YOU and YOUR part in this whole process in weaning. Today, lets pause and take consideration of what you need in place before jumping into this learning phase for your little.

So, we have talked about parenting alone with or without a partner. When you have a habit of parenting alone, though, why does that happen? Let talks today about that connects to the why-factors.

So, the last episode was about how solo parents can parent. But what about if you actually have a partner to parent with? But they don't actually show up in a way that is helpful? Today I want to add perspective to this because so many parents express feeling this way.

Co-Parenting. It's something I have not seen much success in with divorce or separation. In this episde I talk about how I am showing up for my 50% no matter what the other parent is doing. It's my 50% that counts for me and you could do the same.

We all talk about the ray things our kids do and how they KEEP doing them again and again. But, let's think about this. If our kids' behaviors only change when WE do. How much change are WE willing to do? What discomfort are WE willing to go through to affect change in our kids? That answer will answer this: are WE the ones actually holding our kids back?

Do you keep grounding or taking away fun activities and it JUST ISN'T fixing anything with your kids? On top of it, you are taking the fun away for yourself too. Lets talk about what you can do to get out of this cycle.

We've all done it. "I can't do a play date because my kid is off the chart!" But, have you noticed that the behaviors that proceeded this happen again DESPITE the grounding from the play date? Let's talk today about WHY that is.

In the last two episodes, we talked about parenting at your wit's end. The focus was on taking care of you and the basics. Once those are taken care of though, what's next? How do you move forward and get out of feeling overwhelmed? In this episode, I talk about how to free yourself with your perspective. It's from your inside habits that your outside habits can have a chance to change.

So, I had a plan to talk about other things for this pod. Then life hit and I thought, forget it. Today we talk about life. The last episode was about parenting at your wits end. Well, today, I am there. Taking care of me. Just showing up. But you know what I would want to hear? That someone else was going through it and makes it to the other side. I also would want to know if I am doing the right thing. So I share my life today on how taking care of you first and just showing up is often the BEST thing you can do for your kids.

We've all been there. Going days and moments of being at our wit's end. Someone asked me about this recently. What do we do? Well, the first thing to do is to take care of you. How do you do that? Find the why and go back to the basics. Join me as I share how I've looked at my basics to take care of myself and hopefully empower you to do the same.

So many parents of young children are being recommended early intervention only to find themselves on wait lists for months. The whole point of EI is to start support for your little ASAP, but the system does not allow for that. I offer interim services, so feel free to reach out. However, for now, let's talk about how to look at that waiting period and what you could do. It doesn't have to be lost time. It is an opportunity for you to help your little one grow and change and build positive experiences and memories that you will always have.

In the EI package that I talked about last time, there is one piece called ABA which is applied behavior analysis. Well, what is it? Let's break down the basics of what the treatment model should look like. There are variables across companies but let's just talk basics.

As soon as you little shows any delays in developing the recommendations are "Get EI" or early intervention. Well, what is it? Let's dig into that and the purpose for it in this episode.

There are a lot of extreme opinions on whether or not to get the ASD diagnosis. Today I want to add a perspective as to maybe why you could want to take the plunge and get the diagnosis. However, the choice should always be yours as the caregiver or the individual yourself. Hopefully in this episode, however, you have some new angles to consider for making your choice.

Let's talk ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder. No, I am not on the spectrum myself, so it is an outside view. I am also not going into the diagnostic criteria for that, which you can find in the DSM-V. However, I do want to dig into how to view those with the diagnosis with a lens of the beauty of how humans can be wired differently from the inside out.

Join me this time as I take a moment to redirect the coming episodes. I am looking to connect more with parents of children who are or may not be on the Autism spectrum. Today I explain what will be happening in the coming weeks as we dive into topics that are geared more toward those of you starting your journey of early intervention services.

Let's talk about this time what happens when we, as adults, don't engage in rule-governed behaviors. 

In continuing this talk on rule-governed behaviors, let's look at kids and how this applies to them. Join me as I discuss how children need to learn more through experience. They generally have less rule-governed behaviors just due to how much language they can understand and life they have already experienced. But the proof is in the stories.

So, I got a question on TikTok when I made a video about "rule-governed behavior" asking me what about if they don't have it? It was a fantastic question and is more than just a sentence to answer. So, let's start with what rule-governed behavior is and then talk more in the next episodes.

So we all know how wise we are after a few mimosas, LOL. But the other day during brunch my friend leans forward and says, "If you want to change the world, you have to start with you." Now, this might sound a little cliche, but she had a point. I hadn't decided to change myself yet. So, it got me thinking about how real change has to come from the inside out. Join me as I dig into how a light switch change has to happen inside before we can actually change our own habits.

Awareness is a step towards habit change. Today I have a great friend join me as she shares the habits and perspectives of living with diabetes from a young age. Together we discuss the habits she has but also how those around her can also be aware that their habits may be affecting loved ones with diabetes.

Are you a parent working to become a better person and change your habits? Well, make sure you know that unless you are proactive about wanting your new habits, your old ones will always come back.

There seems to be this trend going around where, once yo are a parent, you can't value yourself or have habits to do so. Let's talk about the habits that do or don't show your kids how much you are worth.

With Mother's Day happening, let's talk about mom habits. Why is it that of the 365 days of the year, moms wait for that ONE day to do or have something for themselves Let's break this down today in a behavioral way.

What is the one action you can do to start changing your habits? Literally, just show up when and where your new action is supposed to happen. Whether it's changing your body, your work, or anything else. Just showing up one day after another is what creates the domino effect of where you "happen" to change.

In this episode, I wrap up the April discussion of ABA services as it relates to the ASD community. The ABA system is not perfect, but it's big. There are a lot of things that can be adjusted and changed to make it better. However, I think the first thing we need to do is LISTEN to the autistic community and as THEM what THEY way. If the services are for them in the first place, why would we NOT start with their perspective? However, the ABA community in turn needs to be willing to swallow the unpleasant pill that its system needs to change. Otherwise, nothing will change.

We have talked about services for autism with just me and another BCBA. However, this time I wanted to bring in a most important key. The perspective of someone in the autistic community. Join us as Brandon shares life from his lens.

Fear. The escape factor. It's what holds so many people back. But at what cost is fear affecting the services and the providers of ABA services.

So, we know that the field of ABA for Autistic services has so many flaws. But do BCBAs' even want to change their own system? Do they want to make it better for the people who are receiving the services? In general, I believe so. But any changes worth having will require growing pains.

So for this month, we are continuing to talk about ABA services as it relates to the Autistic community. This time I talk about another elephant in the room. I dig into reasons and perspectives as to why BCBA's have a bad rep. I am not listing exact examples, but discuss where BCBA's are coming from and how, the field in general, needs to use self-reflection to change this perception.

Let's talk some more about the system and perspectives that surround Autism treatment. This time we have Spero's first guest, Kevin Koo. He is a fellow BCBA, great friend, and owner of Behavior from Scratch. Kevin is currently doing amazing, person-centered work within the residential-care-home population. Join us as we candidly discuss the current climate of ABA services... You may find it's not quite as pristine as it seems.

Let's talk some more about the ABA system as it relates to ASD. Once someone gets a diagnosis of ASD, the main recommendation is ABA treatment. But what is it and what is the system clientele are jumping into. It's not a perfect system. There are flaws and let's break them down this time. But do know that even though there are massive holes in the system, it does not mean it cannot change.

It's April. But let's not talk about Autism like everyone else. Instead, let's talk about the systems, perspectives, treatments, and what we are doing to support Autistics to understand life from their lens. In this episode, I start out by spilling the beans on how ABA is NOT synonymous with Autism.

Everyone has an opinion on if Will Smith's slapping Chris Rock was for show or the real deal. I personally think we shouldn't look at the micro-events. We need to look at the macro. But what is that? Let's break down what these are and why macro should be the way to go.

We've all seen the clip by now of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock. But WHY would he do it? What motivated him to do something so out of character? Was it staged?! Was it for more views?!... Let's say for argument's sake it was not staged. What then? What would drive this kind of behavioral episode? Well, let's shake down the possible behavior y-factors as they play out in this scenario.

So we are on another talk about person-centered treatment within residential group homes. We already talked about the necessary perspective behind it, but do we know how to apply it? It is going to be a little different across clients, but that's because it is PERSON-centered. Join me as I talk about some perspectives and how-to's to implement person-centered care.

When working in a residential group home I have often been asked about client/person-centered treatment. Well, I think it is more than just changing the setup. It is taking your client's perspective and wants into account accomodating to give them the most fulfilled life possible. However, we seomtimes have a lens of our own holding us back from truly seeing our client's perspective. Join me as I describe true stories of how we could evidently impose our views on our clients.

So I had a question about client-centered/based services within residential group homes. So this is the start of an answer. It starts with viewing the world the way they do. In this episode I share some true stories on how to change your lense to theirs.

Do you know that gut feeling when doing something you don't want? That's called doing it EVEN when it's uncomfortable. As humans, that does not come naturally. We are wired to avoid discomfort. It's going against the natural cycle of the y-factors. However, you can actually learn to do things that are uncomfortable. Join in and hear more about how this works. 

So, I know I'm not with the calendar, but with Women's International Day last week, I have been thinking a lot about women's behaviors. Why do we do things the way that we do? Why do we hold back? Why do we feel guilty if we EVER put anything but everything ELSE first?... Let's take a look at why (behaviorally) women tend to hold back and not allow themselves the freedom to do the actions they need to become who they want to be.