Relationship Therapy with Ben

I saw a video recently that had "4 Things Healthy Couples Do." I thought it would be helpful to expand on those ideas, so today we'll be talking about those 4 tips, why they make a lot of sense, and how you can implement them into your relationship. Check out the video and creator here: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8d6EEes/0:00 Intro 0:07 "4 Things Healthy Couples Do" 1:22 Healthy Couples Encourage More than Complain 2:36 They Respond to Attempts for Connection 4:17 They Express Love in Their Partner's Love Language 6:11 They Take Responsibility 8:32 Thanks for Watching! My YouTube Channel ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLAzCTJHQJA-eK70JBTp7cw⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en Listen on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0Ib8G3jN5P0TBumRZgbIb7 My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

In our society being on the conveyer belt of life or stuck in the rat race is incredibly common. This is understandable, but unfortunate because for many it means not really enjoying our day-to-day life. In today's video we'll talk about why we get stuck here, why it can be a win-win to enjoy and appreciate our life more, and how we can go about doing so. 0:00 Intro 0:32 What's it Mean to be Stuck on the Conveyer Belt of Life? 1:38 Why Do We Get Stuck in the Rat Race? 3:48 What Are the Benefits of Having More Balance? 7:28 How Do You Actually Create More Balance? 11:02 Thanks for Watching! My YouTube Channel ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLAzCTJHQJA-eK70JBTp7cw⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en Listen on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0Ib8G3jN5P0TBumRZgbIb7 My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

It's extremely common to prioritize our partner's pleasure during sex, and neglect ourselves. On the surface, focusing on them can seem like a great idea, but it often creates issues in the sexual relationship. In today's video I talk about why it is so common to prioritize the other person, the downsides of that, the benefits of prioritizing yourself, and how to actually do that.

0:00 Intro

0:17 What Are the Downsides of Prioritizing Your Partner?

2:19 Why is it so Common to Prioritize the Other Person?

3:52 Why Would Focusing on Ourselves Help?

6:15 How Do We Start Focusing on Our Own Pleasure?

7:59 What Focusing on Our Own Pleasure *Doesn't* Mean

10:29 Thanks for Watching!

My YouTube Channel ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLAzCTJHQJA-eK70JBTp7cw

⁠Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en

Listen on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0Ib8G3jN5P0TBumRZgbIb7

My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

When we've been in a long-term relationship, praise and appreciation can start to diminish. This is natural, but it can become a problem if there's rarely any appreciation. In today's video I talk about why we find ourselves in a relationship without praise, the benefits of expressing more appreciation, and how to go about changing that. 0:00 Intro 0:41 What Does Expressing Appreciation Actually Mean? 1:34 Why Do We Express Less Appreciation? 3:35 What Are the Benefits of Expressing More Appreciation? 6:42 How Can We Build a Culture of Appreciation? 8:51 Thanks for Watching! My YouTube Channel ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLAzCTJHQJA-eK70JBTp7cw⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en Listen on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0Ib8G3jN5P0TBumRZgbIb7 My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

Setting boundaries is something that tons of people struggle with throughout the year, but that struggle can come up much more often during the holidays (for those that listen later, I'm posting this right around the holidays). When you get a family together under the same roof, there can be a lot of differing opinions and views, or ways of navigating through certain situations.   

Today we'll be exploring why setting boundaries can be a great thing, why it's usually quite difficult to do, and practical tips to work through setting those boundaries.  

0:00 Why Setting Boundaries is So Hard 

0:40 What Does it Mean to Set Boundaries? 

2:05 Reasons Why it is So Difficult  

6:44 How Can You Set Boundaries More Effectively? 

10:35 Be Patient with Yourself in this Process 

11:51 If You Need More Help... 

12:03 Thank for Listening!  

Listen on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0Ib8G3jN5P0TBumRZgbIb7  

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en  

My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

We hear from many sources how we can communicate with our partner, what strategies work, what isn't healthy, etc etc. But we're rarely given specific, real-world examples that we can learn from. Do these people giving this advice actually do these things and that's how they know it works? Or does it sound good in theory, but falls apart in practice?  

In this episode I talk about an example where I chose to communicate with my partner intentionally, and how I handled it. This isn't to say that I'm a perfect partner or therapist, but I think it gives a valuable peek into why I work with my clients on how to communicate differently, in a way that works for them (as it does for me). Check it out to see how this Couples Therapist communicates.   

0:00 How a Couples Therapist Communicates in Their Relationship 

0:18 Overview 

0:39 Why is This Important to Talk About? 

1:48 Synopsis 

3:20 How I Chose to Handle it 

5:06 What it Led to 

6:05 How I Could've Handled it 

7:40 How it Could've Ended Up 

9:22 Takeaways 

12:42 If You Need More Help... 

13:02 Thanks for Listening!  

Listen on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0Ib8G3jN5P0TBumRZgbIb7 

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en 

My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

The Holidays can be a wonderful time with family, friends, and in your relationship, but it can also be a time of stress and friction. For many of us in relationships, the holidays can add a lot of tension with the amount of plans we have, traveling we'll do, and expectations for each other. So how can we get through that in a way that really limits the stress, and instead feel like we're on the same team?

In this episode we talk about common difficulties and sticking points that couples have, and what you can do about them. If you're willing to have some conversations ahead of time, I believe that it will give you a much more solid foundation to work off of together.

0:00 How to Navigate the Holidays as a Couple

0:41 Why is This Important to Talk About?

1:05 Plan and Set Expectations with Each Other

2:22 Talk About Specific Details

3:49 If You Have Children, Make a Plan Together

4:46 Share Hot-Button Issues / Triggers that You Have

6:00 Reflect on What You've Struggled with in the Past

7:18 How do You Want to Handle Difficult Moments in the Future?

8:04 Stay on the Same Team, and Be Patient with Each Other

8:35 Summary

9:39 If You Need More Help...

10:02 Have a Happy Holiday!

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en

My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

Feeling disconnected can be one of the most subtle problems in a relationship because it can easily sneak up on us. Then, weeks and months go by and we find ourselves dissatisfied in the relationship. What leads us to disconnect, and how can we reconnect with each other?  

In this episode we talk about connection in relationships, what brings us together, what pushes us apart, and how we can come back together when we find ourselves disconnected. Check it out to not only learn about how you can take steps closer together, but also how to stay connected over the years.   

0:00 How to Reconnect with Your Spouse 

0:18 Overview 

0:39 Why is This Important to Talk About? 

2:08 What Does it Mean to be Disconnected? 

3:28 What Leads us to Disconnect? 

5:32 What Does it Mean to be Connected? 

6:25 What Leads us to Connect?  

7:54 How Can We Reconnect? 

13:16 Takeaways 

14:05 If You Need More Help... 

14:27 Thanks for Listening!  

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en 

My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

The dreaded Roommate Phase. If you've been in a long-term relationship, odds are you've been here before for some span of time. This isn't surprising since it's such an easy trap to fall into, and can be very difficult to get out of.  

In this episode I talk about the Roommate Phase, what it is & what it feels like, what can get us stuck in this dynamic, and what we can do to get out of it. If you feel like roommates with your significant other, I hope there will be some insight that can help.   

0:00 How to Get Out of the Roommate Phase 

0:14 Overview 

0:28 Why is This Important to Talk About? 

1:28 What is the Roommate Phase 

3:51 How Do We End Up Here? 

8:18 What is the Connected Phase? 

9:42 How Do We Get There? 

13:49 Highlights / Takeaways 

15:11 If You Need More Help... 

15:24 Thanks for Listening!  

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en 

My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

When I ask a lot of my couples what they fight about, they'll say, "stupid, little things, things that shouldn't make us this upset." Why is that? Why do couples end up fighting about things that don't seem like they're a big deal?  

In this episode we talk about the beginning of a conversation, why it's incredibly important, and why a Harsh Startup can take us off the rails. Check it out to not only learn about Harsh Startups, but also what you can do about them so these "little things" don't become fights.   

0:00 Why Do We Fight About Small, Stupid Things? 

0:20 Overview 

0:38 Why is This Important to Talk About? 

2:50 Why is the Beginning so Important? 

4:41 What is a Harsh Startup? 

5:51 What is a Soft Startup? 

7:54 Harsh Startup Example 

8:45 Soft Startup Example 

9:49 Practical Tips slide 1 

11:20 Practical Tips slide 2 

13:15 If You Need More Help... 

14:03 Thanks for Listening!  

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en 

My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/

We all know of different turn offs in relationships that we've heard of or talked to friends about. But have you heard of Sexual Desire Poisons? In today's podcast I discuss what they are, how you can tell if you have a Sexual Desire Poison in your relationship, and what the "antidote" is to each poison.   

0:00 Sexual Desire Poisons  

0:18 Overview  

0:37 Why is This Important?  

1:40 What AREN'T Sexual Poisons?  

2:16 What ARE Sexual Poisons?  

2:39 Anger  

3:54 Distance  

5:43 Anxiety / Pressure  

7:50 Example for Anger  

8:34 Example for Distance  

9:23 Example for Anxiety / Pressure  

10:17 "Antidotes" to each Poison  

14:30 If You Need More Help   

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/benkingtherapy/?hl=en  

My Website https://www.benkingtherapy.com/